how can i calm my son down when i drop him off at daycare?

Question

When i drop him off he cries and sometimes kicks and throws himself to the floor what should i do in a calm matter?

Answer 1

All children will do this-some more than others or longer than others. Get a routine going. My son changed day care recently and the switch is hard. We have a routine now-we get up and I say "school day" and we have certain things we do at home -eat, dress, get lunch ready, get teddy ready. We talk about mommy and daddy working and him going to school. I ask who he sees at school and what they do. He is a toddler so I don't get much answer wise but it gets him ready for the day. We drive to school and sing songs and when we are a block away I say "oh my it's school time". We go in and put things in his cubby, put lunch in the fridge, and I tell him what he has for lunch, what children I see at school today and ask him to find his teacher. I give him a kiss and tell him I will see you soon and leave. His teacher usually can hold him up to the window to wave by to me-if he isn't busy playing by then. I know it is tough when they get upset at you leaving, but having lived through it recently-I can say it gets better. Good luck!
---And this is not a sign of an issue at day care unless you have other clear cut signs. Young children are indivduals, they don't all thrive in the same setting. If your child is truely overwhelmed by the chaos and comotion that often go with a large group setting (my child loves to observe and jump in-he enjoys the activity level a center offers) then maybe a smaller home day care setting is better. Give your child time to adjust. Talk to the teachers. Go back one day and observe the situation from a vantage point where the child can't see you. I think you will likely find that, after you leave, your child settles down in a few minutes and goes on with the biz of playing and having fun.

Answer 2

I worked in daycare for 10 years- kids do that from time to time. It could be any reason- not feeling well, not getting enough sleep, any changes at home, etc. Or it could be a phase. I think that Dad taking them could be a good idea, somtimes a little change makes a big difference! Because she is so young and cant talk well, i would talk to her teacher and maybe the director of the center and make sure they keep an eye on her. Maybe suggest she be moved to another classroom for a few days and see if that makes a difference- maybe her and the teacher dont get along very well. Kids have opinions too, and they dont always like everyone they meet! Or maybe when she's upset her big brother could stay w/her for a few mins until you leave? Good luck!

Answer 3

I worked in daycare for years and honestly, i know this hard, but the best thing to do is to just leave . Tell him you love him and you will see him in a little while. His teachers will take care of him and the longer you stay, the longer he will cry. Try to make drop off time as quick as possible. Is tehre a window that he can go to and wave to you out the window? That works sometimes. I am a mother too and i know it hurts to see your child cry. I used to dropped my son off and if he was crying i would stand outside the door and listen to see how long it took him to calm down and if the teachers were trying to comfort him or distract. It usually took a minute or less. They put on a show for us, that's all. Of course if the teachers just let him cry and ignore him i wouldn't be very happy with that. Good Luck

Answer 4

What worked for me was to have no emotion showing on my face when I drop my son off. He starts having a fit while we're still in the car in the parking lot but I don't say anything, I don't smile or frown, I just have a "poker-face." Sounds kinda mean, but it's the only way he goes in without a total meltdown...I'm not sure why and he is perfectly fine when I pick him up. So try it, start with taking him out of the car and when he kicks and throws himself down, just pick him back up without saying or having any facial response....Good luck! It's heartbreaking to see them like that, I know!

Answer 5

This is a common reaction of young
children. They are usually feeding off
your energy. You may have guilt about
having to leave your child. It's not easy
to leave your child, even with people you
know really well. The more intelligent
the child, the better they can read you.
Therefore more kicking and screaming,
because they are not yet able to express
themselves vocally.
I bet your daycare provider says, that the
minute you leave the child is fine. You
should trust that they are and relax.
The better you feel about it, the better
your child will act. It takes a little time.

Answer 6

Drop him off, kiss him goodbye. Tell him you love him and you will be back at ______ time. Then leave. Day care people know how to handle this. They see it all the time. A minute after you go, he is fine and having fun. When you stay to calm him down, he gets what he wants; you fawning all over him. And you inadvertently tell him, "see, there really IS something to worry about." When you go, you tell him, "I am confident that you are well cared for." If you want to see him in school, stay for a minute when picking him up. Then you can ask him to show you all the things he did that day.

Answer 7

The hardest thing for a parent is to leave your child while they are crying. It is very hard for me. My daughter went to daycare for a year and she still would cry when i left. Children don't like there parents to leave. I reassured her that i was comming back to get her. Ask the teacher if theres any friends that he enjoys playing with at daycare. Getting him interacting in activies before you leave he might just not notice you slip out the door. Saying Goodbye before getting in to daycare helps to.
Hope this helps Good luck.

Answer 8

I would say that this is a sign of some underlying problem at the day care. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him there if he isn't happy being there. Does he do this when you leave him anywhere else? If not I would think something is going on at the daycare that your son doesn't like.

Answer 9

Leave him. My youngest son did this also......but the daycare providers at the center had seen it a million times before; they told me to hug him, smile and say goodbye....then leave. Just walk away and dont look back. Many times children put on a "performance " just for you......I did as I was told and watched in amazement ( on closed circuit TV ) as my child stopped crying and when to play within 5 minutes of losing sight of me. Your child is fine.....you must be brave for him !

Answer 10

Not too much. Because he's going through separation anxiety. Which means that some times kids get panicked because they don't know mentally if you're coming back so they think if you leave it's permanent. But what you could do is play hide and seek,to teach him that just because you disappear that doesn't mean you're gone completely. But all kids go through it, and it is something that they have to sort out themselves. Usually about 30 minutes later they'll get over it and play, but if he doesn't then your daycare provider might make him leave.... I would ask your pediatrician what to do if there is anything... good luck girl.