He then said if I want him to meet me without his wife I need to have my head examined. I know this is my stepmother telling him to tell me this. He spends time alone with her kids all the time! She doesn't allow me to come to her house or him to spend time with me. She just rules the roost and he is a wimp! She is just after his money and wants it to be her house and her kids. I told him if he can only visit every five years I don't want to see him anymore. I told him they are the ones that need professional help then if she won't even allow him to spend time with his kids. How do I stop this madness, just stop talking to him? I am so angry with him, I can't sleep at night. What do I do now, just stop talking to him and move on with my life? I have had it with him. He is always making smart comments to me also, I know a lot of this is her. I don't want anything to do with him anymore.
2007-01-31 23:03:53 · 5 answers · asked by WhiteRain 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
He gets a star for bad father.
2007-01-31 23:10:55 · update #1
I'm sorry for your pain, I went through it with step-fathers. It's not her telling him to do it, they just want you to except that they are a family and they know your not doing that. He should spend time alone with you, but you also have to try to except his new family, you are the only one suffering right now. Try to ask your dad if you make an effort to be part of their family could he please find time for you, that it's important to you and do it without anger. Do it with love. Love is stronger and always wins. Whether you like it or not, her kids are you step-brothers/sisters now, and it won't go away no matter how hard to wish it to. If you love your dad as much as I think you do, you want your dad to be happy, and if he's happy with this stepmom of yours, than it makes you look bad because now you are the source of his pain. Back up and try another approach, softer, loving and see how it goes. I lost my mom for awhile when I was younger over a stepdad and it was too painful not to have her. Good luck. You're lucky to have a dad, mine died from cancer when I was 2.
2007-02-01 00:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by Baw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're hurt and you're angry. I regret that your dad and his wife have done this to you cause you're feeling bad and it's because adults are behaving poorly.
Know this, he's not rejecting you, he's probably overly supportive of her. If he has failed at a relationship before then he could be afraid of failing at his current relationship.
Two things that could happen here are a) one day he'll wake up and realize that he has married a controlling shrew and do something about it OR b) he's stuck but you don't have to be.
By that I mean, enjoy your life and activities without him.
Do you attend a church or play sports? One of the most fun things that a person who finds themselves parented by an immature adult can do is to find a mature adult to pinch hit or substitute as a 'stand-in' parent. Pick someone mature, ask your Mom or your coach or your Sunday School teacher or some other nurturing adult who they think would make for a good "play" Dad.
Who knows? You might wind up having a ball!!!
You seem to be placing a lot of time, energy and worry into someone who is unable to meet your needs at this time. Why not invest that time and energy elsewhere? Get out and make some friends, have some fun and stop asking for validation and friendship from someone who is unable to meet you at the corner for a corned beef sandwich. Is he a jerk? Sure he is. But should you continue to chase him when he has indicated lack of interest, spine or character? Nope, you have better things to do.
Perhaps an uncle or someone can teach you how to fish or build a deck or other things dads teach their children.
You'll never know until you ask. And you can explain the situation to a genuinely nice adult, they'll listen and they'll care.
2007-01-31 23:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes she rules the roost and she rules the roast. He is cooked and will not get uncooked. Pleasure controls all men in one way or another. Look to yourself and be all that you can be . There is a weakness for the outsiders in life. The winners circle makes us feel left out and we need love to be happy. Look for a friend on your waveband then you will understand better. We must not seek approval from the winner-players in life or we will be depressed evermore.
2007-02-01 03:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I think you answered your own question here. You don't want anything to do with him anymore. Write him a letter saying you would love to see him on his own, but you don't want to be forced into a relationship with his new wife. Don't make any accusations, just say how you feel about things. Then, wait and see.
2007-01-31 23:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im sorry, I couldnt imagine myself not wanting to see my little girl.....(im still married, so thank god im not in that situation) and anyone who tried to stop me from seeing my little angel would be kicked to the curb quick fast and in a hurry. Tell him how you feel, You may have to cut your losses. I hope for your sake he comes to his senses, family is family.....good luck riff
2007-01-31 23:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by filch_felonious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋