Preparing for my sisters death after her Gastric bypass?

Question

My sister is a 43 year old manipulator who is always used to getting her way even if she has to lie and cheat to do it. She learned that from our mother. My sister is an RN and was only 40 pounds overweight but conned her doctor into signing her off for a gastric bypass. She went from 155 to 94 lbs and her mother is so pleased but tells her that she needs to lose just another 10 to get down to a size 2. My sister looks horrible, her skin turned yellowish and her hair is falling out and she has a bald spot on the top of her head. She is weak and looks like she has cancer. The skin on her face has sagged and you can see her bones. However, our mother thinks that my sister looks great. I did everything I could to stop her from getting this unneccessary surgery done but It didnt work. At this rate, I dont expect her to be alive next year at this time. I am preparing myself for her death and feel sorry for her 2 boys. Well at least they wil carry out a thin body for her funeral.

Answer 1

What happened to all of the follow-up medicals here ? Usually for some time after such a surgery-- there are VERY concentrated medical exams and countless follow-ups----Did these even happen with this woman ? Surely, after a particular point here-- Someone with Some authority would have started throwing up red flags and doing something to stop the decline in the situation if they were actually doing their job !!
I am truly sorry for the situation that you're in here--watching the demise of a family member-- for what ever the reason -- is not an easy or good thing (been there --have a lot of t-shirts) !!

My advice and answer here is not to be burying this woman BEFORE she passes---- as long as there is life --there is hope-- and it sounds as though there is a need here for some genuine hardcore intervention !!! Get in touch with some medical people and council with them about this--- there may be a way that your sister can be determined to be in a state of mental instability at the moment and detrimental to her own health and well being--- should THAT be possible--- she might possibly be incarcerated even against her own will and treated for this obsessive behavior and THAT might be the ticket to actually Saving Her Life !!!

Good Luck with all of this------and Hope You Find a Way to Save a Life instead of just finding a way to watch one leave !!!!

Answer 2

How awful for you to see your sister this way, and slowly getting worse it seems. I can read the worry in your letter even though she is a "manipulator", and you don't see eye-to-eye over her weight loss. Have you told your mother how worried you are and tried to make her face the reality of how your sister really looks? Is there any point in trying to see her doctor, and expressing your concerns? She should be having follow-up check-ups I imagine. It sounds as if there is something seriously wrong here. Even though you don't agree with what she has done, you should try to get her some help if only for her boy's sake. let me know how it goes.

Answer 3

I understand you anger towards your mother and yet I am much more enraged at the doctor! No decent doctor would have carried out such a damaging and unnecessary operation especially when there are so many less threatening a more resonable procedures to take care of 40 unwanted pounds! My beef and possible suit would be with the doctor!

Answer 4

Find out what the arrangements are for who will have custody of her children when she dies. Although you don't mention him, I'm assuming the father is still in the picture. If so, try to build your relationship with him. He'll need help with his kids, and you might be in a position to provide it.

I'd also recommend looking for support groups in your area, specifically groups for the family members of those with eating disorders. They will be in a better position to help you than advice on the Internet.