I am getting married in June and my parents are Christian. They really want to have a nominally Christian ceremony. I on the other hand would be more comfortable with a Wiccan ceremony. Unfortunately most of my relatives would not come to a Wiccan wedding, and having them with me on my wedding day is very important. So as you can see I'm very conflicted.
2007-02-01 03:33:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is a very touchy subject. I know since both my husband and I are athiest/agnostic and our families wanted a religious ceremony.
There are 3 ways I see it to please everyone.
First, you can have 2 ceremonies. Have the one you want in all it's glory, then a small one right after for your family. I don't believe this to be the best answer, but it will make everyone happy.
Second is to eliminate either religion. My husband and I created our own ceremony with help from our officiant and it was beautiful. Exactly what I wanted and we got a LOT of compliments on it. However, if you and your fiance are deeply involved in Wicca, you may not want to eliminate what you believe.
Third is to have a mixed ceremony. Have an officiant help you create a ceremony that incorperates both religions. I'm sure they can help you come up with something that will work beautifully. I think this might work the best as long as you are both open to Christianity as well. If you and your fiance are both against it, then you shouldn't be forced to practice a religion you don't agree with.
Ultimately you have to do what will make you and your fiance the happiest. Your family should not put an ultimatum on you like that. It's a shame that people put their religion above those they love. Maybe try telling them that by coming to your wedding, no matter what religion it is, is supporting you and your fiance's love and life together, and not an attempt at making them support your religion. Hopefully they will see the light.
Good luck and may your new life together be filled with love and laughter!
2007-02-01 06:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by tokengrl1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
have a wiccan ceremony. it is YOUR wedding, not your parents or your relatives. they should accept the fact that it is yur wedding, and you really want them to be there, at a wedding that is for YOU, with YOUR beliefs, even if it makes them uncomfortable. explain to them what happens at a wiccan ceremony (the circle, the handfasting part, and all the other elements) in a way that won't be offending to them as Christians. explain to them the things that will make them uncomfortable, so that they understand it.
and explain to your relatives that you'd be more comfortable having a wedding YOUR way!!! good luck to you!!!!
you can also combine the elements of a wiccan and christian ceremony. tpye in handfastings or medieval wedding into a search engine, and you'll come up with a bunch of ceremonies, and some have very nice combinations. i've seen some very nice wiccan ceremonies, that are very similar to a christian one, so that it wouldn't offend anyone, and you might still be comfortable. check out these sites http://www.handfasting.info/h_rituals.html
http://www.handfasting.info/hand2.html
if that doesn't work, than have a ceremony for the two of you and those who would accept the wiccan ceremony, and then have a smaller to accomodate your relatives who would not attend the wiccan ceremony. who knows, you might be surprised to find that they will go!!
2007-02-01 06:06:15 · answer #2 · answered by Duelen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I see your conflict. And I understand that you want to please your family, but this is YOUR day, not theirs. They already had a wedding. This is yours for you and your fiance' to do what you want. But, since you know majority of your family is Christian and not be there and you want them to be there, maybe you can do this: Because you really want your family to be there, do the "traditional" wedding. Have a maid of honor, a best man, a couple of witnesses, whatever. Do not make a huge big deal of it. Then, either the same day or another day, plan the wedding YOU really want. Have the people and guest who would not mind going to a Wiccan themed wedding. You already had the "wedding" of your parent's dreams. So, have a second one for you. It may be the next day or whenever you two decide. It will please everyone. You can do this if you want to. Other then that, I always thought that no matter what the wedding happen to be, you-the parents-are supposed to be there and show support? This is just my opinion, though. But, this is what I suggest. I wish you luck and I hope this is the only thing that they "believe" is good for them-sorry, I meant for YOU.
2007-02-01 03:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would do the Wiccan wedding. If that is what you believe in, then thats what you should do. If your family can't be supportive enough to come to the wedding, then that is there problem. I am christian and I would definitely go to a wedding like that! It wouldn't be ME getting married...it would be YOU getting married the way you want...so I don't understand where those other people are coming from. I guess God just blessed me with understanding and an open mind....
Do it your way. No one elses.
2007-02-01 04:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not take the "middle ground" and have a non-denominational ceremony if you're not comfortable with the Christian route? It can be as secular as you want. You can always do a wiccan ritual later on, for yourself and your friends.
2007-02-01 06:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me just say this: you will NEVER regret doing it your way. You might regret doing it your parent's way. I did it my parent's way (to avoid the fighting and everything) and now when I see how my friends are marrying or a wedding on TV, I can't help but think about the beautiful ceremony I wish I had. Don't cheat yourself out of that. It's not selfish. It's honest. Good luck.
2007-02-01 05:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough one, though you already know that. Here is what it all boils down to: Your beliefs and comfort vs their beliefs and comfort. I know family is important, but this day is really about you isn't it? How does your fiancé feel about it all? Personally, I would have more respect for someone who stood up for their own beliefs because anything else would be a sham. I would think your family would recognize that too. Can't they respect you for who you are and not what kind of ceremony you are having? Just my two cents worth!
2007-02-01 03:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by BmickyD 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
to all the idiots out there that think Wicca is embracing the devil you need to read up on your religions...Wicca is one of the oldest religions out there. My wedding is full of all kinds of religious beliefs... and the main one is our grandparents- born again baptist. So that we don't offend anyone we are having a non-religious wedding...and its actually a lot easier and fun to have a family friend marry you...plus cheaper. Its something we will always remember. In the long run this is your wedding and if your family loves you for who you are they will show up no matter what..and if not their lose i guess huh?
2007-02-01 06:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Hailey B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rather than offend your family or go against your own beliefs, why don't you have a civil ceremony?
Not all civil ceremonies have to start with, " We are here to fulfill the requirements of the State......". They can be very romantic & elegant.
To find an officiant, type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You should have a few to chose from that will fit your needs.
I'm just baffled by how a Christian reared girl ends up in witchcraft.
2007-02-01 03:48:18 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Are you're parents paying for anything? You could always indulge them w/a Christian ceremony and then plan to have your Wiccan wedding on another date, because then you would be able to have your family present, and later indulge your own beliefs. Also, congratulations:)
2007-02-01 03:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by Terri A 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋