How do you feel about parents getting the child support and not the child? Even tho the parent has no bills?

Question

The parent is not using the child support to finance their house needs, but is using it for there personal needs and HABITS. The parent is also living with their family so they have no mortgage, rent, bills etc. Also the parent has a well paying job, but is just covering their income to collect food stamps. Then sells the food stamps for cash to support drug habit. Then all in all, the other parent goes to court about the back child support, and asks if it can go to the child to help the child now since she is moved out. The judge said no and that the other parent needs the back support because she is struggling. The parent that is using these advantages, had wrote a note to the judge saying that she can't pay for the bills..... What is your thoughts on this sensitive subject about child support?

Also, i am the child that is not recieving the child support, my mom is the one who is keepin it from me, she didnt give me the support when i bought my car, she is usin it for her car payment and insurance. Those are the only bills she has. She works 6 days a week gets paid weekly and makes 16 an hour. Also i have a bf for 4 years, she said since i have a man then he can provide me with my needs. But i had to pay her back the money she spent on me for prom and she took my dress and shoes. She lent me 25 bucks for gas and i forgot to pay her back so on my birthday i asked where my b-day present was and she said in my gas tank. SO i m sorry if some of u mis interpret as this being one of the parents. i am the child.

I am 19 and in the court records state that he'll be paying until im 21. But since i have moved out, the actual child support stops. But, he owes back an additional $4,000 some dollars and i was never raised by my mom i lived with aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. but i really dont know what to do.

but my mom is the one who is recieving the child support and i have a 14 year old brother and a 9 year old sister. their dad is in prison, my mom has been married 3 times and now she's going thru a divorce with her third husband, she is a gold digger. i know this and i dont plan like being like her.. hell no. but when the 2nd dad gets out of prison, he'll be payin out the ***, which i feel bad for my siblings cuz they're not gonna get a cent of it. i can promise you that. She (my mom) said her life is so much better since i moved out, she's slept with my guy friends, stole from me, my fiancee, got a credit card in her name under my SSN, u name it she's probably done it. I mean, she is 34 im 19 she had me at 15, she never grew up and she is like livin thru my life and screwin my friends and hits on my fiancee and he cant stand her, he dislikes her with a passion, she like TRIpolar.my life is much better since i have moved out,i was going insane.literally.I guess she felt threaten

Answer 1

I think its ignorant!! my stepsons mother collects child support from my husband..way 2 much if u ask me. She has no job, gets welfare, wic, help from any other gov. place she can. She has 3 kids by 3 different men is 23 and on her 2nd marriage...she works for a wk then quits just so child support wont go down..and her food stamps wont get taken away. She uses the child support money on herself..she just recently moved into her own apt with her new husband..they were living with her dad , while my husband and i go into debt trying to pay our bills, and support our family(my hubby, me and our 2 yr old son). its ridiculous!! report her! fight it and dont let her get away with that crap!!!

Answer 2

While you two may not be a couple any more, you are still co-parents to this child. He doesn't have to like or live with you, but he has a moral as well as legal financial obligation to the child. You can't force him to be a different person than he is. I hope every girl who secretly believes that if she gets pregnant, then he'll "always love her" sees this post. That isn't the way "accidental pregnancy" works out most of the time. In your particular case, child support is NOT a punishment. It's a consequence. He chose the consequence when you two made the baby in the first place. You can't change The father's personality, but you owe it to the child to get the father to couples counseling so he knows that he isn't punishing you by cutting off his payments or failing to see the boy: He is punishing the child he helped bring into the world. (If there is already a court order, he's also breaking the law.) Go see a lawyer. The DA in your area may have an office that deals with family issues. Ask for a court order that gives assurances that he will pay child support but also see if you can get it worded so that he will also get some parenting classes. While he's going, you should probably go, too. Getting help doesn't mean you don't love your kids enough to know everything. It means you love them enough to try to learn more.

Answer 3

I think that the child is getting shafted, is there a way for the support money to go directlty to the child, or can the parent that is paying child support ask that reciepts can be shown so that the monies can be tracked. Why can' t the other parent send a note to the judge saying that the money is not being used for the betterment of the child and is being used on other things.

Answer 4

Well if what you are saying is the truth, and she is using her children's child support on Drugs, than shame on her. That money is supposed to be spent on Bills, clothing for the children, things they need etc... Not fun money. Unfortunately unless you have a lawyer and since she has the wool pulled down over the judges eyes. You are stuck. She can live anywhere she wants, and she can say that she is paying bills there even tho they are not in her name, she can only hide money for so long, and if you could only catch her at something, and have a picture of it... The proof is always in the pudding, and maybe you need to try and catch her. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Im a woman, and I think it was designed by women. My husband pays 100.00 a week in child support. We have to save our money for years to afford vacations and new appliances, while his x goes on vacations twice a year with her 2 kids and her new husband. She was a stay at home mom for a VERY LONG time and lived with her new husband. She had NO bills and her only income was his child support, which honestly at that time made sense. But NOT the vacations. In all honesty, I believe that these women get too much money sometimes and NOT enough others. I know a girl who got pregnant by a wealthy man. She gets 950 dollars a MONTH in child support. Her and her daughter live with her wealthy parents. Her parents pay for all of their grand babies clothes, diapers, toys, etc... While all her money goes toward opening her dance school. So she spends all that money on a dance school! Not a home for her child, NOT a college fund, NOT ANYTHING of importance. She was working as a teacher until she started recieving child support, and then she quit her job to open the school.
BUT... I have another friend, whose x lives in Arizona, she lives near chicago. She is lucky if she gets a couple of bags of new diapers for her child in a month. He never pays child support and she struggles badly. She has NO CHOICE but to live with her parents because she cant afford to live on her own. In her case, I think he should be paying more.
Its a different situation for everyone, and its a hard case for someone in most situations.
I wish they had an adult education coarse in high school, say in 8th grade explaining to both young boys and girls the difficults of being a parent. Maybe those kids wouldnt grow up just to have kids and mooch off of someone else for the rest of their lives. Its sad to see women who do that, but its also sad to see women who have to struggle because the men WONT pay. Its a lose/lose situation.

Answer 6

If all you say is true, get a court ordered drug test inside of 30 days and prove to the court your ex is an unfit parent. Otherwise, are you REALLY paying enough child support that would afford rent, mortagage, bills, etc? Honestly, child support is just that, it's barely enough to buy food for a kid, let alone acutally support the entirety of their needs. Good for your ex getting help with the living conditions for your child. It just sounds like your irritated you have to pay child support.

Answer 7

I feel bad for you, child support is to help the parent who makes less money support the child in an equal or more equal manner to the paying parent.
Your mom is abusing the system and you are suffering for it.
Since you have moved out it sounds like you will be 18 soon and child support can end. IF your dad wants to help you maybe he can give you what he previously gave your mom.
Don't grow up to be like your mom. Good Luck

Answer 8

It's really tough now days. The money paid is for the well being of the children. The courts even accept them using the money to pay their rent since it's a roof over the kids head. It's tough to prove ones not using the money on the kids anymore. I'd just suggest talking to a lawyer and see or possibly trying to get custody of the children. good luck ;o)

Answer 9

My husband pays $350.00 a month and his kid doesn't even have decent clothes on when she comes to the house.I know for a fact that his ex is paying her credit card payments with his money,she is re married and her husband doesn't work but gets a check from when he was in the military so they both have money to take care of things and buy the kid some clothes.I really don't care what the bitc#h does with the money but i have already layed down the rules,that when his daughter gets older and comes and wants money we aint giving her a dime.I will tell her exactly how much money her mom gets from us each month and tell her to get money from her.Also she cheated on my husband and left him for another man,my husband had to pay off thousands of dollars in credit card debt of hers so the divorce would not ruin his credit,and also had to buy her a car so she would have decent transportation for the kid.I think in this case the man got screwed and everyone thinks a woman deserves child support not after she does something like that i think it should be considered in court.I don't think the woman deserves a dime if she cheats and can't pay off any of her debt.

Answer 10

There needs to be some accountability here, and some oversight on this case. Sounds as if some fraud has taken place in the past, and also non-payment of child-support. Both the parents need to be looked at as both appear to have not lived up to the law's and regulations regarding this whole situation.