how do u discipline teenagers?

Question

my kids are 13, 12 and 6. they are good children and great students, but they are not cleaning up after there mess. my man gets mad and says they don't have repect, i feel they are wonderful kids and don't care what he thinks, he feels that the two older ones, should be cleaning the house everyday after school and i disagree, what do u think.

they are my three kids, if my man touched them he would have issues.

Answer 1

Kids should be aloud to be kids...

Job #1... Homework... & School

and the 13 and 12 year old could have some jobs... chores... but they are not there to be servants... the 6 year old could have a job like setting the table...

You are a family and everyone should pitch in... that is the message... you are the MOM you do what you think is best...

Answer 2

All kids should know the basics of cleaning and should be able to contribute something to the household. Unfortunately most kids hate cleaning or do it quickly requiring you to either do it yourself or keep nagging them until they get it right. It all depends on how much energy your willing to shell out to keep them on the same track.
Start off slow and get them to put their stuff away, then add things like take out the garbage, dishes, supper clean up, making supper once a week, cleaning the living room, sweeping, dusting etc. Make things reasonable and offer rewards the odd time (pizza night, movies, an outing, allow a friend to stay over......etc) just to get them motivated (not money though, they'll just quit after awhile).
I have two teens (15 & 17), they know the basics but are still reminded to clean up however, they both have jobs after school so I really don't sweat the small stuff (it's not that big a deal some days). Good luck.

Answer 3

I wouldn't say that have to clean the house everyday or anything that drastic, but I do believe in chores teaching responsibility and time management. Give your children lists of what they are expected to do each day, week, month, whatever, and make sure they follow them. If a chore is not completed and for no good reason (i.e. going to a friend's house, watching TV, goofing off, etc.) then there should be consequences: lost privileges, groundings, etc.

My parents raised me like this and I think I turned out just fine. I'm inherently lazy, but chores have definitely helped me. My parents always left my brother and me a list of chores that they expected us to have completed by the time they returned home. We knew we would be punished if we didn't complete them and also knew that our only excuse was that we had too much homework. That being the case, we were only allowed to work on homework until either it was completed or we finished the chores. Makes sense to me!

Good luck with your kids!

~~Nao

Answer 4

Teaching kids responsibilty at home is a good thing. Assigning your kids chores is a good idea--they will learn to take care of themselves and learn responsibilty. The lessons learned in the home carry over to school and life. If you give your kids responsibilites at home, they will learn that there are no reponsibilites in life. Do you want you kids to be adults that don't know how to wash their own clothes, do dishes, keep their own houses clean, or live on a budget? Come on Mom--step up and parent your kids. They might be wonderful, but even wonderful kids should have responsibility.

Answer 5

First off his opinion doesn't matter unless he is there stepfather. He's not so if he wants to complain put him to work. But as for your children they should be responsable for their own messes and rotate the cleaning of common areas they all use. If they refuse start off with resticting them from the things they do like or find important in their life. The sooner the better. Practice makes perfect. The respect only comes into play if they don't do it after you told them to. And be consistant so they don't slack off. Anything they receive from you besides food, shelter, and clothes is not a nessesity. And what ever they can't earn is not something they need. That goes for T.V. time, Computer time, Electronics, Etc...

Answer 6

I have a 11 and 14 year old girls.....and I have the same problem...there is no right answer. I put rules on my oldest, and she did not like them....so she ran to "daddy"...so where did that leave me??? BUT they DO need dicipline and chores. Thye need to pick up after themselves and when you ask for help on your daily chores they should pitch in with out complaining
But lets get real here.....that is what we WANT...not how our kids act. I just know that when I was a kid, and if I would act HALF as bad as kids nowadays, I woulda got my @$$ beat! So I hope this helps you, knowing that you are not alone out there. I wish you luck, and please wish me luck for the next 7 or 8 years!!!
God Bless you!

Answer 7

WHAT I THINK: The first (5) five years we should be taught by our mother. The second (5) five years we should be taught by our father with mothers guidence. The next (5) years we should be taught by society with mother & father guidence. The next (5) years we should be taught by society (we are on our own).

With this being said, if someone fail to get across life lessons in the time frame that it should occur, the person will suffer the failure. It is a roll of a father to teach and motivate his young children to do those things that they should do to take care of themselves. This is in conflic with the womans role which is mothering. Our children need to develop independence as soon as possible. This statement does not mean that they should be totally independent. It only mean that they should learn to do as much for themselves as they can as soon as possible.

Once the role of a father is done, society (community ) comes in with its rules. These are things that our children need to lissen to, for their good and the good of others. There are those of us that have not learned from our mothers or fathers that we are to work for a living. We believe that work is a choice and we can if we want to or don't if we want to. Those who think like this are surprised that they don't have the things that they think everyone should have. The rules are simple and we need to teach so that our off-springs will not find themselves wondering how they got the way they find themselves.

Answer 8

If you have good kids... I would do anything to drastic to disturb that.

I do think that making them responsible for some household chores is completely fair... and a must. One day these kids are going to be on their own, and will need to know how to cook and clean for themselves.

Come up with a few chores that they can each be responsible for for the week... vacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, laundry, etc. Switch who is responsible for what each week..... this is not a form of disipline... this is teaching them how to be adults!!

As for disipline... take away something that's important to them... computer priviliges, cell phone, night out with friends, etc.

Answer 9

Your kids need to clean up after themselves at a bare minimum. They should have chores. They don't respect you, sorry to say it. You're not a slave. You're their mother. You're not around to clean up after their every little mess, you're there to teach them how to be adults. You are not doing this. Cleaning up after yourself is part of being an adult. Unfortunatly it's probably going to be pretty difficult to get them to pick up chores now.

Answer 10

If they are your children and not his then it is none of his business. I do believe that children should have chores, but it shouldn't only be their responsibility to keep your house clean. Your "man" needs a reality check.