I ask this because i have seriously conflicting opinions on seeing my fiancee with another guy. Part of me would flip if i caught her with another guy but another part of me badly wants to sit and watch whilst she gets it on with a more manly male than myself. Can a couple swing like this without it seriously affecting their relationship. I'd like to think that after it happened i could just forget about it and we could carry on as normal but part of me thinks that it would ruin our relationship forever. What should i do???
2007-01-31 23:51:09 · 21 answers · asked by wildchild44 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes, it will change your relationship forever- you already know this instinctively. You're just trying to justify it to yourself via other's responses.
But you've already heard your own answer from within.
2007-01-31 23:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by center of the universe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, swinging is not a good idea for you. At least not right now. What you're describing sounds more like cuckoldry, which involves some degree of humiliation or degradation on your part. Swinging isn't really the same thing. We like seeing our spouses with other people because it brings them pleasure, not because we want to see someone else - someone outside of our relationship - as a dominating alpha male/female character.
Also, you won't be able to just walk away from it without making peace with it somehow. You won't be able to just tell yourself that it was just a dream. You'll have that picture in your head over and over and over again, and if you don't like that picture, it will haunt you. If you have ANY doubts whatsoever, do NOT go forward with it! Research the hell out it (see the link below) and talk to one another until you just can't talk any more. The kind of talking I'm speaking of feels a bit like emotional vomiting. Unpleasant, but cleansing. You need to vomit up the truth until you get the dry heaves! Then, if you both are still interested in bringing a 3rd party into your sex life, proceed slowly and with caution. To answer you question, from what I have seen, swinging doesn't work if you are doing it against your better judgment. If it makes you feel like you are doing something wrong or harmful to yourself or to others, you are. Don't do it until you can do it with a clear conscience and completely sober.
2007-02-03 11:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u have any doubts at all dont do it! It can be a fun thing between consenting adults but if there are emotional ties it could just turn yuk. If u and ur girlfriend can honestly sayto each other that it is just fun and it wont happen with out the other or at least the other knowing about it then go for it and have a great time. who knows u might make some lifelong friends out of it, and if nothing else it will be a memorable experience. If not dont do it. Its something u nd ur partner need to discuss.
2007-02-01 00:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by suzi Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some couples do it and don't have a problem with it but that's because they have an open relationship where they agree to have sex with other people all the time but they don't put their feelings into its just sex to them. Its sounds like you all are fairly young and I wouldn't suggest you do it. A friend of mine and her husband did it with someone that didn't' live to far from them and she found that when she would go to work they kept the relationship going and he eventually left her for the other woman. I would suggest you not get into something like that unless you are not serious about her.
Why don't you all try role playing and you can be a different man or the more masculine man that you want to her to be with and maybe tape it and watch it....hopefully that will satisfy your craving to see her with another guy but most guys I know would not want to see their woman with another man.....you are treading on dangerous ground, my advice would be DON'T DO IT.
2007-01-31 23:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal opinion - don't do it. Fantasize in your head, talk dirty with her about it, but don't actually do it. You can't "forget" about it. Sex should be intimate between the 2 of you only. If you share that with other people, what do you have left that's just for the 2 of you??
2007-01-31 23:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of couples doing that, and they are still together. But it's not very good overall for the relationship. Something's bound to happen.
2007-01-31 23:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Benvenuto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she mentioned anything? Have you any reason to believe that she's into that sort of thing? If not I wouldn't bring it up. Forget this idea and be happy with who you are. Get a mirror and watch you and your girl.
2007-01-31 23:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chris, the long term effects on you are VERY bad. It will damage you and you will lose respect for yourself and your mate. This idea appeals to the most ugliest of human disire...don't do this or you will regret this filth every day for the rest of your life
2007-01-31 23:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i honestly beliveve that if u love some one seeing them with someone else will always hurt and u will always remember it and not good remember. i personally can't sit by or join in while the man i love gives another girl the pleasure i feel when we go at it, it will kill me, what he has is mine and mine only
2007-02-01 00:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by jules 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Swinging only truly works if there is no jealousy involved...
Would you be able to find another guy willing to be watched while he does your fiancee??? I'd offer to help out... :D
What about her watching you with another girl??? Or you watching her with another girl???
2007-01-31 23:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋