Is it etiquette to send wedding list with invitations and can you ask for money?

Answer 1

I think it bad form all the way round. Better to not mention, as others have said.
--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 2

Hi. I've had this debate with some friends and we all thought it was okay to send a wedding list, and ask for money but you you have to be careful with the wording. You basically need to say that it is great enough that they have made an effort to celebrate your special day together and you don't need presents but if they would like to then some money towards a holiday, honeymoon etc would be so apprechiated. And make sure you send them thank you notes - people get very hurt otherwise.

Try a little poem like these below:

We’ve been together for a few years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same

We havent got a wedding list
the reasons well explain
its to save you all the agro
as shopping is a pain
we thought wed ask you all
for something else instead
a small contribution towards a hoilday
after the i dos are said
So if youd like to contribute
towards our honeymoon
we offer out our heart felt thanks
with love the bride and groom!

So what do you get
For the bride and groom
Whose house needs things
In every room?
When shopping for a present please don’t be rash
As there is always the option
To just give cash!
We hope you don’t find
Our request to be funny
But we really would appreciate
A gift of money

Answer 3

Never send the list with the invitations.

You can however say where you're registered. This is usually doe on a separate card included in the envelope.

If you JUST want cash and not gifts, then have that card convey the notion that you already have the household goods you need and as such you haven't set up a registry. Most people will take that as a subtle hint to give cash instead of gifts.

If you want the cash for a specific object or event, then include it in the registry. If that's not an option, you can pull your Best Man and Bride's Maid aside and tell them you're saving up for XYZ item / event and they can lead the charge on getting people to pool gift money to buy you the furniture / plane tickets / whatever you're saving for.

Be careful though, as in doing that you;re asking them to do a lot of leg work and coordinating for you.

Answer 4

If you have a wedding list with a store then send a card with details, you could add gift vouchers to you list.

to ask for money is a bit cheeky.

You could insert a ticket in invite saying wedding list available on request from bride or groom or do it online.

A bit nicer than receiving a invite with gift list enclosed.

Good luck for the big day

Answer 5

It is perfectly acceptable (in Britain anyway) to send a note of your gift list with the invite, most pre-printed cards will state that this is only if they want to purchase a gift but it is quite rude to ask for money. If you must you need to tell people specifically what it is for.

Answer 6

By wedding list, do you mean a list of invited guests to your wedding? Sure, why not. And my fiance and I are getting married this Sept. and we are sending out invites with a request that the guests do not bring us gifts (not a first marriage for either of us and we already have everything needed for the home), but rather that they donate funds to our wedding party and reception to help defray the costs to ourselves. The few people that we have talked to about this all think that it is a great idea!! It actually makes it so much easier for the guests to get you something, doesn't it? Who ever says "no' to cash? I say...Go ahead and ask for money instead of gifts if that is what you actually want from your guests.

Answer 7

I think it's rude to ask for $. I think it's a little rude to send a registry, but that is more acceptable than just asking for cash. You should consider that roughly 1/2 the people who attend may not know both bride & groom together, and may not be comfortable with giving a gift, so guiding them with a registry would be helpful. Instead of cash, you may want to suggest gift cards for where you are registered. That way people won't think you're using the $ they give you for frivolous stuff, and are helping to contribute to your new household.

Answer 8

It's not a wedding list... it's called a Wedding Registry. You sign up at various stores and put what you want from those stores on a list for the guests to choose from if they wish. You put the cards from those stores (the store will give them to you) in the invite. DO NOT ASK FOR MONEY! You are not entitled to anything... if people want/can buy you a gift then they will pick out what they want to give you.

Answer 9

Never mention money, gift registry, etc. on an invitation. Although most places that have registries (i.e. Target, Bloomingdales, etc.) give out little cards to put in the invitation that say "we're registered here"- it is considered tacky to do so. Any additional details, such as money or registries, are stated to be strictly word-of-mouth. Nowadays, most couples will start their "wedding website", with information on there about the ceremony, reception, and any other information. You put the website address in with the save-the-date card/invitations, and people can log on to see more details. That is the best place to put that you don't want gifts.

Answer 10

It would be inappropriate to send anything along with the wedding inviation. An inviation is a request for someone's attendance, nothing more. The guest, on the other hand, shows good manners by giving a gift or money. (But the gift is strictly up to the guest.)

Answer 11

It's downright bad mannered.
The parents of the bride and groom and the wedding attendants would be expected to pass on the bride and groom's wishes discretely to guests.
Asking for money is no better than begging. Any gift given by any guest should be accepted graciously whether you like it or not.