Bridesmaids gifts.....etiquette; jewelery or hair/makeup?

Question

I have five bridesmaids (4 + MOH). I was wondering what the proper etiquette is as far as their hair and makeup for the day. Do they pay for it themselves or am I supposed to? (I know everyone has a feeling on this; I'm looking for what ETIQUETTE says I do)

My mother wants to go to this place she heard about, she wants herself, me, my FMIL, and perhaps my sister (MOH) to go. I don't think it's fair to my BM's who might want their hair/makeup done, too. But I also feel bad asking them to pay.

Another problem I have with this is that one of the bridesmaids has very difficult hair. It's naturally curly; it is shoulder length but if she were to straighten it it would be past her butt: THAT curly. She finds it difficult to have anyone new style her hair. If I go to this place, what about her?

And, kind of a poll here......What would you prefer as a gift, the jewelery for the day (if I don't give it they can wear whatever they want) or hair and makeup? What would YOU want?

Answer 1

When I got married, the bridesmaids paid for their own hair and makeup, usually if you all go to one place, the hairdresser will do your hair for free, at least that's what happened to me. Some people pay the entire shot for their bridal party, but i really don't think it's necessary, but the best thing to do is talk to your bridesmaids, you may find that they assume that they have to pay and you're in the clear.
As for your friend with the curly hair, she should go to the salon a few weeks before the wedding and try out different styles to see which one will work on your big day. In fact, your entire bridal party(not the inlaws and your mom) should go a few weeks before and try them out. You would hate to be in a position on your wedding day with a style you hate(it happened to me!)

For my bridesmaids, I had custom bracelets done for each of them , with the stones matching the colour of their dresses. For my MOH, I had a set, necklace and bracelet. In terms of wearing what they want, if it doesn't bother you, then it should be fine. If you have an idea in mind of what you would like, then you should let them know.

I hope this helps, and don't worry.. you and your party are going to be gorgeous!

Congratulations :D

Answer 2

I don't actually know if there is proper etiquette as far as hair and makeup goes...

For my wedding, I did my own makeup, and had my hair done. I told my bridesmaids that I had a block of time reserved in the morning for anyone who would like to get their hair done with me - no obligation. Otherwise they were free to use their own stylist (face it, as women, we are attached to and trust our own stylists!) or do their hair themselves, whatever they were most comfortable with. I didn't care if they had the same hairstyles or not. I picked my bridesmaids because I loved them for who they were, and they were all different women - why would I want them to look like cookie cutters? I also believe that EVERYONE looks better when they are comfortable, so if they had a hairstyle that they were comfortable with because it suited them, they would automatically look better. Again, that's simply my opinion - it worked for me and my bridal party.

As for gifts, I got my girls jewelry (and traditionally, that is what I've received as a gift for being a bridesmaid), but I also picked up slippers for each of my bridesmaids - I think they were like $7 a pair. At the end of a long day on your feet (in heels!), putting on a pair of slippers was a welcome relief!

Answer 3

I'm actually setting up a block of time with an inexpensive hairstylist for my bridesmaids. I have 4 in total. I'm having someone come to do my makeup, so if the girls want to get their makeup done I will let them know what time the makeup artist will be there. I'm also buying them sets of jewlery, it's not expensive I got them for $15 a set. Considering that they paid for the dresses, shoes that I want them to wear for my wedding, I feel it's the least that I can do.

Answer 4

Etiquette says that the BMs and the MOH assume full responsibility for their attire, transportation, lodging and anything else (including hair and make-up) that might be a required expense.

If you're feeling generous, then give them their hair and make-up for the wedding day ... just know that it is going to be more expensive than getting them a nice necklace and earrings to go with the dresses.

It is really up to you how you'd like to handle the situation ... just know that they are there for you and they'll pretty much comply with whatever. If you don't want to leave them out, then ask them if they'd like to join you at the salon ... a few might go and not get anything done and opt to do it themselves. Some people are finicky about doing their own make-up, etc.

Answer 5

How many of the BM are broke? If the hair and make up costs more and the hair and make up is more important for you (to make sure pics turn out great and all that) then I would foot the bill for that in place of a gift...if you're not that concerned about the hair and make up or your budget just can't accomodate it then stick to the jewelry and mention to them you are going and give them the info to make an appt themselves if they want to join you...if they are smart then they will realize you aren't paying...

If it were me I would want the hair and make up...if you have ever been a BM yourself then you know it is still stressful...what if you look awful and ruin the wedding pictures??...it would be nice to just chill with your girls for a couple of no stress hours before the big event...take the pressure of all of you...oh if the girl with the crazy hair doesn't want to try something new then give a gift certificate for the salon she normally visits or for a mani or pedi...then she won't feel like she's getting the shaft on her gift.

Answer 6

I know you're stressing ettiqette here, but I agree with the first poster. You really need to look at what you can afford to do and what your budget is. If you feel comfortable paying for all your BM's hair, make-up, etc., go for it. However, these days I think it's more common for brides to have BM's pay for everything.

I'm also not requiring that my BM's get their hair and make-up done professionally. I trust them to do what they need to do to look good that day. Of course, I'm only having two, plus my MOH, all of which are family, so it's easy for me to deal with them.

What you could also opt to do is pay for their hair and make-up and just get them smaller, less expensive gifts (or give them a gift certificate for the hair place that would cover everything, plus a manicure treatment as well as an added bonus). You shouldn't be expected to provide a pricey gift AND foot the beauty bill AND pay for their reception dinner, you know? You have to keep in mind that it's your day, too, and while you should want your BM's to enjoy themselves as much as possible, proper ettiquette is what YOU decide to do. Either way, I'm sure they'll appreciate whatever you decide.

For my BM's, I'm getting them engraved jewlery. I wanted to give them something to remember the day by that's also stylish enough to wear after the wedding, and that's what I would want to receive as well.

Answer 7

The ettiquette states that when you accept an invitation to be in a wedding you accpet all the fincial responsibility that goes along with it.
Shower costs, dresses, shoes, etc.

However, if these girls are perfectly capable of doing their own hair and make-up, but you want it done a certian way, then you should pay for it. In my opinion hair and make-up dont fall under the "usual" costs of being a bridesmaid, I think you should pay for it if you want it.

As for your friend, I would speak to her first, I have found that bridemaids usually dont care what they have to do as long as it makes the bride happy on her special day. I would be surprised if she didnt feel the same way. I'm sure she will do whatever you want with a smile on her face.

Answer 8

I know it seems to be the big thing these days to have all the bridesmaids hair and makeup done professionally, but the fact is, you need to look at finances, even more than etiquette. Not only your finances but theirs. These are women you like, your friends. Obviously you liked them for more than their appearances. Why not just let each woman decide for herself how she can look best? Twenty years from now how they looked won't be important to you, but how you were their friend will be.

Answer 9

My SIL paid for all the girls in the wedding to get their hair and makeup done at a spa. Way expensive in my book, but okay. Jewlery, she bought us stuff from Icing, Claire's. We also got some stuff from Victoria's Secret. I actually didn't care either way. They had a over the top wedding, My hubby and I paid for ours out of our pocket. No loan. Smarter decisions! Best Of Luck.

Answer 10

The make-up I'm not too sure on.But I know that as a gift, a bracelet would be the way to go--all the same.That way they will take nothing from the dress or hair.Let the women know where you plan on getting your make-up done and the price.They need not know who's paying.Be sure they know that they pay their way.A small bracelet with a small charm that has the date on it will be nice...Oh,CONGRATULATIONS....