I have a 3yr old nephew. He is the meanest child I've ever known!! He can be very sweet, but not too often. He plays for a little bit, them on a drop of a dime, he turns and he just starts beating on the other kids or even his PARENTS!! His Mother has even proclaimed that she doesn't even like her own son!! She puts in extra overtime just to stay away from him. We have ran out of options. We have taken him to therapists, but they all say he is to young to dianose with anything. So if ANYBODY has any suggestions, Please give them to me!!! I am open to anything at this point!!!! Thank you all, for ALL your help!!!!!!!!
2007-02-01 05:07:45 · 18 answers · asked by mickeysgirl_22 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for. He can see that his mom is ignoring him so he goes for the only attn offered (negative). I've seen it a hundred times parents won't discipline their kids and when they reach 2 or 3 they become convinced they just have a bad kid. It's not about being mean or harsh, It's a matter of consistency. If a kid acts up He/she should know what is coming. If not kids will constantly try to find their boundaries. Does this kid act OK around certain relatives? My sister is convinced that her kids have split personalities, when I keep them they are angels, and I don't have to punish them nearly as often as she does. If all else fails try that shock collar thing!
2007-02-01 05:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by Rusty 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In other words, the parents have planted the seeds and won't reap what they sowed. They are perpetuating the cycle.
The child is ANGRY. Working overtime just makes the problem worse not better. The child needs lots of quality time with at least 1 of the parents. Positive consequences for positive behaviour- and make sure she catches him every time he is good. For negative behaviour hold his hands down at his sides, look him in the eye- and say this is not acceptable., or time him out.
I also agree with a couple of the above posts- take him to a doctor and rule out anything physical, and also for advice. Another thing is it could be allergies-even food allergies.
2007-02-01 13:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First you have to be willing to stick through with anything you try. Second, this kid knows that certain behaviour will get the reactions he desires. He wants attention, and even negative attention is attention. His mum may not like it, but it is most likely that she contributed to his behaviour by not stopping it when it first started. Ignoring anything is acceptance.
When he starts to beat on the other kids, remove him from the situation and put him on a chair, couch, whatever place is near and explain that the type of behaviour is not acceptable. That when he acts like that he will be removed and have a time out. You can set a small timer for 5 minutes (at first), and tell him that when the timer goes off he can return.
He will fight, and here is the hard part. If he gets up, put him back. No screaming, no yelling, no fuss. Just tell him he has to have a time out, and out him back. It may take an hour of this at first, but he will give in. That is where your patience will be tried. He has to be put back each time he gets up, and the timer doesn't start until he is staying in place.
Eventually he will get the message that when he does something like that, he will be put in a time out, away from the others. After he makes his five minutes (and it will happen eventually), tell him that each time he acts out he will be removed from the group, and that it would be much better if he acted nice to everyone.
Do not tell him he is bad, but tell him that his actions are bad. That is very important.
Good luck. It will work.
2007-02-01 13:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by mtnflower43 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The kid needs dscipline but he also needs attention. That is a major cry for attention and when you have a parent that just wants to get away from you, how would that make you feel? My opinion, it is the parents who are responsible for how the kid turns out. The mother is stressed so she runs away from it? Come on! Tell her to take the child to a doctor and get advice.
Oh yeah, and just because he is not well behaved doesn't mean that he has to be diagnosed with something. I bet you anything the child is fine, he just needs a little structure.
2007-02-01 13:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by tmac 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Take him to another therapist he is NOT too young to diagnose. If there isn't a medical problem he probably just needs lots of discipline! His mom better get with the program because he will just get worse. Maybe she should take a parenting class. He needs time outs and she needs to stick to disciplining him. It will be tough but if he isn't controlled now it will get worse.
2007-02-01 15:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This child is obviously being neglected from discipline. I don't care how he's disciplined whether it's a spanking or taking his stuff away and making him stand in the corner, either way this kid needs something other than just being told so. Also, the mother should really be there for her child. He's only 3! He needs his mother and needs the attention only a mother can give.
2007-02-01 13:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by Carrie 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all i think you guys are the ones that need more help than the little boy because how are you guys not going to be able to control a 3 year old? Well i think that his parents dont pay enough attention to him so he acts up to get the attention he is looking for!!!!!!!!
2007-02-01 15:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by DoRa + BoOtS 4 eVeR!!!!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mother needs to discipline her child and show love equally. maybe after a time out she can hug him and say i love u. she needs to be consistant. she needs to stop thinking negatively about him.
i know this very sweet woman with two mean kids. i can see where her error is which is she is not assertive with them and lets them off very easily. i have never said this about a kid but i hate her kids. i can't stand to be around them. i don't leave my son alone with her kids because the 9 year old girl punched my sonreally hard in the stomach 1 month ago.
2007-02-01 13:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by Miki 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
And let me guess, he rarely got spanked? Some times time-outs don't work for some kids. Sometimes thier punishment has to actually hurt them (within reason of course) to make them not want to do somthing. And if he gets diagnosed with somthing called ODD, all that is is a label for bad parenting. In my opinion.
2007-02-01 13:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He needs his mother to provide some firm disipline which she could do if she was around more and had the energy after working all day to do it. Just keep firm and nip this right now before he gets too big to control.
2007-02-01 14:51:38 · answer #10 · answered by babypocket2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋