Advice Plz?

Question

It seems that everytime my dad gets drunk im his target , i can just be sittin on the couch chillen then all a sudden he starts yelling at me , telling me that im Stupid and im a fake , im a sorry person, and im just like my mother. I sometimes yell back at him telling him he only tryin to blame me for his own problems cause he cant blame himself . which is true but i just cant understand why he is tryin to ruin me , Im there for him when him and his girlfriend are havin bad times and he also expects me to be mad at her when he is and when he is happy he expects me to be happy too. I told him that im not like him he's a rollercoaster always going up and down and playin stupid games. I tried talkin to him tellin him how i felt but he just laughs at me like im a joke , i feel that sometimes he doesnt even to try to understand me and i dont think he can . Why is he pushing me away? callin me names and making me feel low ? I dont want to ruin our father and daughter relationship .?

Answer 1

Beat the sh*it out of him next time he talks to you disrespectfully. It's OK. Drunks can't feel pain.

Answer 2

Your father is being abusive and unfair. This is the result of his alcohol addiction - it makes him destroy all the good things in his life because deep down, he feels he doesn't deserve anything good. You don't have to worry about "ruining" your relationship, because he has already done that - he has let his disease come between you.

This is beyond your power to heal - your father needs to go into rehab and change his life around. You can encourage him to go, and give him all the information about how and where the nearest Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is, stuff like that, but ultimately he needs to do the work.

In the meantime, there is no reason you should stay around to be mentally and emotionally abused, and to be a target for any potential physical abuse in the future. If you're over 18, move out immediately. If you're a minor, call the police or Family & Children's services, and report to them about your father's drinking and abuse. They will try to get you into a safer and more nuturing environment, probably with a more reliable family member. DON'T WAIT, do this right now.
Stay safe and take care of yourself.

Answer 3

Are you under or over 18? I suggest you get away from him as soon as you can. You say you don't want to ruin the relationship you have with him? Well, he obviously doesn't care about the one he has with you, or else he wouldn't be treating you like that right? He needs to dry out, and take responsiblilty for his abusive behavior, and that won't happen until he hits rock bottom, if ever. So I suggest you remove yourself from the situation, and hopefully your relationship with him can survive. I survived an alcoholic father. But I was fortunate in one respect, the bastard died when i was six. Good luck dear.

Answer 4

For starters dont yell back at him it will only make the drunk worse and second drunks target others because they cant blame themselves for there own failures. Its not u that has the problem they do so please try not to let it get u down i know it isnt easy i have lived with a drunk and as kids we just stayed out of the way.

Answer 5

Drunks are that way because they can't handle who they are. So they throw a big ole' pity party and blame everybody else for their problems. I don't know how old you are or if you can get out of this situation without help.
But I am telling you now, he will NOT stop until he is given no other option. He will continue to drink and abuse you, because he honestly believes he is the victim. He has already ruined your relationship. It is up to you if it is repairable or not, but DO not try to repair it until he has gotten his head out of his butt.
He has the problem, don't let him make it yours.
He makes you feel low, because Misery loves company.
By not doing anything you are telling him to continue hurting you.
Get out now, father or not, he is screwed up and needs to get his act together.

Answer 6

How old are you?
Don't worry about ruining your relationship - he is doing it!
Get out. Move on with your life. Do you have somewhere to go? This is only going to create hurt & sorrow for you. Maybe leaving for a while would make him wake up. Explain how you feel, put it in a note so he don't try to stop you. This is abuse. You may get hurt. Good luck.

Answer 7

Hey Sparkle, you didn't get that name by being a dull penny.
I can tell you believe that you are better than your father says you are. If you can bounce off his words without effecting you and insist that it is alcohol than that might help. But if abuse gets worst then seek outside help.
You father needs more help than you, but he isn't picking himself up-he needs to make up his own mind.
Having a parent that is having trouble makes you feel alone, it's not fair. Seek support from school or maybe a church, the YWCA.

Answer 8

Hi,sorry you seem to be having a bad time.
Been through it with my dad a few yrs ago and we still don't see eye to eye.His excuse was,when aproached many yrs later was that he was worried for me as my actions reminded him of himself at my age.BS.He just never had anyone to take his trouble out on.We hardly talk now,still waiting for the apology...
I hope your fathers not the same.Bear it out,take youself away from those situations and don't ever let him eat away at your selfesteem.
Be strong...
Goodluck...

Answer 9

honey, its not your fault that he treats you bad....my mom had an alcoholic father, (my grandpa) he used to abuse her mentally and physically, he used to call her stupid and all that, he is still abusing you if he is doing it mentally. You should try to get away from him, i know it will be hard because he is your dad, but you need to move in with an aunt or uncle or cousin, or maybe your grandparents...where is your mom? can you live with her? You really shouldnt be in an enviornment like that its not healthy and its gonna screw up your head for life. Please get out. Go somewhere SAFE where you will be treated with LOVE and RESPECT.

Answer 10

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