how can i move on from a damaged relationship and 2 kids to care for? Im just not over the it. Im still mad
2007-02-01 02:54:24 · 5 answers · asked by Amanda K 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
he doesnt pay child support, he sees the kids once every 4-5 mths and doesn't call. I have to make the effort and im tired
2007-02-01 04:03:17 · update #1
no doubt this has to be rough for you. my advice is just don't think about him. spend all of the time with you kids that you can. you cannot make this relationship work if he doesn't want to. from the sound of things, he is not worth your time anyway. what you need to do is go after him for child support to help you out with finances. you sound like a really good mom and you should give yourself a pat on the back for that. this will not effect the kids as much if you let the father around to see them or let them stay with him (only if you trust him) from time to time. they will miss him but just explain it to them in a way that they will understand and that it is not their fault. if the father doesn't want to be involved in the childrens life then i'm sorry to say this but he has some serious problems and is a deadbeat dad. just concentrate on the simple things in life and be happy for what you have. your health, two great kids, and a guy that you don't like out of your life. doesn't seem so bad when you look at it that way does it? hope this helps and continue to be the great person you are. good luck.
2007-02-01 03:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to focus on yourself and your children. You will all be happier if you do so. You will be suprised just how much better you will feel once you get away from it all. I know that it is not easy, but you will only cause more harm than good by dweling on it. I went throught the same type of situation many years ago with my two kids and their dad....it was hard, but I found that I really enjoyes the time spent alone and the time spent with my kids. I got to know them better once all of the excess stress was relieved and I finally started to see that I was independant, smart and could do anything that I put my mind to.
Love doesn't really have to be so hard...yes a marriage does take work...but it shouldn't be stressful. If you find the right one...it should come easy.
I am now married to an AMAZING man and we have been together for 5 years and never have had even ONE argument. He is my best friend in the whole world. I never knew that loving someone could be so easy. We just had our first child 4 weeks ago. I had my two from my first marriage and he also had two from his first marriage...so that is a total of five....he is a great father to my two kids and all of the kids love to be here with us because we never argue and they don't have to stress out about wether we are mad at one another.
I wish they could have had an easier first few years!
Do it for your KIDS!
2007-02-01 11:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable, however being mad or angry only hurts you and not the person you are angry at. You can learn to let go the anger, when it surfaces, and think positive thoughts about the children and yourself. You will need all the energy to make a go for yourself and the children, do not waste any of it on the anger directed at the dad. It takes time, and and it takes, patience. If you have faith, it is of great help, for you and the children. Look for God's blessings even in the most difficult circumstances.
2007-02-01 11:10:02 · answer #3 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation.Yes it is very hard to move on,but you need to do what is best for you and your children. Don't punish your kids because you are mad at their dad. It will take some time to get over a broken heart but its better than breaking your childrens spirit. You are all they have now, they look to you for love, guidance and support. I see my kids as my motivation. It makes me happy knowing they have a smile on their faces. A man will never bring you the joy and love the way your kids will. Men will come and go, but your children are by your side through thick and thin!!!
2007-02-01 11:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by im_the_69_diva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness heals your wounds...but it does take time. There is no quick fix, unfortunately.
2007-02-01 10:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋