Is it the people you will encounter, the clothes you wear??? what is it?
2007-02-01 02:54:08 · 19 answers · asked by rcvhoya 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's a combination of many things. I'll try not to ramble. I believe in God and wish that I could find a welcoming church to be in fellowship with like minded individuals. This entire process has been very flustrating to me.
I have been actively seeking a Church, to no avail. Some do not want new members--they have who they want and don't even welcome visitors. I visited a Church where the minister walked up to me after church and wanted to know why I came there. I told him I was new to the area and looking for a good church. He walked me to the door, pointed across the street and said that was a good church over there. (I was horrified, I felt like something was grotesquely wrong with me. I thought that most churches wanted people--I guess I was sadly wrong!!)
Also, I guess I don't fit the traditional stereotype of what many people consider family. I have a young son, and my younger sister also lives with me. (I don't want to have to explain to everyone why) Many people find this bizarre. I don't have a lot of money, our clothes are clean--but not the latest fashion, nor can I afford to buy dresses--clothes have to be multifuctional--suited for school, work, and our climate, etc...--which really rules out dresses in my wardrobe. Several churches have told me that I'd be welcome if I bought some dresses. One even felt that my 7 year old should wear a suit to Sunday services--his khakkis with button up shirts were ok for midweek service, but not for Sunday . It's hard enough to continually be purchasing shoes for an ever growing 7 year old, if I have to buy a dress jacket every time he took a growth spurt--well I just couldn't.
Also, having a 7 year old, I want to find a church with other children. One that has programs for children. Not easy to find in my area.
Many churches are very judgmental and even gossipy. I don't gossip or spend any unnecessary time on the phone chatting at home, I find it really uncomfortable in a church setting.
I live in an area where there are definite beliefs about what women should/should not do or be. One church felt that if I didn't have my child in a Christian school, that I should home school, it was an abomination that my child is in a public school.
Also, most churches are steeped in ritual. If they don't inform you of the schedule ahead of time, how can you know what happens when. (Heaven forbid you get something wrong, there are always those "Sister better than yous" that give you dirty or condescending looks.
Further, this is an area where many churches feel that there is to be separation of individuals. Where does that leave me? My child's skin is white, white; my skin tone is mid range; my mother is American Indian and I have numerous races in my family/background. I just don't fit.
It's to the point, I pretty much will only visit a church listed in the yellow pages. So, I can phone ahead--ask a few questions, etc... That still doesn't help much. My stomach drops every time I walk into a new church, I just don't know what I'm walking into.
I haven't been able to try out churches for the past 2 weeks. We've been snowed in. I've almost given up.
I don't know if you will find this answer helpful, or really what you are looking for. But I've answered truthfully and hopefully, you'll find what you are looking for.
Best Wishes.
2007-02-06 18:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by Rahab 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People at my church wear all sorts of clothes... pajamas would be fine or shorts. We are a hospital for sinners. We are forgiven but certainly fully human/not perfect. A lot of us are in recovery from something, or need recovery. I know we are friendly and loving. Our sermons are excellent and you are never going to be bored. It is time well spent. We are here to find encouragement from each other, pray for each other and lift each other up to God while praising Him.
www.mycrossroads.com
Now why would anyone be afraid of that?
Because it takes commitment. It's hard work to attend every Sun when sleeping in would be easier. It's hard to support the work of the church and be involved when other activities would be more convenient. However, we are a family and families have responsibilities to each other. God has so many blessings for His people because they worship together.. Christ is returning for His Church. I want God to find me in the family of God when He comes back. Visit our church or some church !!!
Be blessed !!! Janie
2007-02-08 10:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by jmrkillgore 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I, at first, was afraid to go to church, because I thought that all of those high-and-mighty people there would be judging me. Then a friend pointed out that I was the one doing the judging (OUCH!) since I had already decided that they were "high-and-mighty" and would judge me- all before I even walked in the door! After that, I went, and was pleasantly surprised that I was welcomed, and felt loved and at home, even though I had a much different background than most of the people there, and was a drug addict. I love my church now.
2007-02-08 05:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by Susan H 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm answering for "anyone". I think they are afraid to go to a church because they think they are outcasts and they don't belong, or they won't fit in or be accepted. Or they might not feel worthy because of the lives they live (sinning, doing wrong).
2007-02-08 07:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by KBub 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The clothes... I feel afraid of judgement by people around me, wondering why I didn't dress up more, or why I'm overdressed, etc. If I could find a church that accepted you in flannel pajama pants and scraggly hair, I'd be there EVERY Sunday!
2007-02-01 02:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer D 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Invalid premise.
Why would I be afraid? Been many times, weddings, funerals, pot-luck dinners.
I don't get anything out of the sermons anymore than I would if it were a Hindu temple or an Islamic call to prayers, but I have gone.
2007-02-01 03:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The people that goes to Church that makes me irritated (I'm Catholic). They can be rude Sometimes they are even late, and the church people tolerate that
2007-02-08 23:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lee C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am not afraid to go to church. I have many reasons not to believe the so call truth being spoken about in religions.
2007-02-08 06:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by ShanShui 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
who said any one is afraid. if cat closes the eyes the world doesnt bcom dark. many people fear to accept the truth.if not then y they r not reading bible, quran,bhagvat gita WITH A OPEN MIND . then choose which is the right path. which ever religion any one may be - ask ur brain after reading these scriptures , which is the right path ? then follow that one...
2007-02-01 03:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by kavithag 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's the people who try to cram their beliefs down my throat. That's what makes me afraid. They find out you don't think EXACTLY like them and they are determined to 'save your soul from hell'. How do they know that I'm the one going to hell? They don't. That mentality makes me afraid to go to church - not all churches, just fundamentalist ones.
2007-02-01 02:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by The Pope 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋