one of my good friends is getting married soon ive been going with her to help choose her wedding dress and have said i will help in anyway with the wedding. but i dont think she is inviting me to the wedding ceremony and im only to the evening do !! do you think im being daft or is she being mean ? weve been friends for about 5 years now and have helped each other with lots of things. what do you think ?
2007-02-01 05:19:43 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
she as sort of hinted she only wants family there !!!
2007-02-01 05:24:41 · update #1
she asked me to help her and i said yes thats what friends do !!! im not doing it for a pat on the back and ive not told anyone else im helping her !!!
2007-02-01 05:34:08 · update #2
ive only asked the question because people keep saying im her only friend and i must be going to the ceremony but i dont know what to say im just confused about it really
2007-02-01 05:52:25 · update #3
I think you maybe just need to wait... She probably hasn't come up with a guest list as yet... I can understand how upset you would be if she didn't invite you, I know I would be, but maybe that would just show you that maybe she isn't as good a friend as you thought... Help her as much as you can through her wedding but if at the end of it you're not invited, I'd take a step back and maybe wait for her to be a good friend to you in future xx
2007-02-01 06:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by lou lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi i can see why you are annoyed but if she is only having a small wedding then this could be the reason why, but as you are her best mate inviting you wouldnt be too bad you could be her bridesmaid, you dont need to have a lot of bridesmaid, at least then you will be part of her wedding. All i would do is confront her about it, and if you dont like what she has to tell you then dont help her. I dont think its right you sorting out some of her wedding if you aint going to be there at the big moment. I dont think inviting you is going to hurt anyone. Put you foot down and ask her if you are going to be invited to the wedding and if she say she is only going to invite you to the evening do, I would just say well is it fair as im helping you through it all and i would like to be there. Then suggest being a bridesmaid and suggest you will pay for your dress or whatever and if she still says no, then tell her you feel like your being used and you wont beable to help her with the wedding. If she doesnt want any help then let her get on with it herself.
2007-02-01 07:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's already hinting that only family will be at the ceremony, then I don't think you should expect an invitation or be upset that you don't get one.
She's not being mean. There are lot of reason why people want a family-only ceremony, and they open up the party to everyone. However, if she is inviting other friends to the ceremony but not you, then she's being mean.
2007-02-01 05:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's made if clear that she only wants family at the ceremony, then don't make her have to be rude about it. If you're not invited, then you're not. If your feelings are hurt, then your being selfish. Maybe you guys aren't as close as you thought. Or maybe it's a small church and there's only room for family. Besides, the ceremony's boring anyway; now you don't have to go. I think your getting a good deal here.
2007-02-01 07:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by kaiticometrue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok u need to talk to her so everyone will know what is going on. maybe the ceremony is only family members for a certain reason and she knows that to pull everything off she needs someone she can depend on to assist with it all. thats where friendship comes in. Now once u discover that that is not the case dump ur friend like a hot potatoe cause planning a wedding is not apiece of cake... adn if she is just using u to ensure she has the perfect wedding and having u in prepartion servitude mode she is not ur friend.
so before u get ur panties in a wad. ask her. friends have that communication thing.
2007-02-01 05:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a question you have to ask HER.; Are you invited to the wedding?
She may be having a private family ceremony, which is her right.
And are you helping because you want to help, out of friendship; or an invite or for some pats-on-the-back?
2007-02-01 05:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometines chapels are very small and can only accomadate a limited amout of people. This is her wedding and if she chose only family at the ceremony, then that's her choice.
In the reception you will have tiem to socialize, perhaps your expectation are too high and maybe you are pushing her into making you a bridesmaid, maybe she doesn;t want to hurt your feelings, I know that you are trying to be helpful but if she already invited you to the ceremony, then I don;t understand what's your issue.
Good luck
2007-02-01 06:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her gently. Ask her, whos going to the ceremony. You may find out that only family is going. When she tells you, and you find that she hasnt got a good reason for not inviting you, say, oh i wish i could come its gonna be great. Then, she may say, that she invited you and that the invite may have got lost in the post. And if she doesnt say anything, act nice, and at the end of the day, cut the relationship. Make sure you do it gently, she may regret it.
2007-02-01 05:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married last April and we only had family to the actual ceremony. In a registry office you are restricted to numbers you know! We were only allowed 30 in the room. Then we had a small lunch and all the others guests were invited for the evening. I dont think she is being unreasonable. Its very difficult getting married you cant please everyone!
2007-02-01 05:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got married last july, and had a budget to stick to regarding the whole day, and you have to pay for people to go to the ceremony as well as the meal. i struggled with our guest list for the day, as i wanted to invite lots of friends, but in the end i could only afford to invite my closest closest friends, and my family, and all my other friends in the evening. maybe this is the case with your friend- im sure its not because she doesnt want you there, she probably just cant afford to invite everyone even tho she would like to. if it were me, id be honoured she had asked me to help with the preparations- as i know, you really need someone you can trust to help with things like choosing the dress, so she obviously values and trusts you very much.
2007-02-01 05:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by Proudnewmummy! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋