... and feels that he is emotionally abused as I talk too much... what can I do to show him that he is doing something wrong without him saying he is emotionally abused. At times i resort to texing himsms's talking about such problems which then he doesnt respond to... Remember am 3 months preg.. for that matter his child... wil be a mother of two poor me.. wil i ever find another man who will accept me with my squad of two kids at my yearly ages of 30's as I woman I thought by now I would be far in life..... but some men heish... they seem not to really know what they want Why?????
2007-01-31 23:46:29 · 9 answers · asked by Mama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need couples guidance / counselling, he has issues that he needs to resolve, and he must learn to talk about it.
2007-01-31 23:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real man knows what he wants and isn't afraid to talk about his feelings. Mind you, not every day but, if something is bother him, he should confide in you. If you want to work it out with this guy, I suggest you take him to a thearpy or tell him that he needs to be more open or you can have your child on your own. His behavior isn't a good example for your children. He's being very childish and immature and it's up to you to decide if you want to continue to baby him or give him a choice to grow up and be a man.
As far as a guy wanting you even though you have two kids, well, I don't know, I'm not a guy. I'm sure some men don't mind single mothers and are perfectly happy to date you. I don't know why you said "poor me" when you refered to having two children. Children are a blessing. Some women would love to have one child, let alone two. You are not in a no hope situation so I'm not sure why you said that. You did choose to have these children. Instead of focusing on "poor you", you should focus on the wellbeing of your children and making sure they grow up in a healthy enviroment.
2007-01-31 23:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by FactoryGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, there are men out there who will accept you and you little ones. If a man really likes you and grows to love you he will proudly enjoy the rewards of being a positive male role model/ father figure to your children. I'm not saying the guy has to be their dad but he would be willing to let them know he cares for them as they are a part of you!
As far as you talking with your current guy. Some men don't want to hear their faults or have them pointed out to them. With that being said, it will take tact and some serious psychology from you to communicate to him without him feeling attacked. I don't know enough about you to tell you if you are being abrasive or pushy or not.
I think the key to reaching someone about their short comings is by changing the tone of the conversation. What I mean is don't start off a conversation like "we need to talk" or "why do you always ___" or something to that effect. Have a soft toned conversation. Start talking about something happy or that you liked that reminded you of him. Than somewhere in that conversation just say something like "If WE could be better at ___". The key would not be saying "him" but "we".
Though you may or may not be part of the short coming, let him know that you are part of the whole with him. So, throw yourself in there and point some things out about you and him. That way it wont feel like and attack, rather constructive criticism. Let him know that he is good for you and good to you... and you know he has better. Just like you do... remember to include you in everything you say about him.
As far as sending txt messages go don't use it as good old fashioned communicating. If he doesn't get straight than you know what to do. I am sure you are a beautiful woman and have lots to offer and don't forget that! So if you are draining yourself emotionally by trying to patch up dents and dings in your relationship than it may be time for you to move on.
It is easier said than done, I know this for sure but you are at least thinking in the right direction. I hope you have some "real" emotional support in your corner either way.
Take care and stay beautiful!
2007-02-01 00:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by Jimmy P. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to disrespect men, But alot of them just don't grow up as fast as they should.
Your b/f seems to be going through something right now.
He can't use being emotionally abused to justify what he does.
Many many ppl are emotionally abused & never let it affect the ppl they care for.
He seems to still react like a child himself.
Your going to have 2 children soon, Do you really need him being your 3rd?
It's not a great role model for kids to be around a person like that.
As far as men out there who would want a woman with kids...SURE there are alot of men who would love you & step up to the plate for you & your kids.
You have to make decicions for not just you but for your kids now too.
I'm confident that as a mother , you will do the right thing for all of you once you really think it through.
Best of luck to you Hun.
2007-01-31 23:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counselling is a good idea if u wanna make it work, but if not, then ditch him... he sounds passive-aggressive. there are tons of families nowadays that are formed by 2 people who have children from previous relationships. step-siblings and step-parents are very common and there are many happy families who didn't start out as family. So don't worry - you can find a good man out there who will accept you and your 2 kids, just be fair to yourself (and kids) and don't settle. Find a man who will love you and respect you and treat you the way you want to be treated.
p.s. in response to Hilda's answer - having a baby DEFINITELY DOES NOT change a man's personality
2007-01-31 23:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like not the best of relationships to be in. Counselling may help.
2007-02-01 00:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop nagging him so much! The poor guy's hen-pecked! He probably works all day at a really stressful job and then comes home to relax and you're all up in his face! I'm sure he'll change once the baby comes. And if not, offer him oral when he comes home from work!
2007-01-31 23:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
just an excuse! he doesn't want to listen to you, or pay you any attention;show him that you can find someone who will do those things, this is '07 baby and you need to stand up or get walked all over!
2007-01-31 23:56:55 · answer #8 · answered by tc2gibbs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a real man and lose that *****.()
2007-01-31 23:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Saint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋