I been with my bf for 13 month I love him so much and he also said he loves me and went to spend his life with me, however we are totally different people, i am form a family that believes school, work and family, his family are very ghetto they are loud jail is noting to his family baby moms, they are more lay back. We met at work I work at this department sore full time, and he works full time at the same job, he works go home and plays video games all day, I go to school all day and work. Know he is not working a lot of hours they cut his hours and he is not really looking for another job, even we work at the same job I make more money and they didn’t cut my hours. But he is kind of miserable and he doesn’t really want to tell me what is bothering him, I fell bad and I buy him food and cook for him, I buy him cloth, and if we go somewhere to eat I pay for it, and it seems like he doesn’t appreciate me like the way I want him to. I don’t want to think like he is using me but that is what I fell like he is doing?? And plus the past week, when I go to his house to see him, because he cant come to my house my family don’t like him. he just sleep doesn’t get cloth to me doesn’t give me a huge he knows that I love to kiss him and huge him/?? I my thinking about this to much or what is going on?? I am always calling him I cant help my self not to call him even I try and said I am not calling him I end up calling him I need advice please help me
2007-02-01 03:17:48 · 16 answers · asked by sweet84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh boy, that relationship is going to turn into a nightmare for you lady...look at the warning signs, they are all over the place. There is an excellent book called "Are you the one for me?" by Barbara De Angelis. There you will find lots of examples of people who were dating the wrong person and how their lives became miserable. For what can I see you are a sweet, smart and family oriented lady, don't waste your time on a relationship that will take you nowhere...you deserve to be loved and spoiled...good luck.
2007-02-01 03:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by marconautico 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I don't think his family being loud and ghetto has anything to do with your boyfriend. It seems you already have this perceived misconception that just because his family is ghetto that he doesn't want anything in life. School is not for everyone. Also Not everyone knows that they can be more than what they are. If you guys have been together for 13 months you should be able to tell him how you feel. Despite what preconceived misconceptions you may have, he may actually want to do better. Help him. Stop buying him stuff, stop calling him, stop going over, and so on... If he calls or trys to make some sort of communication. Be resistant at first a little. If he doesn't try anymore than it wasn't worth it to him from the beginning. Leave him alone. But if he trys and is persistent, then let him know why you've been so distant. Explain how you feel.
2007-02-01 11:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by Porsha B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very confused and frantic. first things first stop and take a deep breath. I have been with my girl for about the same time, and she comes from a very well to do family and I am from a working class family. Now you have to understand that you need to let him be himself. I'm sure he does the same thing for you, so you need to do the same thing for him. You can't force will upon someone and expects them to follow, it doesn't work that way when it comes to relationships. I think you love him but you don't understand him, and I think that is your major point of contention. You need to sit down and see where your guy is coming from, and understand that if you can't relate to him then you need to move on, there is no point in killing yourself to understand someone you can't relate to on any level. Hope this helps, Thanks.
2007-02-01 11:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you thinking? Why are you still with this bum? Do you want to spend the rest of your life lighting fires under him to get his *** in gear?
Break up with him and find a guy that feels the same way about life and future that you have, some guy that has goals and is doing something to achieve those goals.
You will be happier and the bum can find some dumb s*lut to enable his lazy ways without being bugged about it.
2007-02-01 11:27:28 · answer #4 · answered by rilindy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are "mothering" him. He wants someone to cook, clean, earn, take care of him. And, all he would like to do if you continue this relationship is to laze around all day and let you do all the work.
This is a bad relationship. Cut it and run. This advise is for your own good. You will definitely meet someone better. You sound like a nice person, caring and loving. There are a lot of people who are like that. You will find that person soon. Dump this useless one.
2007-02-01 11:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, after sorting through the trash I finally found a question.
"Am I thinking about this too much, and what is going on?"
Well, anyone who does that much writing without thinking must be thinking about "it" too much, and not communicating clearly with others who may be able to help. What is going on? This is what is going on - you're trying to understand another person, when the fact is you cannot.
2007-02-01 11:28:40 · answer #6 · answered by WMD 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he is using you! my parents didnt like my boyfriend and he turned out to be a moocher and a user...parents seem to know best even if we think they are crazy! I really liked this guy but they said he was all wrong for me...turns out they were right! Dump him! he sounds like he isnt really into you anyway other than getting you to do stuff for him and buy him stuff....you are the "sugar mama" in the relationship! Get out while you still can hun...you deserve someone who will treat you the same way you treat them. WITH LOVE AND RESPECT! good luck hun!
2007-02-01 11:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by lisaj284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to make a relationship work, both of you have to put forth The effort. you have to be able to grow together, and cannot e one sided. most successful marriages are when the man and wife have the same education level, and income. those are the two biggest reasons for divorce.
2007-02-01 11:35:43 · answer #8 · answered by piopo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is using you and doesn't really even like you. It will be difficult, but stop seeing and calling him. Do it the AA way if you have to, "For the next 30 seconds I will not call him."
2007-02-01 11:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by absynthian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i been in ur situation b4 and the guy was cheating on me with his ex girlfriend so it sukd but i always did everything u did pay 4 him cook for him clean 4 him n iron but never appreciated it and to tell u the truth not to be mean but ur boyfriend sounds like a bum no offense thats what i would tell my ex cuz thats all he did n now we are not together n he dropped out n is living on his girlfriends low dollar pay check but if a guy doesnt appreciate you it means that u need to drop him already
2007-02-01 11:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by *W3D@* 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋