When single, or any underaged, girls have their babies, is it fair to the grandparents for the babies to become their responsibilities? [and we can forget the irresponsible boys in this, right?] I do not mean during an ocassional weekend, I mean full-time.
I'm over the hill, but history shows that so many who have children when very young, and not married, tend to dump the kids on the grandparents because they "ain't got time" to bother with them.
Is this fair? The GrParents already gave it all for their children, now they have to give it all again for the grandchildren?
No wonder other nations/cultures have a low view of us in general. We can't even take care of our own but expect someone else to do it for us.
2007-02-01 04:56:03 · 14 answers · asked by donkey hotay 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Depends on your definition of "fair." What's fair to the Grandparent is totally different than what may be fair to the mother and most importantly the child. The real issue is what can society do to convince under aged women from having children that they cannot or do not want to raise. Once the child is born, the question becomes "what is best for the child?" Thus we have grandparents and at times great grandparents raising kids. As the parent of two young daughters, I am concerned about this trend. We are working hard to raise daughters who understand the consequences and take responsibility for their actions. We also are raising children grounded in faith. To often children today to not have structure in their upraising and are influenced by too many negative influences (i.e. Britney Spears). Children need to be informed the realities in life once they are old enough to understand them.
2007-02-01 05:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by spang_run 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not fair. But the grandparents that are raising their grandchildren need an applause. Most the kids that are being raised by their grandparents are there because it is the best place for them. They are better off there than with their parents.
But should we be asking what is fair of the grandparent? What about what is fair for the child? Is it fair for that child to be in a home where it is being neglected or in a home were it will be loved and taken good care of?
2007-02-01 05:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not fair. But the grandparents are letting this happen. They don't HAVE to care for the baby. They just WANT to, even if they really don't want to. No one says that they have to do this. And in many states, grandparents don't have any rights to their grandchild, so there is often a process to become a legal guardian to the kid(s). If the grandparent doesn't want to raise the child(ren), there are plenty of opportunities to say so.
2007-02-01 05:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by happymommy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think that it is fair, unless the grandparents want to see the kid a lot. Im 20 and my parents love to have my daughter over and have her spend the night, but i have never once asked them to babysit, they always ask if they can. So therefore, if the grandparents dont want the responsibility then they should just say no sorry i cant babysit/ect. There is a big difference in helping out and just taking over.
2007-02-01 05:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by meg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is raise your DAUGHTER to understand that sex leads to babies. No matter what people/boys/media tells them. If you have sex, you will get pregnant. Abstinence is the only way to guarantee you will not. Then teach them about responsibility. Their children are NOT my responsibility. If they so choose to act in that manner, they will take responsibility for their actions. I will make sure they do.
I have no problem with babysitting part time. Weekends would be great. More than that is not my problem. I guess that makes me sound cold. I already stayed home and raised my children. I am looking forward to mine being grown so I can buy nice furniture, take a cruise ALONE WITH HUBBY if I wish, take a dance class and not have to worry where they are. I have things to do. :)
2007-02-01 05:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not fair at all if you have a baby before you are ready you should suck it up and deal with it by doing the best you can...make time....but i feel sorry for you if you are in this situation...my mom dumped us off on my grandparents but do not blame the children as they will love you for it later and they will appreciate you for the rest of their lives and they will remember that their mom was not there and who was
2007-02-01 05:03:07 · answer #6 · answered by LUCKYGIRL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its not fair. However i would rather take care of them then to know they were neglected by their moms and dads.
Sad thing is your raising them, some have to strugle since they are on a fixed income , while thier mom gets welfare for them, sells the food stamps for drugs, or clothes .
And dont help the grandparents they feel its owed to them. It is totally unfair.
2007-02-01 05:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by tammer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Grandparents need to learn how to say NO! The Grandchildren are not your responsibility.
2007-02-01 05:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by Urchin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not my personal opinion but the opinion of so many others--if the grandparents had done a better job with their own child then the child wouldn't have ended up a pregnant teen in the first place.
2007-02-01 05:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I suppose it depends on the circumstances. When i had my first baby I was 18, I was in college and working part time. Yes, my parents (who we lived with) took care of my son while I was doing all this. But we discussed it before my son was even born, and they were willing to help me out. If they hadn't been I would probably have put him up for adoption.
Teens who dump their kids on their parents to go out partying, I agree, it's not fair and it's not right, but consider all possible circumstances before you go lumping together all teen parents whose own parents care for their children.
2007-02-01 05:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by tabithap 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋