I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a month now. We REALLY like each other and things have been going pretty well. He and I have both had some really bad past relationships so we have both said that being together is like a breath of fresh air. Like always there HAVE to be bumps in the road. First thing, All my friends like my boyfriend and my sister doesn't. She has NO reason not to like him and he bends over backwards to be nice to her but she keeps trying to convince me his isn't good enough for me. Second the last guy I dated and my ex boyfriend are starting to resurface. I've been up front with my boyfriend that they have been calling and I've told them to stop but as you know it don't sit well with him. Third, his ex girlfriend keeps calling him. This girl is everything I can't stand about women. He told me that he told her it's over but she won't take the hint. I KNOW my insecurities are starting to show. How can we ignore the outside world and be happy?
2007-02-01 01:44:55 · 23 answers · asked by Freespirit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now, you and him have to think hard if your relationship are worth, if yes, then all you guys have to keep ignore it and keep going together and show them that how much you guys love each other so much. PROVE THEM WRONG! PROVE THEM THAT they can't take you guys down.
2007-02-01 01:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by MissGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one, since there are so many forces against you two being together. One way would be to just cool off the relationship. Maybe your sister has a feeling that you are jumping into a relationship soon after a bad relationship and would behave that way toward anyone right now.
As far as the ex boyfriends calling, you need to let them know to stop calling and then DO NOT talk to them. IF that doesn't work then change your number. What does your current boyfriend think about them, is he were he can confront them and tell them to stop? The last resort would be a restraining order but that is if they are actually stalking you or you feel threatened. He has to do the same with his ex-girlfriend.
Decide on what to do together and if you can't agree or can't get it to stop, then maybe you need to do the first thing I said, cool off on it for awhile.
2007-02-01 10:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by hazyseptember 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is all but uncommon to me. Just tell your exs to back off and stop picking up the phone when they call. That just tells them that you want to talk to them and so they hav reason to bug you more. Your boyfriend should do the same about his ex. Completely shut them out.
My sister has problems with my boyfriend as well and I just tell her that he is good for me and that she is just going to have to get used to it. It is sometimes hard for other people to understand that what they see on the surface of a relationship may not always be how it is when the two are interacting without outside involvment.
Your sister could be reacting this way because she knew that your other relationships were not going to last long and therefore would not be a threat to her and "sister time" This boyfriend now poses a threat to your relationship with her and she will attack your relationship until she feels like you will not be taken away from her. This jealousy is very common among sisters. Just let her know how you feel about him and try to understand where she is comming from as well.
2007-02-01 09:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by Alyssia K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell ou one thing, Whenever a relation starts to flourish, its always that "third" factor that comes between to ruin the broth! I would suggest you two to "stick" together mentally, physically and emotionally as if you are glued. Just focus on what do YOU want out of your life no "third" person would ever come over to protect you from the strom! It would only be the one who loves you truly and sincerely! Not even let your sister interfere between the relation and keep the thing of the past away from your fresh relation, whats over is over! Make your bond with your current boyfriend so strong that it would discourage anyone else to come out of nowhere and create problems. Make a union of two! Think what best works out for your relation and LEAVE the rest behind. Hope that you stay in a healthy and long relationship of LOVE :)
2007-02-01 09:55:31 · answer #4 · answered by aaqib 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first few months of a relationship are always the hardest, especially when it comes to jealousy issues. That's something you don't want to let come between you two. It's hard at first to ignore it, but as you grow closer together and things start calming down, you'll both realize that it's not worth it to fight over people who don't matter. The only two people you should be worrying about is you and him. If someone has a problem with the two of you being together, let them talk, but it's up to you who you want to be with. No one else's opinion really matters. I know that sounds selfish, but it's the two of you who are going to be together, not the both of you and everyone else... good luck!
2007-02-01 09:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by unicarel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your sister why she doesn't like him. If there is no specific answer still, insist on what you think is right. If you really feel that your boyfriend is good and you want him,clear all of your doubts about his stance towards his ex-girlfriend. Also, make clear your stance towards the last guy you have dated and your ex-boyfriend. They should turn away or else you simply ignore them. After this, if you are assured that your boyfriend wants you, go ahead dating him. I hope that your first problem will be solved gradually.
2007-02-01 10:17:23 · answer #6 · answered by Intensive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need to put your ex's in the past and leave them there.You cannot start a new relationship until the old ones are completely finished.If the ex'x are contacting you all you have to do is NOT answer the phone when they call they will get tired of being ignored and they will eventually go away.You cannot worry about what everyone else think's you have to live your life for yourself and do what makes you happy you will never beable to please everyone all of the time it is just not practical.Good luck to you.
2007-02-01 09:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hook his old girlfriend up with one of your ex's, and his sister up with another of your exs.
Nah, that probably would not work.
You have two problems: sis, and the ex's.
You are both having problems with your ex's, and with the other person's ex's. If this was me, I'd create a simple script I'd use with them and notvary from. "Hi Tim. No, I'm not available to (do whatever he is asking, even if it is only talk for a little)." Repeat with as little variation as possible to anything he asks. Say 'goodbye' as soon as possible and just hang up.
Sample:
You: Hello?
Tim: Hey, ya wanna...
You: (Interrupting him) I'm not available to do anything tonight.
Him: What about...
You: (Interrupting again) I'm not available to do anything then either. Goodbye. (click)
He does not need to know your plans, to be reminded about your current guy, how things are going, what went wrong between you, or anything else. Keep your tone calm- not upset or anything (you never know- you may want to hook up later for some reason!)
Encourage your guy to do the same with his ex.
Sis- sit down and talk to her. Explain how important her insights are to you and ask her what her concerns are. if she is the older sis then she may have some good points. If she is younger, she may just miss you (or be a little jealous!)
2007-02-01 10:05:52 · answer #8 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your sister needs to get a bf of her own and stop worrying so much about your relationships. Second, maybe your bf and you should set his ex and your ex's up with eachother. If you two are happy with each other, that's all that counts. It's a challenge, granted. But if you love each other, just have faith and it'll all work out.
2007-02-01 09:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do exactly what yousaid, ignore the outside world and be happy. Who cares what others think if you make each other happy. If you trust each other and are committed to each other, then there should be no problem. If these two things are present, trust and commitment, then the outside world should be easy to ignore. If the outside world is starting to shake yor relationship, then maybe you need to work on your trust and commitment between each other.
2007-02-01 09:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by Choco_Taco25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should keep touch with your exes. I also dont think anyone holds a gun to your head forcing you to talk to them so why do you willfully irritate your boyfriend? Your relationship will get better once you remove all the obstacles yourself. If a relationship cant work with someone then a friendship wont. You and him can have a mutual compromise or a mutual break up... whichever you allow will happen.
2007-02-01 09:51:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋