I have an 8 month old daughter and she stays with my Mother in law while my husband and I are at work. I work M-F 8-5. There is NO way we could afford for me to stay at home with her. Even if we cut back! I am gult ridden EVERYDAY and hope by the time I have another baby we will be in a better place so I can stay home. I am just getting really irratated w/ all these sahm who say that I obviously dont want to stay at home too bad b/c if I did I would find a way. Am I a bad mom?
2007-02-01 05:16:24 · 24 answers · asked by shanzy02 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No mom is better because she stays at home. We all have it hard. I stay at home, because we can afford to. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to work. I completely understand. I know that I will have to go back to work when the kids get in school and I am worried about that. (I have a teaching degree and have to bring work home, so how will I balance kids and work?) I cannot imagine having to do it now. I respect that you are doing it. We all have to do what is best for our families. It is not right or wrong. I really wish we could all just support each other's decisions and stop saying one way is better. There is no right way, just the way that works for your family.
Good Luck and best wishes.
2007-02-01 07:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by chemrose 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not a bad mother at all, it is up to you what is right for your family.
If you really want to be home with your child, is there another job you can take that would allow you more flexibility?
Can you talk to your employer about flex-time, telecommuting, or some other option that would allow you to spend more time with your daughter? Many employers are looking into this as a viable option for the workplace. There was a great article in TIME several weeks ago about this new phenomenon.
I will say that you are doing very well by your daughter in having your MIL care for her rather than some faceless daycare person. Your MIL will care for her and teach her much better and she will be able to forge a tight bond with her g-ma!
If you put your kid in a daycare, be sure to do background checks on everyone there. There is one around here where after the kid had been there for a while, we discovered that there were crackheads and various other lovely folk working there with children. Just a caution.
2007-02-01 07:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you aren't a bad mom. I am a working mom as well and I go thru this tug of war with myself everyday. If there was anyway that I could stay home with my baby boy then I would jump at the chance but I just can't as I am a single mom and his sperm donor is around to help out. I get tired of hearing about how just cuz we can't stay home that our kids are gonna end up screwed and that we shouldn't have had our kids just because we cant stay home with them. I love my son more than anything on this planet and I do whatever I have to so I can make sure that he is taken care of. SAHM and workings moms have one thing in common we are all MOM's and we love our kids. That is what everyone should focus on instead of passing judgment about someone that you don't even know them or their situation
2007-02-01 06:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're doing the best you can for your daughter and paying your own way rather than relying on benefits. You should be congratulated not slated.
I'm a sahm and I feel for those who have no option but to work sometimes the money just is not there to enable mums to stay home. I'm sure it's really hard for you.
Just ignore all the horrible comments every mothers situation is different
2007-02-01 05:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by madamspud 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are a great mom!!! ANd it is wonderful that you can keep your baby with family. You are doing what you have to do to support your child. Dont feel guilty. I am a sahm but i got very lucky in the fact that i have a hubby that will work to full times jobs so i can do so. We both make alot of sacrfice. Not to many men are willing to do the things he does. I thank go for him everyday. But he does not make me stay home if i wanted to work he would be ok with that. Just know that you are doing what is best for your child. Dont worry about what others say or think. I get stuff all the time about how my son does not get alot of time with his father and dont i feel like i am taking that away from him by not working. I just ignore it, i know that we are doing what we think is best for our family. ANd that it is diffrent for every family.
2007-02-01 05:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by coliepollie22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a 24 year old single mom and so I do not have a choice but to work a full time job. Most people who will judge do not know what it is like to be in a situation where we have no choice. That is why it is so easy for them to judge us. You give your child a roof over her head and love her and that is the most important. You should be very proud to say that you have what it takes to work and take care of a child. Any person who does not have the luxury of staying at home understands this. Keep being great parents and ignore what anybody else might have to say about it.
2007-02-01 08:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by lilbri724 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No your not at all. I am a single working mom who receives no child support at all. I have no choice but that makes me a bad selfish person? some think yes. My daughter is fine, she is 10 now. You are doing what you can and it's good that you have her with a family member, You do what you have to do and hopefully by the next baby, you can stay home, if not, trust me there are MILLIONS of working moms out there...
I find the stay at home moms on here VERY CRITICAL of working moms and single moms. Funny though, they have all day to be on the computer judging others............
2007-02-01 05:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that we as mothers do what we have to, to accomplish the same over all goal. Happy healthy kids. And that we should all cut each other a little slack. The longer we fight amongst our self's the longer it will be before SAHM's and working moms alike will get the much needed respect we all deserve.
2007-02-01 11:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by blue_eyed_brat78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
end. good there. initially enable me say that i'm quite sympathetic on your case and that i'm horribly sorry to establish issues bypass down this way, that extremely sucks. i want to first factor out that.. you're the two nonetheless youthful. so some distance as i understand, there is genuinely no longer something she ought to do to you to end you from seeing her daughter, and thats stable information for you. whether you probably did something sexual, and outstanding me if i'm incorrect, yet you weren't criminal then and once you're criminal and the age distinction of the guy who you have have been given had intercourse with is below 3 years then it must be seen statutory.. yet nonetheless. you have been 17. next, i could want to show out that even in spite of the undeniable fact that her mom is calling her names and telling her poor issues could ensue to her.. that's in her superb interest to stay at homestead till she is of criminal age to go out. She's only.. what, below 8 months removed from being 18, am I good? only be grateful that she's no longer getting beat on. i've got been a sufferer of emotional and psychological abuse, and besides the reality that that's hard, you only could be there for her so as that the abuse only makes her better. Plus, in case you document a case against her mom, who would be looking after her? Do you recognize how very hard that's to help your self, while you're no longer already? quite her mom does no longer want her around after her daughter has pressed costs on her. stable success to the two one in each and every of you<3 in case you're able to desire to chat, bypass forward and drop me a line on my e mail.
2016-11-23 20:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by blomquist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a TON of work being a stay at home mom. It is not the right choice for everyone. My wife stays at home and takes care of three boys. It was going to cost us more in daycare than what she made, so it was the right choice for us. Do I wish we had a second income....Heck Yeah. You are lucky that your Mother In Law watches your child. We live very far away from our extended family, so we don't have that opportunity. You just do what you have to do. Most moms I know are working moms. They are still good mothers to their children.
2007-02-01 05:40:30 · answer #10 · answered by David G 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋