Long story short: My brother had one night stand with girl and she had a baby. He is a wonderful child and we adore him so. He is 5 now. My brother buys him clothes, jackets, shoes, and takes him out for dinners, entertainment and this all adds up, PLUS he pays for the child support $650. He even has to drive out 2 HOURS to see his kid on weekends.
My family gets to only see our dear nephew 2 DAYS a month. She claims he's always sick, and she wants my brother to come over there to spend time with her and the kid and she makes my brother go on HER job calls. She is using my brother so bad financially and emotionally.
She always threatens legal action to him for NO reason. No one in my family likes her but we give the child everything love attention, care, and buy everything that he needs and he is happy at our home.
My Q in case she pulls a crazy stunt to go to court, what should my brother have receipts, papers, pictures or what in court to prove that he is a good father? HELP!
2007-02-01 05:49:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the #1 thing he needs is an attorney.
2007-02-01 05:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by The Pig! 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
All he needs is proof of how much he's paying for child support. As far as everything else he does/gives that's his choice and not considered child support. He doesn't have to do those things, but it's great that he does. They also need to have some sort of visitation schedule worked out in court. He shouldn't have to be with her to see his child. Make sure it's court ordered as to how the child will be picked up and by whom. I have a friend that lives 4 hours away from his daughter. They meet at a halfway point so each has a 2 hour drive. Should also have something in there about how medical expenses will be divided. Just a few things that are real important if going to court turns out to be necessary. And keep in mind there is such thing in most states called "Grandparent Rights". When my ex and I divorced his mother petitioned for them (I have no idea why because all she had to do was call and I never refused.), but they got a designated weekend each month for visitation and I guess they needed that reassurance.
2016-05-24 02:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you are in, or what has been court ordered...but I'll answer as best I can. The majority of courts would order her to do 50% of transport. Typically each parent is responsible for getting the child "back". So he would go pick up, and she would have to drive to get him. Unless he moved away, and then he could be responsible for all transport? Also he should be able to have over nights. Pick the child up on EOW weekend (some dads even get 3 weekends a month) on a Friday night or early Sat AM, and then bring him back Sunday evening. Once visitation is established, the clothes and toy etc that you purchase can stay at your brothers house for when your nephew comes to visit. Technically, the child support should be covering half of all his expenses, so your husband should not have to contribute more for clothing etc...with the exception of the things he needs at his house. Shoot me an e-mail with any questions. I've been through a lot of this.
2007-02-01 07:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Amy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything he gives his child that is NOT UNDER COURT ORDER is considered a gift. It makes absolutely no difference to the court that he "gifts" the child.
Now, if the mom is refusing his visitation, HE should take HER back to court, get more visitation and get his child support obligation lowered for the extra time he spends with the child. He should also ask the court to make her do some of the transportation for visitatation or give him financial credit for doing all the driving. She should not be able to put stipulations on where he sees the child.
All the proof of him being a good father is with you and the rest of your family that stand by him and support him with his child. Dad's are getting recognized as important and good parents for their children these days. It's not always a given that the mother gets sole custody. He needs to get an attorney involved and go get some more time with his child.
2007-02-01 05:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing your brother can do is a hire an attorney. It worked for me, plus any receipts that he has that show he is paying child support are essential!!! It might not help out overall, but if he can show he's helped out the mother financially to that could be useful. Any receipts he can use to show he is providing for his son will definitely help.
This way the mother can say whatever she wants, but it's hard to say your brother hasn't paid when he shows the judge copies of the receipts. Actually, receipts are good, but if has something showing that the mother cashed the check/money order will definitely be a plus. Sadly I know all this from personal experience. Remember: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU KNOW, BUT WHAT YOU CAM PROVE!!!!!!! Best of Luck.
2007-02-01 06:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by evil_paul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As the other people said, have you brother document everything. he should never, ever, ever, ever (did I say never?) give her cash for child support or give her monetary help whatsoever. If he wants to buy his son clothes, that's his responsibility. You take your child to the movies, zoos, etc...that's just what you do. But if he is approached by the mother to buy groceries, he needs to make sure that if he does, the ex needs to write him receipt. Yes, it may sound nitpicky, but if they go to court, do you actually think she'll say what a great guy he is for helping??
Your brother is caught in a catch-22 and the ex thinks that she is the one in charge.
Your brother should really get in touch with a family attorney and establish his parental rights, custody, and visitation schedule. Once this is in place, the ex must adhere to it or else is in contempt. She just won't let go and your brother is allowing her to pull the strings. She will continue to use your nephew as a pawn and that's just not right.
2007-02-01 05:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by PO'd in Portland 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother of two. My ex husband pays child support every month. We recently went to mediation inwhich we had to meet w/a counselor to resolve some visitation issues. The counselor said that child support is based on what i make and what he makes. Anything extra my Ex spends on the kids, clothes, food, hair cuts, entertainment etc.....he can keep receipts, take me back to court to get reimbursed for those things. If he has to buy clothes for the kids to keep at his house.....he could get paid back because that's what the child support is for. That's all i can say....save your receipts....log everything extra you spend, whether it's gas on your weekend, clothes, food...whatever.
In my case...it wouldn't do my ex any good to take me back to court for those things because i can add all the other medical/dental expenses he has never helped me pay for per court order.
Anyway....love is better than money. Sounds like he has a loving, caring family on your side. Plus if she's keeping him away using the excuse that he's sick....write down all those times he's sick. Tell him to write down anything and everything. He needs to call her bluff. She's a threatening little "B" if you ask me.
2007-02-01 06:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start keeping a log of calls made to and from him to her. Time and date with notes on the conversation. If she is claiming that the child is sick on a certain day, then she better be able to prove it in court. If dad has legal visitation days and she makes excuses of illness and he can not have the kid, then you can file for physical custody. She has no right to hold that child from dads rights. She is just posturing and if I were you, I'd file against her. I bet she gets all upset and scared herself and she should be. Get your log started and be specific.. If she is on the phone and you have another line. Have someone wittiness what is being said. If she leaves messages make copies. You sound like a great family and you should have custody of this child. Good Luck
Tracylyn S
2007-02-01 06:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He needs all those that you listed, but one thing more..........a witness. From now on when he visits the child, you or someone else goes with him. Case closed. And she won't take him to court, she's got it good right now and she knows it. It's just her way of keeping your brother wrapped around her little finger. And your brother might want to consider getting a lawyer and going for visitation papers through the courts, that way legally she cannot do **** about it and your brother will be able to take his child out of her home and back home with him. He is allowing her to take advantage, and only he can stand up to her. Tell him it's high time to think of his kid, not worry about her.
2007-02-01 05:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he should file the suit first..since he is already paying child support..yes he should keep EVERYTHING regarding his child in case she says he dont even take care of him..anything especially the proof of child support.Oh please dont let him pay her child support in cash..it's hard to prove that...make sure he pays her by check or money order. I have respect for your family for loving the child despite not liking his mother although I hope no bad words are said about her in front of him.
But yea he should go ahead and make everything legal..he's already doing everything right..just make it legal..even if he's "sick" he still has a right to see his child and take care of him..she has no choice but to follow the visitation rules..more than likely he'll get MORE time than he's getting now.
If he decides to wait until she does it...he will still come out winner in the end because he's a good father and i'm sure they will talk to the child and find that out.
Good luck
2007-02-01 05:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by Celeste' 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should definitely have receipts, etc. The clothes, jackets, shoes should come out of the child support. He should only buy those things if he wants to or should keep them with him. She is using your brother for everything she can. He should call her bluff and take her back for a reduction in support or for a change of the visitation schedule.
2007-02-01 05:55:29 · answer #11 · answered by jenniferlebo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋