my mother-in-law has threatened to report me to the social services because.....?

Question

she thinks im forcing her daughter to go back to work after having our baby.
My son is 4 months old, things are a little tight where money is concerned, because my partners maternity allowance is due to be stopped, so it has been decided between us that shes going to look for a part time job.
I offered to get a part time job myself, aswell as my full time job, but my partner said its not fair on either of us, because she looks after the baby all day, and if i was to get a part time job as a barman, which is the job i would get, then i wouldnt get to be with my son very much, and also my partner wouldnt get any time to herself.
so anyway..
theres been a history of hostility towards me from the mother-in-law, after i confronted her about taking my son out in her car when she hadnt put his seatbelt on, and i was definatley polite, but she still kicked off.
So she will be reporting me for not supporting my family, although my partner and son has never gone without.
Please advise!!!

by the way, the issue with not putting the seatbelt on was a big issue, and i wasnt at all pleased with the mother-in-law.
and i definately do make sure my child is always buckled up!

My mother will be looking after our baby, and she is a qualified, and registered childminder, so i have no worries about him being looked after for a couple of days a week.

Answer 1

Stuff like this really ticks me off. How dare she threaten you and you family! Be sure that social services would not even investigate something so petty. From what you stated here, your child will be provided with proper child care and not left alone while both of you are at work. You are not placing your child in danger. You are not abusing your child and you are not neglecting your new borns needs Protective services only will get involved if there is potential of danger to a child.

I hope that your mother-in-law will not waste a social workers precious time by calling in this nonsense.

Answer 2

Take it from me...you are doing absolutely nothing wrong! Plenty of mothers return to work shortly after having a baby because of circumstances. Some even want to...

My son is 7 months old now, he has been with a childminder since he was 4 1/2 months old. He does really well, he benefits from mixing with the other children that the childminder looks after. Also, she always arranges little outings for smaller children with other childminders in the area. He is a fully stimulated, thriving, happy little boy. I see no reason why your child should not benefit like this (especially as the childminder is your mother!)

Let your mother-in-law phone Social Services, give her the number even, I guarantee she will make a complete fool of herself. Your partner will benefit from a PT job also! Don't worry! (Oh and the mother-in-law sounds like a lunatic if you don't mind me saying so.)

Answer 3

Instead of waiting for your mother in Law to contact the social services, you should contact them first and tell them everything that is going on between you and this mother in law. That way when she does make the report social services will already have the information and know that you are doing everything properly and they can then flag this old biatch's complaints and scrutinize them everytime she makes a complaint.

In my state it's the law to buckle up everyone in the car, if we don't we get a ticket and each time caught again the fine goes up, and after 3 violations of this type the driver license is revoked.

Good luck with this and hope things work out, nothing wrong with letting your wife go back to work part-time it will give her a break from the baby and allow her to have some free time.

Answer 4

Everything you say is sensible and constructive which makes you sound like an intelligent, caring guy. What I don't understand is if what you say is all true why you have posted this question? You must already know she can't report you for anything. Here in UK I am sure our Social Services have much more to be concered about than a wife going out to work. Seat belt issue is a BIG problem but with that you must also know you are 100% correct. Sorry to ask this but is there anything you aren't telling us?

Answer 5

I wouldnt worry about it, she is probably feeling a bit jealous because your mother will be looking after the baby and not her. The social services will not bother because your baby is being well looked after and loved. They would be more concerned about her forgetting to fasten the car seat belt.

It will do your partner good to go to work part time because its very hard to spend all your time at home looking after a child. Its nice to go to work and have a bit of time where u are just urself and can mix with other adults.

Answer 6

The details are a bit sketchy to me but I can't see how she can report you for that.
If your wife wants a part time job to help with the bills & you have a reliable sitter it should be fine.
With a small baby it may cost you more than your wife makes to get a sitter though.
Having a baby is expensive but you don't have to be rich to provide for the child.
Your Mother In Law does seem concerned but is definantly over stepping her bounds.
I would just tell her to do what she feels she needs to do, But let her know that her betrayal won't go without a price.
If she did this to me then I think I would refuse to have her near my family.
She seems to be a destructive person and you need to protect your family.
Good Luck

Answer 7

Perhaps your partner needs to talk to her mother and tell her to back off? Especially if it's an agreement between the two of you. Are you sure that your partner didn't tell her Mom you were making her, because maybe her Mom was getting on Her case about going back to work? Maybe in defense against her, she twisted the story so that you would carry the full brunt of 'mother's' tirade? Perhaps you should start documenting things in a diary, things she says, things you all do etc....just in case the mother reports you.

Answer 8

Don't worry about it.Your mother-in-law has no business telling you what you & your wife should or should'nt do.Your mother-in-law sound's like a control freak.Tell her to go ahead and call and report you because nothing is going to happen.I don't know what state you live in but I live in Florida and i am a Guardian Ad Litem and I work for the department of children & family services and from what you have said there is no abuse or neglect concerning your child's well-being.If she reports you ofcourse we have to respond to the call and come out but I can guarantee that your case will be UNFOUNDED. and the case will be closed your mother-in-law could also face charges for filing a false report so don't worry about her she is threatening you with no justification and she will be the one in trouble not you and your wife.If you need further advice feel free to e-mail or IM me and I will be happy to help you out.Also in florida the grandparents have no rights.Enjoy your new baby and don't worry about your mother-in-laws idle threats..

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry about your mother in law she has no grounds to go to the social services and if she does there will be no evidence of neglect to your child. I have two young children and work part time and i don't think social services would be bothered as long as the children are well looked after.

Answer 10

What exactly does this idiot of a woman think she is going to report you for?

as you and your wife have sat down and discussed whats best for you as a family I take it you both decided which is best child care for your son also then why is she interfering..

Both you and your wife should politely sit her down and tell its none of her business what you decide if she is really concerned instead of watching you both have to give important time up with your son why doesnt she lend a hand with his child care.. This would save on child care expenses and maybe your wife could do partime work if you need extra cash have you considered partime work from home then you could still see your son..

Personally I think social services would ask her exactly what is it she expects them to do as its a domestic personal family matter..
As for her hostility toward you ask her what her problem is with you as you feel she has one see what she says then sort it out at least your making the effort..

My mother-in law used to try and interfere I just said if we require your oppinion on our personal life then we will ask for it dont stick your nose where it doesnt belong i dont meddle in your marriage so keep out of mine...

Sometimes you have to be blunt they understand better its her problem not yours has your wife said anything about her behaviour toward you.. she should speak to her also tell her look mum Im an adult can make my own descisions Im a married woman with a child and me and my husband wil decide whats best for our family...

Good luck

Also how can she say your not providing for your family when you work full time is she crazy or just plain stupid and I meant to say tell her yeh call socila services mind to tell them your forgot to put my sons seatbelt on you may find they visit you not us..

You have nothing to worry about where SS is concerned they may tell her to seek psychiatric help the woman is and utter idiot