My mother was strug out on drugs for a very long time. My grandmother got custoty over us and we have lived with her ever since. Now my mother is back and off drugs, but my grandmother won't allow us to see,or talk to her. We all have forgave her accept my grandmother. My mother is on the verge of going to court to get us back. Do you think we should be able to live with our mother again?
2007-02-01 03:25:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your mother is completely clean and able to care for you guys then you should never be deprived of a life without her. Things happen in our lives that cause us to make bad decisions and unfortunately for your mother the decisions cost her her children. However if she has gone out on her own, seeked help and is completely drug free and has taken the steps to make sure that you guys will be ok financially, physically and emotionally then she should be able to care for you.
Your grandmother is only being overprotecting, because you guys are pretty much her children. She raised you as her kids and it is only natural that thoughts of relapse and your mother not being completely clean come to mind. Also, your grandmother knows your mother best, so that causes forgiveness to be a bit hard because your grandmother has seen all of your mother's flaws and all she can think about is the bad things. It's great that you guys have forgiven your mother.
Maybe you guys should sit your mother and grandmother together and have a talk with them. Each of you can write a letter to both of them on how you feel about the situation. They won't listen to each other. Maybe they'll listen to you!
Good luck. Let me know how everything turns out. Feel free to email if you would like to talk.
2007-02-01 03:46:08 · answer #1 · answered by Leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt your grandmother loves you very much. When a person, even your own child, has been a drug addict, it takes twice as long being clean as the addict was addicted to earn back trust. Seeing you and having a relationship is one thing; to give her custody is another. You do have the right to see your mother and forgiveness is good. You all need that. But I understand your grandmother's point of view. How long has your mom been clean? Has she proved it without a shadow of a doubt? Are you old enough to remember just how much an addict ruins and endangers others' lives? Don't be mad at your grandmother. If your mother is clean and able to care for you, she'll win the court battle. If she isn't, she'll blow it off and go back to drugs. It won't be your fault. S he has a lot to prove to her children and her mother. Who has taken care of you all this time afterall? Just take it slow with your mother. Love her, forgive her, but love your grandmother, too and trust her judgment. It is your grandmother who has been trustworthy the longest. Just my opinion after seeing pesonally how a real drug addict manipulates others and ruins their lives. Good luck!
2007-02-02 19:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by HelpOneAnother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you grandmother is concerned for your safety. also she must have had to deal with your mom when she was at her worst point, otherwise she would not be so worried about her getting you children back. many times when someone has been severely addicted to drugs, they have proved over and over they can not be trusted. your grandmother is not trying to be mean, obviously she has seen your mom try to clean up before and is at the point where she has no trust that she will stay clean. it will take time for your mom to rebuild the trust of your grandmother as well as the courts. i think there should be guidelines for her to have you back. she needs to follow through with her treatment program and try hard to stay away from the things that will send her back into her addiction. no i don't think she should just be able to get you back, she needs to work to regain trust and prove that she will not go back. hopefully the courts will be able to work out a visitation schedule to try to help to slowly bring your family back together. but it will take time and a lot of recovery on all of your parts to do this. good luck!
2007-02-01 11:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even the courts will rule that children are allowed access to their parents. It is probably a good thing your mom is considering going to court. As they will make sure the environment will be safe and healthy for you and your siblings. Plus it will show your Grandmother that despite what she feels, children should never be denied the right to see and talk with their parents.
Good luck to you and your siblings.
2007-02-01 13:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by NanaCat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts will decide whether she is fit enough to take u back Just let it take it course in time u will know.
2007-02-01 17:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you forgave her, and she stopped then I think there's no prob ! But again that's only what I think maybe there are other reasons I don't know.
2007-02-01 11:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by orange 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋