How can I stop myself loving my ex?

Question

I'm in love with a girl that keeps breaking my heart. I've been with her for almost two years now. I met her in February 2005 and we've been on and off since October 2005. We split up for 4 months in 2006 and got back together in November, but since then she's broken up with me twice. I'm hurting so much and she just won't give me the time of day.

I just want to stop loving her now if she won't try this time.

How can I do this?

I need tips on how to get through everyday tasks as well.

A BIG THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR ADVICE.

Answer 1

The only way to get her out of your life is to put her out of your mind and stop thinking of her. It will be difficult at first so just take it one day at a time. If you don't think you can manage one day at a time, take it hour by hour and go from there.

Get out of the house and involve yourself in other activities. Get a hobby or get out and meet new people. That is not to say involve yourself in another relationship, but it is important to keep busy.

An idle mind if the devils playground so to speak so do not sit around thinking of how much you miss your ex or how much you love her. Let it go and move on with your life. The right woman is out there waiting to be found by you.

Answer 2

It's hard when a relationship breaks up and you keep thinking about it, you just get totally stuck. One thing to understand is that if she keeps breaking up with you then she is the one with the problem -- it's not you.

There is something that can help you get "unstuck". Once you've done that you'll be able to think more clearly: This is a Scientology thing, and doesn't need "faith" or "belief" to make it work. If you do it, it works.

Get some paper and a pen.

Write this question at the top of the first sheet "Look around here and find something that doesn't remind you of (insert ex's name here)."

Then read the question to yourself and do it. Look around and find something that doesn't remind you of your ex.

This will most likely be very hard to start with (or, it might be easy to start with and then get hard, it'll get easier towards the end anyway). Try to find different things each time but if it ends up being the same thing, it's okay.

When you find something, write down what it is.

Then do it again, and again, and keep doing it. This may take a while, and you might go through lots of different emotional stages, and it can be draining. Keep going. You can take breaks (life happens -- you have to eat), maybe do a little bit each day, whatever, but keep doing it.

You will know when you've finished because your viewpoint will change, you might realise something, and you won't feel the same way about your ex.

Then you can get on with your life.

Answer 3

I hate to say this, time will only heal. I have the same problem and it took me almost 1-1/2 yr to get over with that jerk. Once in a while, I still have that person in mind. Well, here is what you could do: (1) go out and meet new people (2) hang out with ur friends (3) take classes - meditation, dance, gymn, yoga, etc that you like doing (4) pray more often (5) volunteer helping others - nursing homes, hospitals, churches,.... The bottom line is, your mind must be occupied by other things but not the person. I still try to practice the above examples and I hope they would help you. Let me know!

Answer 4

Its hard my friend. I have gone through this myself, a gal I loved for two years, who just ended up cutting it off cause I am now half a country away. The thing that helped me was I put her in the back of my mind. Go hang out with your friends, that'll help. Go out and have some fun. Or in the most Dire of circumstances drink, drink drink. It gets your mind off things for a lil while.

Talking wise, avoid contact for long enough, so that next time you two talk, you wont get to emotional.

And if shes the one calling you..... which I must say makes things harder, just for a day or two have a friend use a fake name and have him recprd your voicmail message, makes it seem like you dont have the phone no more ;-).

The best way is to avoid contact...... Its very hard to do, I know..... but it is the only way really.

And if you need food for thought to help you out, heres a bit. Im guessing your one of them nice guys right, well I bet she thinks that since she can allways have you, she wants to go ut and have some of them "Bad boys" for a lil while, and she might want to put you in the shelf to come back to when shes finished and wants an actual relationship again. Dont let her do that..... Dont ever let a woman do that. There are plenty out there bud, dont let this one snag you, I know youve invested alot of time and money in her, but if this sounds even an inkling true, let her go, she'll figure out what she lost, and she comes looking for you again, you can laugh at her, while holding your newer girlfriends hand.

Answer 5

Oh God, unrequited love. It hurts so much and we've all been there. So sorry to hear your story and know that you are not alone in this....many are going through it now too.
Try and focus on any task at hand. If you start to think of her, MAKE yourself stop....not easy but you can do it. Over time you will think of her less and when you do, it won't hurt as much. Start dating other girls and eventually you will find one that cares deeply for you and won't hurt you. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Chris - it stinks to get your heart broken by someone you love, but this girl isn't worth all this heartache!! There is a woman out there that won't do that to you. You really need to move on - as much as you can't see that right now - for your sanity you need to break all ties - throw away anyththing that reminds you of her - and focus on you and your responsibilities. In a month or so - you will feel better, it's going to take longer than that to move on - but getting her out of your head will take strong will and determination. You can do it though.

Answer 7

I did it for 4 years!!!! and AFTER we seperated allowed myself to still "see" him whenever he wanted... I really don't have any amazing advice other than I surrounded myself with amazing friends, partied a lot! met a bunch of amazing new people, honestly I hardly dated (seriously), and just had a good time. Now here I am a year later and I'm engaged to a guy I met when I was in 8th grade and we're about to have a baby!!! And I find myself saying ex who??? So all you need is time and great friends! good luck and trust me I am soooooooo sorry but time heals all.

Answer 8

Stop having all contact with him, until you fairly like all of the drama. You have no one on account that you're conserving on to him and now not letting yourself to find any one else. He is aware of that you may be used and so he will continue utilising you. Achieve some self recognize and drop him like a scorching potato, if now not then go see him and be miserable the rest of your lifestyles, Drama is not a enjoyable method to are living.

Answer 9

mmmm tricky this. You could start by breaking her heart back. Maybe if its you with the power you wont feel as vunerable as you do. What you really have to ask yourslf, is do you want to stop loving her? If you do, you can, if not your in a spot of bother. If you are determined to get over her then you can start by writing a list of things you have to stop doing, like calling her etc and sticking to it. Take a holiday with a few mates to ibiza or somewhere that'll do the trick. Read paul Mckennas new book

Answer 10

I had this with my ex, but we weren't together for anywhere near as long as you were with your ex, so I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I found it incredibly hard but the best thing to do was to delete evry text/email/letter I had from him and deleted his phone numbers email addresses so I had no way of contacting him, I also asked hime not to contact me and threw away everything he had given me. It was so hard to do as I kept clinging on to every little bit of hope... but I honestly feel better now. Out of sight and eventually out of mind. Hope fully if she does like you she'll realise what shes missing...you don't know what you've got til its gone. Theres a little saying that keeps me going as well; If you love someone, let them go, if they come back they are yours to keep... if they don't they never were. Anyway, you sound really nice and genuine, you deserve someone better than her. Keep yourself busy with all your friends and family, they are more important. Hope all goes well for you Lou x

Its really great to know from a girl with a broken heart that there are some great guys out there who do want to be loved.