What would you do if your friend........?

Question

What would you do if your friend kept on putting you and your kids down at every available opportunity. She tells me i am too thin, and my son is too fat and hyperactive, and that my other son is too nice!!
I have tried to have a word with her about this, but she seems oblivious to the fact that it really upsets me. When she has been in hospital for a week, i am the one who looked after her sonn, all day and night for a week, yet a few weeks later she told me that she thought my worst trait was that i am selfish, she has never had either of my kids at all!!

She makes me feel like the worst mum in the world coz i am single mum and not financially well off, yet she is married and never helps her son with his homework, so when mine comes home with stars and stickers for great work, hers doesnt, and all she says is.." i suppose you do have to try harder with your son coz u r a single mum!"
HELP!!

Answer 1

I cant believe you still call this girl your friend...Only you get to decide how your children should be raised, and anybody who tries to tell you different or put you down about it is obviously a messed up human being...

It sounds like your friend is jealous of your family life...and just because you are a single mom she feels she is better than you in some way or another...Maybe she doesn't have such the happy family life that she makes out she does...and it sounds like she's very jealous of yours...
She cannot stand that she has a partner and you dont and she's more financially well of than you, but yet you're a better parent than her...all by yourself!

I'm a single parent myself and get judged by others all too often because of this...and it is hard not too let it get to you and make you feel like you're not giving enough to your child/ren...But you know you are a great mom and you know you give as much as you possibly can and that is all you need to know.

You may not think it but your kids have probably picked up on this demeening behavior towards you by your 'friend' and they're learning from her that thats how you treat people who aren't as well off etc.

And on that point alone is why i couldn't let her get away with this behaviour any more.

You know you have to confront her, and if you truely do want to salvage yere relationship you can sit her down and tell her that there wont be a relationship for much longer if she keeps treating you in such a demeening and childish mnner.....But if you feel like she has crossed that point just go to her and tell her that you cant be friends anymore because of it and thats that....dont even let her respond because she doesnt deserve a corner to fight.

I really hope you'll be strong in this whatever the outcome, think of how it will benefit your children not having to pick up on that abuse anymore!

Good luck!

(oh and if your children go to school together and you are worried that ending your friendship with their mum will have a bad effect on that, well dont worry about it until it happens because it might'nt, you'd be surprised at what does'nt bother kids when they are friends, you will still be civil to her when you meet her...you're obviously the only adult in the relationship after all!)

Answer 2

Businesses has a term for customers that are never happy no matter how far you bend over backwards - Bad customers. Businesses sometimes have to make the decision to stop doing business with bad customers.

This woman is a bad friend. You need to make the decision to stop being friends with this woman. All she's doing is bringing you down and causing you emotional pain. She's not oblivious, she's simply insensitive or doesn't care that she's hurting you. You don't deserve that. You sound like you're doing the best that you can, and it sounds like you're doing a fine job. She sounds like she's jealous that you're doing a better job parenting your child(ren) as a single mother than she is doing parenting her child(ren) as a married and well off mom. Jealousy is toxic. Discontinue the relationship.

Answer 3

You should stop talking to her because she is not a real friend if she is doing all that. Everything that she say should make you want to do better and make you a stronger person. Just keep your head up and don't let everything hurt you or get you down. A real friend will not talk down, but would help you in your weak spots. In the end she might just be jealous of what good mother you is.

Answer 4

she isent a true friend hon a true friend would be supoorting u and praising u on the great job u r doing with ur children she doesent have a right to tell u that ur too fat or thin and ur son is too fat or thin and hyperactive ignore her phone calls cut her out of ur life and make friends with people who will appreiciate u for the great person and wonderful mother that u r, good luck xxx

Answer 5

Honey, she is not a friend. Be proud being a single mom. Its a hard job that comes with alot of rewards. She is not a true friend or she would not be saying the things she says. Find another associate. True friends are very far and in between.

Answer 6

you call this woman your friend????? she is a very self centred woman who obviously feels its her right to put other people down. so what if your a single mum and so what if your not well off', what matters if that you put your family first and i suspect that she simply puts you down to make her self feel better about the fact that you are the better person. i suggest you avoid her for a while and she will son see that she is lucky to have you as a friend.

Answer 7

It sounds as if she's jealous of you, even if her life is "seems" better. She's jealuos that your boys are so well off in school and her 1 child is not because she doesn't take enough time. She's pawning her feelings of herself on you becuase she wants you to feel bad. Continue being a great mother and ignore her rude comments! If it gets super bad, stop talking to her.

Answer 8

If shes not getting it even when you are talking to her, then stop hanging out with her. Even though she is your best friend, you dont deserve to be treated that way. Its only going to make you depressed and question your ability as a mother, and no mother needs that. Its not helping you or your child. Trying hanging out with someone more upbeat, more positive, you'd be surprised how much it can change your mood.

Answer 9

Punch her in the face and get rid of her!! what kind of friend is she ?

It sounds as if she is only saying these things 'cos you let her get away with it, next time she says anything - put her down, don't ever look after her kids again and stand up for yourself, and get some real friends, who value you and treat you properly.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you are a great mum and she is jealous of you....she's not a good friend at all and you need to get rid asap....no-one should make you feel like you're a bad mum, least of all someone who is supposed to be a friend.