muslim ladies help please.?

Question

iam with a pakistani man. he is so annoying, he expects me to give him service all the time. i work full time, have 3 kids, and all he does is bother me to clean, cook, and serve him, is this normal.what can i do. i have tried to satify all his needs, but he still acts like a jerk. also he always goes out with his friends, but won't give me permission to go out with friends, what can i do.

not married, engaged and we live together for six months.

i did punch him in the mouth, but he hit me back,

iam not muslim, iam catholic

Answer 1

first of all r u Muslim because Muslim and Pakistani are very different they are bought up different to think differently not meny pps no that there lifestyle is different. i grew up around Pakistani pps we was the only English pps in the street and i noticed the men wud always be ordering there women around. they served them. one of my best friend is Muslim and so is her husband he dont make her do anythin she dont want to do infact he stays at home and looks after the kids because she wants to work she is free thinking and can do an wear what she wants and dont have to ask his permission to go anywere. most of it is when there mind hasnt caught up with today and still think women r servers it shouldnt be like this women are human to. i wud find a good man that will respect you for being a women the mother of there kids its very important that we feel we are with our men because we r loved and not servers. stand up for women and leave him you are worth more than that.

Answer 2

Hon, I am not an Arab woman but I do have some experience in this matter. My 25yr old Daughter has been dating an Arab for two years. She has changed so much to be with him. Pers, I feel being alone is better than giving up yourself. It's horrible, she is the same old her when she is not with him but man when he is with her she totally tows the line. My advice as a Mother. Leave the situation for your own good and for the good of your children. Do you really want this man to be an influence on your kid?

Answer 3

Hi! I am not a lady or a convert, but my wife is! Also I have been studying and teaching Islam for over 20 years.. so I hope it doesn't bother you to write some answers. 1) during the menstruation, many women are subject to stress and weakness, so they are not supposed to fast, but this is an exemption in their favor, not punishment. The ritual 5 prayers are not performed by women during their period, but they can still "pray" to God, give thanks, praise Him, ask for His forgiveness, in a different way that is not the same as the 5 ritual prayers (called Salat). Again this will make them under less pressure and less requirements during that period. By the end of the period, a woman should have a ritual bath, in which she washes all her body, and this way she can start praying the 5 ritual prayers again. I think that it is wrong to call women "impure" during their period. They are just in a special condition that puts them under more strain and they should be relieved from any duties that can cause them stress. 2) As married people know, intercourse is a loving experience and usually when one side is not in the mood, the other would accept and not bother them. Both men and women have desires, but it is more often that women are "not in the mood", and if we add that no intercourse is permitted during the menstruation, men find themselves with less access to sexual satisfaction. If this situation is too frequent, they might end up looking for another woman. So once in a while, a woman might not be "in the mood", but she can still be kind to her partner so that he wouldn't get too desperate! 3) Unfortunately once dating starts, there is no way to control its results. Many people start with pure intention, and end up in the bed. Dating has not proven to be the right way for people to "get to know each other." There is so much divorce in the world nowadays, and if you ask most people, they would say "we dated and fell in love." If that love is true, then why did it not continue to exist? Unfortunately it is a false love and it is nurtured by the urge of the unmarried couple to show the best of themselves to the other. Once they get married, they see the real truth of each other, and often they get divorced in the first year of marriage, after years of dating! What is safest, is that people who are looking for a spouse, get the help of respected members of their community, to look for a compatible person. Once that person is defined, they meet and get to know each other, and then get married. "Love at first sight" is often deceiving and would blind the couple from noticing possible incompatibilities. 4) I came across many people who converted, and some of them were accepted immediately by their families, others had to wait for about a year, and others were never accepted. There is no general rule here. 5) The Quran does not ask women to dress in any traditional way. No convert must use Arab, Pakistani or other dress, unless she likes it. The Quran asks women to cover the "openings of their dress with their veils", while the Sunnah elaborates on that and mentions that modest dressing is important, and also that the only parts that can be seen are the face and the hands. It must be understood, though, that such a requirement still depends on the personal situation of a woman. If she cannot use the veil immediately after her Shahadah, she can wait for the right time. 6) There is no obligation to do that. It is recommended that on the wedding night, a husband and his wife offer a prayer of thanks to Allah. At every intercourse, it is recommended to say a brief prayer (not like the 5 ritual prayers), asking for God's protection from the interference of the devil, especially not to affect any possible offspring. 7) That varies a lot depending on the local culture. There is no special way. It is recommended that the day the marriage contract is done, friends and family are invited to eat and meet together. That's all. In some cultures, there is celebration and music. In others, no. Hope this helps. Peace/salaam

Answer 4

you have to understand in his counrty women are s h i t so it follows threw here.since not married i would run fast.yes its very normal and hopefully now you know better. i would definately leave b/c hes not going to get better in fact he will get worse and the fact he decked you back is a warning you just granted him permission to beat you and he will. the reason why i know i had a friend that married one and went to his counrty to boot and lets just say she is so unhappy and not close to the same person and that was the last time i was allowed to speak to her no contact since.you need to get out. let him boss around his own kind they like it and thats what they where raised to do.run run away.

Answer 5

Move on. The fact that you can go public like this is a sign that there is little or nothing left of the relationship so it is not worth putting up with a hard time.

Answer 6

He is treating you like his property. Are you prepared for a lifetime of servitude to this man? Your children should come FIRST, not any man.
"Permission"???? Honey, this is America, land of the free. You do not need a man's permission to do ANYTHING. You are your own person.
You need to break free of this man. Get him out of your house and out of your life. You are better than this.

Answer 7

i think you should beat the living shiot out of him and then kick yourself in the A$$ for marrying a paki anyway.

Answer 8

girl u still with him...jeez..enough with the complains...dump him already and find another guy...comeon!...btw peachie stop being racist..not all pakistani men are like that...its like saying all blacks are criminals or all rednecks hate non white people...what u dumb!

Answer 9

this is how paki men are. you cannot change him. they have low views about women. in his eyes, it is your job to serve him. your opnions don't matter.

Answer 10

Jeez...and you actually dont know where is the problem??? Hello????