ok...here goes...i broke up with my ex over a year ago and he still comes over to my house unannounced whenever he feels like it. I met someone who I work with and he is great...he knows about the ex thing and he's ok with it to a point.....i cant blame him. What I need to know is what do I do? I have 2 children with my ex one lives with me and one with him so we do have a connection still and I will always love him but I really like this other guy. We've been out together lots of times and the first time we did anything sexually was 2 nights ago....should I continue this relationship with him or am I doomed to be involved with my ex forever??? HELP!!!
2007-02-01 03:03:19 · 6 answers · asked by lisaj284 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my ex knows the new guy in my life but doesnt know that we are anything more than friends...if he did he would KILL him and I cant hurt the new guy like that. I'm afraid I'm stuck! He has threatened to physically harm anyone he sees me with...so the new guy doesnt come to my house we always go to his house and I feel awful about that...I would love to have him over for a night but am afraid of the "unannounced" visitor may show up.....maybe I'm doomed to a life of lonliness and solitude. :-(
2007-02-01 03:23:44 · update #1
YOU haven't broken the tie with your ex yet. Your ex comes over unannounced or stays longer than expected because you allow it.
Find a time to talk with your ex with out the kids around. Tell him this. I am ready to get on with my life now. That is, a life with out you in it other than when it directly involves the kids. So I need you to understand and respect my requests. First, do not come to my home unannounced. Two, do not call or contact me unless it is directly associated with the kids. Three, when you come to get the kids please make the pick up/transition time as short as possible. Four, realize that there is the possiblity that when you see me I may be with someone and when I feel the time is appropriate I will introduce you.
Then comes your biggest obstacle. You must enforce these rules, not only on him but on yourself. You have up to this point enabled this behaviour to continue and unless you change your attitude about his attitude will not change.
Good luck and I hope this helps!
2007-02-01 03:11:49 · answer #1 · answered by wrkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be involved with your ex, no matter what. but you need to tell him to stop coming over unannounced. You're NOT TOGETHER anymore AND you broke up already.
Give the new guy a change. he seems nice!
2007-02-01 11:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and tell your ex that they need to back off. You are in a different relationship now. Go for it w/ the other guy cuz you'll nvr get ovr ur ex withot some1 else to fall 4----been there.
2007-02-01 11:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by candace. :] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ex are always around but guess what they are just that extras - extra baggage not first rate. Get rid of the ex and get a first place person that puts you first and not secondary.
2007-02-01 11:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sports Maven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if i was you i would keep the relationship with your new boyfriend cause you all ready had connection when you had got in the bed together so continue the relationship and keep the babydaddy at a distance
2007-02-01 11:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by MRS DEE 2 U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on girl. Forget your pass life and go for the new relationship.
2007-02-01 11:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by teddy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋