my five year old son is being bullied ?

Question

my five year old son is being bullied at school which is causing him to become very badly behaved at school eg he threw paint all over his teacher the other day and is on supervision at playtimes !! i have tried to speak with the school and tell them that he is being bullied by one boy in particular but the school are adement that it is my son that is the trouble maker and wont have it that this boy is bulling him !! i know my son wouldn't lie to me about this what can i do if the school wont listen to me !!! my son achieves very well in class work so it worries me that this will change if the bullying continues !

Answer 1

Bandit is right, that is what the order of contact should. Based on my own messy experiences with dopey Principals and their equally dopey staff may I make another suggestion? By the way, I have actually employed this once or twice and it works a charm!! At your first opportunity near the child in question, crouch down to his level and tell him that your son's daddy is 6'2" and reeeeeeeally big and strong. Then ask him would he like him to come and sit on him and squash him???? That way if repeated, its ridiculous enough to deny............ :)



CHEERS

Answer 2

Obviously your son does NOT respond to spanking or you wouldn't be having this issue.... Re-home the dog. That is the ONLY responsible thing you can do at this point. If you allow the bullying to continue then the dog will eventually retaliate with his teeth. While i'm a strong believer that kids learn by experience, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to let the dog bite him - could do way too much damage as i doubt it would be a warning nip.... And once a dog bites a child it cannot be re-homed for fear of it happening again - dog would essentially be ruined and possibly have to be euthanized. Again, because i doubt the dog would give a simple warning nip considering what your son is doing to him. I would also suggest getting counseling for yourself and your child. It's disturbing that he seems to be having fun tormenting the dog. At that age he should be able to understand the concept of "hurt" and should not be actively looking to inflict pain on an animal..... You could probably use some pointers in how to curb the behavior as well (considering spanking obviously doesn't work.) Vie - there is a MAJOR difference between a child's curious tormenting and tormenting for the sake of tormenting. A five year old may be curious and may poke/pull at a new pet, but MOST will stop when a dog yelps or when the parents correct the behavior first or second time around. A child who laughs when a dog reacts negatively to being tormented is NOT normal and IS something to be concerned about. My 5 YO cousin hit my dog with a plastic bat, once. He was around 3 at the time. He seemed utterly mortified when my dog yelped and ran away. Then he got a good hard swat and put on time out. He was not allowed to play with the bat again. Later that day he, of his own volition, apologized to my dog. He never did it again. THAT would be more on par with "normal". I can understand how a young child might think a yelping or growling dog is "funny" at first, especially if they've never been exposed to such a thing, however at five years old the child SHOULD be able to understand that he is causing the dog pain. Especially if mom has explained it to him and "punished" him for pulling ears/tails/etc. THAT is where "not normal" comes into play concerning the laughing at the dog's reactions to his poking/pulling.

Answer 3

I would take this straight to the head teacher, tell them that whilst you do not condone or encourage your son's behaviour that it is a reaction to the bullying he is suffering and the fact he feels unsupported by the teachers. Be firm with your son though, explain to him that whilst the bullying is unfair it is not an excuse for him to lash out because he will only make trouble for himself. Encourage him to tell his teacher every time this other child does or says something and although it is hard not to retaliate, whilst it is tempting to tell your child he should just hit back, in the long run he will only end up in trouble for fighting and unsupported again about the fact the child was bullying him at the time.
If the school is very adamant that they won't do anything then the school is not the right one for you or your child. Move him to a school where you can trust the staff.
Also it is possible that your child is lying, children do lie I would keep an open mind but also remind the school that they have a duty to your child aswell as any others and any accusations of bullying should be investigated thouroughly and not dismissed in the way they seem to have. Tell your son that whilst you support him if he is being bullied he MUST tell you the truth because if he is found out to be lying it could cause Mummy and him a lot of trouble and embarrassment when he is found out. Kids will lie even to their parents to get out of trouble or shift blame to someone else, all kids do it even her above who seems to think she is a saint and all kids are robots.

Answer 4

YES, definitely document EVERYTHING and ALL contact with the school. Write down every day what your son tells you. Who you spoke with at the school, what time and day, etc. You could try to speak to the parents of the child, but that may not be advisable either. If the school continues to do nothing, take them to court. Local magistrate will see into this. The school has a duty and responsibility to protect ALL children and if they are not, you have a case. Sad, but kids are smarter than teachers when trying to get away with something. Obviously, they have yet to catch the other kid in the act.

Answer 5

These are the stages you have to follow - preferably in writing. If you fail to obtain satisfaction at each stage you then progress to the next.
1. To the class teacher.
2. To the head.
3. To the Chair of governor's of the school
4. To the Local Education Authority
5. To the Governmental Department - in England DFES.

The school will have a complaints procedure - you have a right to see the document - as k for it at the school office. However if the school is not willing to assist you then you may need to think of another school.

Are you absolutely sure they are wrong though? You may just be, naturally a little biased.

I have been on the governeing body of 5 schools in my lifetime.

Answer 6

You are definately not getting the full storey from your son. If he is behaving aggressively then that is a reaction to his upbringing not the other child. The other child is probably bullying him because he has this behaviour & "bites" easily. I think you are turning a blind eye to the fact that your son may have some problems that need to be dealt with by you & his father - not the school. If your son were at a different school i'm sure you would find the same situation occuring. Ask the teachers for specific events etc to support their arguement, then give them your list.

Answer 7

Its a hard one to answer because nobody knows your child like you do.......I thought my five year old daughter was the perfect child (yeah right) and she is generally really good and doesn't have any problems at school - but - I have caught her out telling fibs.
On the otherhand, if your son IS telling the truth - I would go at the school with everything I had and I would try to speak to the parents of the other boy too.....If that failed, I would contact the school governers and my local authority too.

Good luck - I hate bullying!!!

Answer 8

Sorry to say this but they haven't invented a child yet who doesn't tell lies. They do it, so it is entirely possible your son is being deceptive.
Have the school document every incident, have them fill out behavior reports. Go to the school and observe. Unless you are there to see the bullying either by your son or the other child you can only accept what those who are there have to tell you.
In what way does it benefit the school to lie to you about your son?

Answer 9

Teach him to fight. The reason most kids get continually bullied is because of the whole moralistic "walk away, be the bigger person" attitude.

I was brought up this way and it took me a long time (a stupidly long time, in retrospect) to work it out. If you walk away they hit you on the back of the head and you don't see it coming. If you try to be the bigger person, you get laughed at because it's obvious you're actually the smaller person and that's why you're being picked on. If you turn the other cheek, they'll punch that one as well.

Once I did a few weights, took up karate and boxing and the growth hormones kicked in - and I finally allowed myself to turn against the "wise words" of pacifism and "proper" behaviour, I found that a good right hand and a well placed elbow stops your age old bullying troubles dead in their tracks.

I couldn't get back the three and a half years of misery that made up my high school experience to that point, but I certainly enjoyed the following eighteen months a lot more.

The sad truth is that bullies
(a) pick on those they perceive to be weak, and will continue to do so if it turns out they are weak
(b) don't understand anything other than a smack in the gob.

By all means try reason first, but if it's getting you nowhere, violence is sometimes the answer - not a nice one, granted, but it's effective.

Answer 10

each school has an anti-bullying policy - if they are not interested then go higher!!!! Contact your local education officer and advise them. They will give you more info. Realistically whether the school believe your son or not they should still act on this!!!!!!!
I HATE BULLYING!!!! Another option is speaking to the parents of the child concerned but that may not be the best thing (depends what parents aee like?)
Good luck and hope this does not continue much longer.