wedding???

Question

this is the situation. ive been dating my fiance for over 4 years we have a 7 month old son so technically i call him my husband and he calls me his wife. anyways david my fiance finally feels that marriage is something we should do. so do i. when i mentioned it to his mom, the first time she said she didnt want me to have there last name, originally its her she kept her last name instead of the guys for her kids, and now shes acting like it was the last thing she wants to hear. i asked for her blessings but never got a real responce. now i feel like telling my fiance i dont want to get married cause everytime the subject comes up with his family, its a huge issue? what should i do. ive tried for 4 years to get his mother to like me, after my sons birth she does, but i still think she doesnt. she acts like the only reason she likes me is for tyson??? any comments. SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE

me and david have had our ups and downs like every other relationship. she said before that she doesnt think i am good enough for him and he always picks the ****** up families to date. my family may have their problems but what family doesnt. she also said her 10 year old daughter would know more about my son than me and that i need to grow up. having a child doesnt make you an adult

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand her attitude in all this. I thought that a parents main objective, was that their kid have a happy life. If you and he are happy together what more could she ask? And you've given her a beautiful grand son! You sound like a nice person to me. If my son picked you I would love you simply because he does. She may think she's "hanging on to him", but she could be pushing him away by her attitude. If she keeps this up, she's going to be missing out on a lot!

I have a son who married a wonderful girl, and I've now got a beautiful 1 month old grandson. I couldn't be happier.

Answer 2

His mother is right; having a child doesn't make you a grown up. Other than that.......

You're son deserves to have his parents married.

When a couple marries, they are bringing together 2 different families, traditions, etc. So yes, we do marry "the fam".

But we are also instructed to "leave & cleave", meaning that your loyalty is to each other. You establish your own family by combining those traditons.

It's a shame that, though you may not be good enough for her baby, Mom can't accept you as the mother of her grandchild; because it is indeed a fact. It will NEVER change.
The two of you don't have to be best of friends but you should be, at the very least, cordial to each other, for the sake of Daddy (as it IS his mother) & the baby.

So you & Dave must decide what's the best decision for your son & go with that.

I'm not sure having a big wedding would work here. If you don't want to go to the courthouse, to find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You will have your choice of a few.
Find an officiant that will do the marriage & possibly do a baby blessing at the same time. That would be cool.

Answer 3

I feel that you both want the wedding, you told her and if she does not respond than you did your part....The main thing is what your fiance and you want, to make it right for your son...The fact that your fiance wants to be with you and to give you his last name is the point her not her blessing ...she will have to learn to deal with it...She will come around after the fact and if she does not don't let her be a fight between the two of you it's your lives. If she only likes you because of your son remember that baby is part of your fiance and yourself..Treat her with respect for your fiances sake and in time he will see where the problem is with the family issues and it will not be on your part.Good Luck..and Congrats on the wedding and baby Tyson!!!!

Answer 4

Wow...she sounds like a real monster-in-law...does your hubby take any of this on him?...If he doesn't do that by now...he never will...
If at all possible, ignore her. She isn't gonna change, you can count on that. Don't fool yourself by saying it will get beter it won't. I don't think talking to her is going to change things....you are either going to marry this guy and take her in the package or not....that is something only you can figure out but i do think yo need to have your soon to be maybe hubby take the wheel and run some interferance with the old bag...
You can not have your son around someone that treats you disrespectfully either, maybe it is okay now, but as he gets older it could do some damage, her disrespect towards you could be reflected in his eyes to where he feels it is okay to do the same...my husbands parents are both dead and I hate to say this but it really makes life easier based on all the stories I hear...good luck..

Answer 5

Mothers-in-law can be a pain, but if your "husband" is half the man you make him sound like he will stick up for you. Get married and take his last name! Just because his mother chose something different doesn't mean you have too. She will either come around and be respectful and fun to be around, or she will have little part of YOUR family's lives.

Best of luck on your marriage and don't let his mother rule anything.

Answer 6

ok do you and david love each other? then get married. if u have to take tyson to the courthouse and have ice cream afterwards. if u and he are living together and paying all of your own bills then proceed without anyones blessing.

i have issues with the inlaws. but i feel like this, when my man cums no one else is in the room but me. therefore u dont need help to make him happy cause he is still there proceed as planned. and please i know it is hard but try to be focused on your little family and not how his family will feel since they dont seem to concered with ur feelings the things that they say. tact and decorum should be done on both sides.

Answer 7

I think the most important thing is for you and your fiance and son to be happy. You are not marrying his mom, you are marrying him. Remember this. Don't let a stupid parent ruin your love.

It is your choice whether or not you want to take his last name.

I know it sucks not having family approval. i am not getting married, but my parents hate my bf, even though they haven't actually spent any time with him or anything. They just judge him, and it is so unfair. But I just ignore it, my bf makes me happy. If he proposes, I would say yes, and not care that my parents don't approve. I am not very close with my family. I am lucky, my bf's parents like me, sometimes I think more than my own parents do. I am just glad my bf realizes he is in love with me, and not my family, so we are able to be happy, despite what my stupid parents have to say.

Answer 8

You're not marrying David's mother, you're marrying David. I would talk to David and come to some agreements, but this is between the two of you. His mom has absolutely nothing to do with it. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come to the wedding. If she can't treat you with respect, she also doesn't have opportunities to see her grandchildren.

Whether she likes you or not or wants you to have her name or not -- these don't matter. What matters is what you and David want. And what matters is whether she can treat you with respect or not.

Answer 9

The woman will never like you and you already know that,that is half the battle.Now you marry the man if you want him as your husband and forget his Mom,she is not going to live with you.You have a family under your roof right now, so just make it legal.The child is yours you dictate where,when and who he gets to visit,exercise that right, things will change.Congratulations....

Answer 10

It's your relationship, your marriage, not your mother-in-law's! Her "blessing" would be nice, but you don't need her approval to get married. Whether you keep your last name or take your husband's name is up to you, too. Do what YOU are most comfortable with!