okay me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. we're very serious and close to each other. well, we're moving to florida for school this year and we already have future plans. we never fight, and are always laughing together. he loves me more than anything and so do i. but some of my family keeps telling me we're going to have problems when we move. because we're going to be working and going to school, my mom said it's going to cause problems. and now i'm worried about everything that could happen. my boyfriend tells me he could never leave me and he loves me way too much to even think about it. he promises me that we're going to be okay... and i know for a fact i couldn't go 15 mnths without seeing him while he's gone! so could someone give me some advice that would help ease my nerves? or knows from experience? i would appreciate it so much... i just love him so much and others are filling my head with the worst! please help?
2007-02-01 04:23:42 · 17 answers · asked by Crysi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh and by the way, my mom really doesn't want me going anyways... i guess cuz i'm the youngest and she doesn't want me leaving. she said she wants me to be happy and get my education but i know she's not crazy about me moving... but i just wanna be happy with the guy i'm head over heels in love with...
2007-02-01 04:24:02 · update #1
i think you should go with your boyfriend...finding love like that is hard to find trust me...if you both really love each other and want to be together you can definitely make it work with school and if both of you are working...also your family could be telling you your going to have problems because of your mom not wanting you to go...shes going to have to let you go sometime and letting you go to be with someone you love seems like a good reason to me....just keep communicating in your relationship and make sure you make some time for each other even if its 1-2 times a week...its worth it!
2007-02-01 04:34:20 · answer #1 · answered by bob123456789 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you both going to be going to school in Florida ????
Are you both going to be working?
I hope he is not going to school while you work and not go to school.........
If both are going to school and working, it will not leave alot of time together.
Yes there will be a shift in setting up your own place, being responsible to pay rent and so on,
every situation has good and bad about it.
For someone to dwell on only the negative is not fair to you......
There are going to be good things also.
Living together will have its ups and downs, no matter how well you get on.
It is hard to share your space with a bf/gf, cause you see all their flaws and visa versa.
Your mom is worried about the money problems that cause rifts between people.
I'm doing more, I'm paying more, why don't you clean up more, why don't you do the dishes..... These are all situations that will rear their ugly little heads in every live in relationship.
If you two can set ground rules from the beginning and stick to them, then it should be more peaceful, but remember to take off your rose coloured glasses, cause like isn't a bowl of cherries.
Set down specific jobs and put it on paper in full view so that there is no question about who is supposed to do what....
One person should not be doing everything.... they could be taken advantage of......
You have to be mature enough to accept what you can't change and let it go.
As mom said , you should be going to school and giving it your all, education gets you a job, nothing else now a days...
It is the most important thing you can do for yourself and not let anything get in the way....
I can undertand her fears... she is only trying to protect you and that is her job as a mom.
You need to relax and calm down.
Life is full of surprises, if you are not happy once you are there, you make another decision and come home.
If things go badly, you always have mom with her open arms for you waiting.
If things ae great, you will make mom proud by showing her how responsible and mature you really are and her fears were unfounded.
It is very difficult for anyone to fly the nest, but perhaps this is your time to test your wings.
Don't try to create problems before they arise, negative thoughts are not what you want to accompany you on your first flight.......
Good luck and take things as they come
2007-02-01 12:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if u really wanna go, just go. But keep in mind that, all men tend to see their girlfriends as their substitute mothers, when their mothers are way. By that i dont mean anything tragic, just that he probably expects his clothes clean and ironed, food on the table and so on. Think that if u 2 are living together, u will also have to act as sort of a 'housewife' for him. Plus, men are just like babies, he will come to you and ask you for every little thing 'where are my socks, where are the coffee mugs, etc' The best thing to do would be to set up a schedule for housework from the beginning and divide the chores. Dont let urself being dragged into doing things for him that he would normally do for himself. I dont know what his habits are like, (cleanliness, tidiness etc) but if u two have a good relationship (which sounds like u do!) u should be able to talk through arguments that might come up, rather than fight. Its no big deal. I live at my bf's house 3 months every year, during summer, im 22 btw, i know its not the same, but we both work and pay for the house and food and share one car. Its tough at first because its very personal all the time, (think bathroom issues) but it's worth it. Its amazing how close u will come to one another and u also end up falling in love with the pther person more ;-) at least i did...
2007-02-01 12:39:23 · answer #3 · answered by alkoulaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you said that is worrysum is that you THINK you couldn't go 15 months without seeing him! You are just pain wrong there and you know it, you life won't end if you don't get to see him! It's not healthy to attach yourself to someone like that! As far as you and he having problems, you will, just like everyone elese on this planet. Working, school, and getting used to each other is all stressful, so yes, you will have problems. Doesn't mean it won't work out, just means you will have a normal relationship with normal relationship problems. Quit worrying and enjoy your new journey, best of luck!
2007-02-01 12:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from experience ( I moved down to florida to be with my boyfriend and am now going to school full time and working full time) its not easy. And you will find yourself fighting with him over the silliest things, because its just a hard and frustrating time. But if you guys love each other, it'll work out. We are still together (3.5 years later). You just have to make the decision that you are going to work at the relationship and that breaking up isn't the answer. But trust me its hard, very hard. Just trust your heart and things will work out.
Good luck and take care.
2007-02-01 12:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All can say is that you only live once, so live your life how you see fit. No matter what you do someone will object. You can't live to satisfy other, if you do, you will never be happy. Relationships are something that can only be decided by you. If it doesn't work, learn form it. If it does wonderful. But do know it will be an adjustment, so if you and your boyfriend are willing to work at it, when things get hard, than you all will be okay.
2007-02-01 12:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Momma of 4mth old Boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both of you are young and moving to Florida, your little romance is over, there are a lot of good looking women here, everyone dresses as if looking to be fornicated and they're all sluts. But don't worry, you will find also many stupid "dudes" willing to fornicate with you aswell only to enhance their list, after which, you're supposed to move on onto the next dude if you wish to be fornicated again.
2007-02-01 12:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should go. don't listen to what people have to say. yes it's ur mom, but she's just being protective. it's a great thing ur doing, moving and going to college. think as an adventure. and besides u and ur bf will be fine together. if you made the decision of going together its because u don't think of being apart anyways. good luck!
2007-02-01 12:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're relationship will change once you do move. How it changes is up to the two of you. Living together brings in a whole new perspective in how the two of you will be. Remember to communciate and compromise.
2007-02-01 12:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your education going. When you're older, it's much, much harder to finish college. The relationship should be secondary until then. It's a gift that you'll be giving to each other.
2007-02-01 12:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋