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I have a co-worker that sits right next to my cubicle and she gets mad when other co-workers come talk to me. she seems to think that the world revolves around her and always ask if they were talking about her. i always tell her no because we arent. this is on a constant basis and i dont know how to bring it up nicely to tell her to stop asking me that. she is also always being negative towards other co-workers or even our participants. i dont want managers to be thinking we are both negative since she is talking to me. how do i approach her on telling her to seriously STOP?

2007-02-01 05:19:06 · 14 answers · asked by Jacinda 2 in Society & Culture Etiquette

14 answers

It's likely she considers you her friend---sounds strange, I know, but sometimes people can only relate in a negative way: gossiping and complaining. She is likely insecure and wants to know why she isn't as popular as you, or she wants to be your only friend. Be friendly with her and tell her lightly and with a smile, nudging her, "You worry too much! Lighten up, people around here just don't have time to gossip." Smile and then in a friendly way invite her to lunch with you and your other co-workers. Maybe she has a hard time mixing, and you are the only person she found easy to talk to.

2007-02-01 05:55:55 · answer #1 · answered by * 4 · 0 0

Because your tooo good at what you do. Believe me I have been there an done that. I have been the goody too shoes and humble and not even know it like a poster child for the perfect employee. I was just following my job description and here comes along someone who plans a sting operation to fire me or put me in a position of terribleness. Trust me there are people out there who just wake up in the moring grumpy and you wish they never came to work.
How to deal with people like this.....Bless them. Just go about your day as good as it gets and when you have to be in a sitution with this person after it is over just bless them. sometimes you can say this outloud or to yourself. Don't be a people pleaser because this doesn't work either they just use you even worse and get other people to use you even more. Just be yourself and meditate when you get home and don't talk in front of them to lower yourself to their standards just Bless them and maybe say something positive about their day or outfit or just about the job they are doing. I have an ex_ husband who for years hated when I would make some religious article when I would have to do supervised visits he would be running miles away. You know that saying " more with honey less with vinegar" well believe me if you just pass it off like a duck water runs off the back~ your blood pressure will be okay and YOU will be okay and they will finally realize that it's not worth getting YOU angry about it and they will find another soul or in my case another job and a new husband.
Sometimes the job isn't worth it either because sometimes if that person who is really bothering you has more clout than you do then you may get surprised one day and be called in out of the blue because that person who has been bugging you for months now has made false statements about you and you have to prove to your bosses what happened so you continue to be the REAL person you are and YOUR integrity will stand forth but then always have a backup plan and GO FORTH with GUSTO and LIVE because you as a human being should be having to deal with all that stress everyday. I hope this helped.

2007-02-01 05:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by SillyOle'Bird 2 · 0 0

In every work setting, there is always at least one person who likes to "stir the pot". Your best bet is to distance yourself from this co-worker to avoid appearing negative as well. The next time she asks if you and the others were talking about her, smile, take a deep breath, and say, "No...why on earth would you think something like that?" Then turn back towards your work. If she keeps on, you could pretend that you don't hear her. (Ignore her.) Good luck with this.

2007-02-01 05:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

many of the biggest issues in a relationship are believe and honesty. for sure, your boyfriend has been straightforward with you via telling you about this coworker of his, so that you ought to believe him at the same time as he says that he's purely friends which includes his coworker (except he gives you a reason to have self assurance in the different case). regardless of the indisputable fact that, if it really is bothering you, then convey it up and performance a (calm) talk which includes your boyfriend about it; be straightforward and tell him that you're insecure about this even regardless of the reality that you don't love it (properly, i'm assuming you don't love being insecure). with slightly of success you'll both be ready to make issues better out and it ought to help you sense a lot less insecure.

2016-12-03 07:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

MAybe invite her to go to lunch,
Just you and her, or out for a drink after work.

She might be enviouse of your passive easy going nature, and wishes she could be like that. But it's not that she is concieted, it's on the contrairy actually, seems like she is REALLY self conciouse.
So bring her a ong with you sometimes, try and take her under your wing, and SHOW her how to be as passive as you.

2007-02-01 05:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 0 0

OMG That shure gets on my nerves! It also happens to me and the person that gets jealous is alot older than me, so I think that is the reason but I just don't get it. Anyhow soon I will be moved because of a promotion I got, so that will be far from me~

2007-02-01 05:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by Yo Si Y 2 · 0 0

A forthright and frank approach is best in handling the tedium of office politics. No emotion. No drama. Just say what you mean, get it out and forget it.

2007-02-01 05:23:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

It sounds like this person may be suffering from a psychological condition. Perhaps you should mention it to the manager.

2007-02-01 15:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0 0

Tell her to grow up and realize that there is a universe full of people and their lives don't revolve around her...

2007-02-01 05:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by Katie N 2 · 0 0

Are you whispering, so she couldn't hear what you are saying? I always worry when I hear whispering around me that someone is talking about me...

2007-02-01 05:33:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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