I have a co-worker who I really don't care for. He lives in S - a small town, and I live in M - a larger city nearby. He wants to go visit some friends in P, and there is a bus that goes from M to P. He wants to know if he can crash on my couch at my house in M so he can catch the bus in the morning to go to P. He doesn't have a car. I really don't want him at my house like...EVER. How do I gracefully bow out? Not just this time, but everytime from now on, because I know he will ask again. He had been crashing on another co-worker's couch, but she's kind of burned out from him too (he has a draining personality). Keep in mind that this isn't your normal office - it's a small performing arts facility where we are more like family than co-workers.
2007-02-01 05:06:33 · 20 answers · asked by GroovyGirl623 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I live with my boyfriend and my co-worker is homosexual.
2007-02-01 05:29:01 · update #1
how would he get from S to M in the first place without a car?
ask him to have that person take him to M in the morning to catch the bus.
offer to take him from S to M yourself, but if you don't want him in your home, you probably don't want him in your car, either.
tell him you are a freak about having people in your home. or staying more than a couple of hours. that's the truth about my husband. even his dad will call first and only stay about 20 minutes at a time - and he's old and lives about an hour away on a major highway!
2007-02-01 05:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a sponge and will take everything he can get.
Tell him that you don't want to set a precedent and that you say no to everyone, not just him, because your life is so busy you never know when and where you are going to be on any day. So sorry.
Or, don't be nice , and say no, I don't need the hassle.. Since you don't want him in your house ....EVER, why the soft touch? Maybe he needs to be told he is obnoxious and a drain. Some people can only handle the direct approach and hints don't work.
Good luck.
2007-02-01 13:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by P.A.M. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes this is a tough one, especially if your in a work environment where the co-workers are more like family.
If you are living alone, maybe tell him you are not comfortable with having a man sleeping in your home, nothing personal.
You can even tell him you have refused other friends in the same manor because your uneasy about the idea.
This way, maybe he won't ask again. Good Luck.
2007-02-01 13:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by katy k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that guy, well OK not really, but a guy exactly like him.
I'd suggest "oh I couldn't my parents would have a fit", which while somewhat odd for an adult to say, is not that uncommon, and has the added benefit that there is no comeback, it is after all not you saying no, its your parents.
You could also alternatively blame the landlord, a pet, thin walls neighbors, boyfriends ... the key is they said no, not you,
whatever you do, DON'T LET HIM STAY, or he'll be over every third week
2007-02-01 13:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a few excuses:
a) I live with my incontinent Granmother, who sleeps on my bed, and I sleep on the couch.
b) Your jealousboyfriend likes to pop over now and then, and would be upset if he found another man there.
c) Simply no, if you dont like the guy, you dont want to make him think he can get close to you.
To be honest, this guy sounds like an *** and he was using your friend and therefore doesn't really deserve to be let down gently... so c) is a good answer.
2007-02-01 13:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by Pedro Sanchez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't have the room, your bf is sick, your parents are visiting, you are painting, whatever. Don't tell anyone else that it isn't the truth. After 5-6 times he'll get the point and stop asking. You must have a good reason to not want this person in your house, stick to it.
2007-02-01 13:52:36 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you regard your home as your personal space - a place you keep separate from your work. Tell him there is no slight intended, but it is a rule you've made and never brake. Work is work and home is home.
I faced a similar situation a few years back. A tradition of summer barbeques started with each of my colleagues taking it in turn to host one. I was then asked when I was hosting mine. I told them I would not be hosting any barbeque for work colleagues and gave the explanation above. No-one was particularly put out about it
2007-02-01 13:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the people who have said "just say no." I used to feel it was necessary to give every excuse in the book when I didn't want to do something, but really, all people need to know is "no." It's none of their business what your reasons are. If he is so rude as to ask why, and you have the guts, tell him not to worry about your reasons. If you can't do that, tell him you just prefer not to have guests in your home overnight.
2007-02-01 13:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by Katie L 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him....say look....this has nothing to do with you personally....but I am not comfortable with you crashing at my place. Sorry. Hope we can still work together on good terms. Period. Don't be afraid to take control of your own life...it is your life. Personally I don't think you should have to explain or defend your position. Just say it with a smile, using your normal voice, and that should be good enough.
2007-02-01 13:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the need to explain why you must decline. . .try something like that--
"I would like to help you, but my (boyfriend, ex-husband, parents, roommate, neighbours, and so on--what ever excuse you feel comfortable with) might misunderstand your presence in my place and cause complications neither of us needs."
By the way this is the truth (complications) so you'll not lie!
I hope it works for you. Good luck.
2007-02-01 13:18:39 · answer #10 · answered by wheniek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋