and he has known since Oct. We have been apart since Aug. and we see each other b/c of our daughter. Well, a week ago, he tells me I'm the one for him and he's been wrong and he wants us to be together, we've been on/off for 6 yrs. I was seeing someone else and stopped and sstarted to think about this. He promised to change and apologized for everything. We hung out for a week, he asked me to stay, I didn't. He held me and told me his most personal thoughts about us and his regrets and made promises. Well, at the end of the week, he tells me he got another girl pregnant. They did it once, and there was a problem with the condom. He's seen her twice since and doesn't know what to do. He's said he wanted to be with me and wants to have the baby as part of his life also. I am so hurt and angry and don't know how I could ever make it work with him? Would it be crazy to try? Has this happened to you before? Please HELP ME!!!!
2007-02-01 05:36:17 · 12 answers · asked by confuzed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't know you, or him, but I bet if I did I would give you this same answer.
It sounds like this guy isn't very stable in your relationship together. When you're with a man like that, you get so much pain that comes along with him.
He may be handsome, a good lover, or really fun to be with, but that will never make up for the damage to your self-confidence, and the doubt, and the hurt.
Let your daughter have a relationship with him and be civil to him, but then I say go out and get a make-over, buy some beautiful new clothes and go out and meet new people and have some fun. Don't think about him any more as a mate. It is better to be alone, than to be with a man that makes your heart break.
Let him go. He's a heart-breaker.
2007-02-01 05:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by babydoll 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and he weren't together when he got this other person pregnant, so that little action should not be your concern. I can understand your hurt and anger, but the fact is you were both seeing other people at the time.
What should be a concern is how trustworthy/committed he is to making a marriage work and being a responsible adult parent for the child that you had together. You know him better than we do. Look at the situation HONESTLY without any hormonal influence swaying your thoughts - this time, think of the child and what the child needs.
2007-02-01 06:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should continue to move on with your life without him because he made a fool out of you by getting another woman pregnant and has the nerve to tell you that he wants to be with you instead of her! He should still continue to play an active role in his daughter's life and continue to be there for her, but other than that, there won't be a relationship between the both of you. It does hurt like hell, but what's the point on continuing a relationship with someone that you can't trust? This is something to think about and you deserve better than that! Good luck to you and I wish you the best!
2007-02-01 07:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have already answered your own question. You left him for a reason. Trust in your instincts and move on with your life. It doesn't mean you still cannot have a friendly/honest relationship with your child's father. In fact all the better for your child.
Your ex needs to step up to the plate and accept the consequences of his behavior. He needs to take responsibility of being a father of two children now. He doesn't need you to help him do that. If you feel confused and frustrated now...think how it might be down the road if you get back with him? Do you really want this kind of anxiety?
2007-02-01 06:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by NanaCat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave this fool alone. He does not know who he is or what he wants. You will continue to get hurt your whole life if you stay with him. Let him be a father to your child, but to ask you to help him raise his other child, he is a total selfish Pr-ck and you should look for someone who will respect you more then he has. Your daughter will grow up and one day look at that half sibling and wonder WTF you were thinking and why do is my sibling living at some other ladies house. When he has to go over to the other ladies house for kids reasons, how do you know what he is really doing? RUN, and run fast, he is a loooooser.
Tracylyn S
2007-02-01 05:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry this has happen to you. But the good news is you and him were broken-up. It also happen to me. But the differences was my man and I were still together. I was pregnant with are daughter while he had another girl pregnant.But here the thing with you. You know already. All that staff he just saying to you like your the one. Then way for the last 6yrs you in him been on in off. In 6yrs he didn't want to make a comment to you. But now he scared in running back to you, saying baby baby I love you in your the one. Come now. open your eyes.Of course it hurts and your angry. That's normal for you to feel that way. But trust me dare, he not ready to just be with you. A responsible man would of took it more seriously in did something to not to get a other women pregnant. In you believe his story about there was a problem with the condom. He lying to you. The bottom line is are you going to take him, with his new child and the baby mom. Because remember along comes the child along comes the momma. In there is nothing you could do or try to do. In don't most women want there baby daddy's with them to raise there child together. So do you think this other women going to go quietly?If you except this man, because you have feelings. Please your going to find yourself in a living h e l l. If you do except this your going to have to suck it up. In don't complain all your going to do is run him off to her. The ball is in your park now. In go read ten stupid things women to to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger
2007-02-01 07:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know he knew what he is doing and he know what been going on for last 6 years on/off you know.. And now he telling you how he feels and want to work it out and he promise... but that after he found out he got that girl pregant.... so now he rather to be with you than that girl and If he didn't have sex with that girl first place would he still tell you?? even if he didn't meet her???
My question is that said that think that there a problem with the condom??? you know that funny... 1 in ever 100 men can get girl pregant so if he smart to read the box and say to myself umm if I have sex with that girl just one time but there is a risk for that.. Umm I do love my woman and my daugthers ummm. he never sit and think about what will happen if I do that and didn't do that??? just went and had sex and all about him and her though she will be perfect but got pregant??? damn...
Just be his friend make sure he pay for child support no matter what and that life that he need to face.. for what he did he knew what right and wrong.
Look at me I am a male I married to my wife why Because she the one i ever want to be with and we broken up when we gf and bf and now took me 5 years to have her my life but finally she said yes and we knew now it been 9 years and one daughter 3 and 1 son 2 and now 3rd due 2 months in march 2007.. So, my wife before we got married I asked her how much do you trust me? she said my life and our futrue kids life are in your hand .. whoa that how much she trust me and I can say no i don't want to get married that too strong for have that trust but I said yes because she the one for me and yes we have up and down and 3 biggest almost to end the marriage but we still love eachother so much. so is our kids smiling.
So, I know where I stand and make the choice and I made the choice to be with her ... and that best choice i ever made.
For what he done to you that really pissed me off not think of his own daughters?? and even you....
2007-02-01 06:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been part-way down the same road dear.
If he knew about this baby and waited to tell you, than either he fears you will leave his life for good, or he is UP to no good.
This is something that you have to figure out, but listen to your head, not your heart. I was almost raped and beated by my former X's and they are someone who will never change because it has yet to happen to them so they dont know the pain.
I wish I could be of help to you, but all I can say is listen to your head because us women are gifted with that little voice in our heads and alot of the time it is right.. If you think he is fooling around and you got that sick gut feeling about it all the time, than listen to it. I didnt listen one time and I regreted what happened to me later on.
Good luck to you and I wish you the best in love, & Life.
2007-02-01 06:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by viperchick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you really truly love him, and you believe he has changed then take him back! Alot of people don't understand this, but I am in a similar situation, and it is not easy to just dismiss your childs father, and I would say start over, and try to except the child as a kind of package deal, just like a woman would want a man to except her and her child. I would say to atleast try and if it doesn't work out then, just try to move on. I wish you the best in this situation!
2007-02-01 05:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by kay-kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first get rid of that box of condoms and get a new one. And, isn't that what you were expecting someone else to do in your life. Accept your child and you. Also, you were on a break... You saw someone else, too. You were just more careful with your goodies than he was.
2007-02-01 06:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by Zookeeper 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋