Is a good father one who simply gives money?

Question

I lost my mother early in life, before I was a teenager. My father works hard but he had never spent time with me to tell me what to do with high school issues, when I was at that age. Eventually when I did grow up, I had to figure out everything myself and he does not talk or spend much time. He tends to be a quiet person so maybe that's the reason.
But he has failed me in one big area and left me in financial ruins because he did not keep up on his word.
In my life till now, my father had simply been someone who would hand out the money when I needed it but never finding out about any emotional needs I might have or other issues. He also told me he actually never wanted kids, it was my deceased mother's decision and he simply went along since he wanted to be with her.
After she left, he was more quiet than before. When she had been around there was still some family outings, talking etc.

Answer 1

Obviously not.

Money is not a relationship and money without relationship usually leads to being spoiled, yet deprived.

Looks like you have to find your own way. Work hard, play hard, take responsibility for yourself your life is what you make it. Chase enough rabbits and eventually you catch one. that is what my dad taught me

the rabbits fairly obviously were dreams and ambitions

Answer 2

SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR GRIEF WITH YOUR FATHER: Please remember the male human survives by disconnecting from everything as soon as possible. It is this disconnection that keep us from running into danger and think our way through problems.

We are dependent on our mothers, wives, children to pull us back to wholeness. The more we interact with other males, the worse we get. If we don't form a strong bond with our mother, if our wives are not insistent that we do things, and if our children are preoccupied with their own life, we may fall victim to coldness. This is helpful in the business and work world but is bad of the life of our relatives. This is a lesson that many men learn only after they have hurt someone so deeply that the person does not want anything to do with them.

Answer 3

It sounds like you are an adult now. If so it is time for you to quit dwelling on the past and blaming everything that is going wrong in your life now on how your Father treated you in the past. God gave you a brain and the ability to make choices in your life. It is time to educate yourself on how to take care of yourself financially and how not to depend on someone else to take care of you. I have 2 nieces raised in the same home by 2 alcoholic and at times abusive parents to each other and sometimes to these girls. One made a choice to get in with a good group of kids at her school and got involved in a church. She left home for college at 18 and never looked back at how hard she had it but just became determined that she would do something right for herself and not continue in her parents foot steps. She now has a degree in education and is a wonderful Teacher. The other, her sister insisted on walloring in self pity and "woe is me" attitude. She became involved with gangs even when her sister tried to get her into her church groups. She got in trouble with the law and always used the excuse that it was her parents fault, all her problems were blamed on them. She ended up unwed, and pregnant and living a miserable life because she could not make a transition from feeling sorry for herself because of the way she was raised. You have the choice and the ability to make your life the way you want it as an adult. Make your Choice!

Answer 4

No. My example is of my grandparents, who are all now deceased.
My father's parents always gave money at birthdays and Christmas, so I would just buy something that I wouldn't spend my money on.
My mother's parents gave gifts, not money. But, they also spent TONS of time with me. While my dad was at work this grandfather taught me how to ride a bike w/o training wheels, would shoot hoops with me, etc. My grandmother always paid games with me and anytime we would leave she would always say "Remember, grandma loves you." They took me on trips and let me spend the night at their home many times during the summers.
Needless to say my favorite grandparents are my mom's parents. And I've never forgotten my grandma telling me she loved me. As for the father's grandparents, I would have rather had the time together than them trying to buy my love. I don't really have many memories of them.

Answer 5

No. Surely not. A good father is not only one who gives out money at the time of need, but also gives emotional support and backup. He should be a source of comfort for the child, not a source of money alone.

I'm sorry to hear your situation. But don't worry, the world out there doesn't begin and end at your father. There's much, much and much out there to learn, to compete and then finally win. Remember you are never alone, atleast, your shadow remains with you... Good luck :-)

Answer 6

Sounds like you have alot of issues to work out. But sometimes the issues are with you . As we grow up we expect people to act a certain way and when they don't we have issues. We forget that society isn't always right. People are aloud to be and act any way they please, no matter how pi**ed off we get. So its up to us on how we take their actions. We can either accept them the way they are and love them anyway or move on without them in our life. Simple and not alot to think about. Life is too short.

Answer 7

A good father is there for a child. Money is easy to give.

Obviously, your father was such an unhappy person that he couldn't provide any positive experiences for you or for himself.

While this is a great hardship, we can forgive anything and move beyond all hurts we endure in our youth. This needn't make it impossible for you to have a good, happy family life of your own in the future.

Answer 8

no I would not say he's the best dad, but maybe there's something in his past that makes it hard for him to be a better person, not just a father. If you can get him to talk about his past, it might help you understand him better. my dad never had good parenting, but he knew it and with my mom's help, he was a good dad.

Answer 9

I know how you feel! My father has never been there for me~ not even financially. Your supposed to talk to your kids, spend time with them, help them with their problems (and their homework), and be a shoulder for them to cry on! But alot of parents don't get that!

Answer 10

SEE A THERAPIST SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED IT