We were happy in a steady relationship but not financially ready to get married, when I got pregnant.None of us want a baby without being married and civil marriage with a ceremony later is unthinkable due to religion, romantic reasons and more.We are planning a decent ceremony and reception, with dinner and all, because it’s important to us.
We believe this can last forever and have a wonderful relationship – but no $..He has a decent job and is climbing the career latter –his salary will rise.I have been unemployed for months.He said he’ll save up.We’ll take a loan too, but most of the $ paying it off will come from his salary since he’ll always make much more than me.Sure, we’ll share everything because we’re married, but I can’t get over the idea that technically he’ll pay for most.I feel guilty. Should we sacrifice our dream wedding(not an expensive one, but all weddings cost)and cut costs in any way?Having a decent wedding day is as important to him as me, he’s a romantic.
2007-01-31 22:41:02 · 15 answers · asked by Jaqueline 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My family is not able to contribute either
2007-01-31 22:43:31 · update #1
Honey, if you have a baby on the way, DO NOT take out a loan to pay for your wedding. It's just one day! A special day, granted, but just one day! And what makes it special is the people and what it means, not how much it costs.
Cut those costs! It's fine for him to foot the bill, but the bill must be something that he can afford without taking out a loan.
2007-02-01 03:18:47 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although each of our weddings is a Big Day, it is passing. Your lifetime together is just that, so start out simply, and then move on to life's bigger and better things. It is starting your lives together, not the wedding itself, that is important. If you and your sweetie foot the bill, you can have more control over your wedding.
What I'm trying to say is, avoid taking a loan if at all possible, and it is possible. It does not make sense to put yourselves in debt for something that only lasts one day. You are giving the gift of yourselves to each other, and that is priceless.
Plan a small and sweet ceremony, with just family and close friends. Instead of a big church extravaganza, ask your priest or minister about doing a short and sweet ceremony in the sanctuary. The church doesn't have to do anything extra, and should be happy to acomodate you.
David's Bridal and other shops offer specials on wedding dresses. My dress happened to be 'altered, but unused', which I got for 1/4 the original price. Look around and be willing to compromise.
The Flowers and cake and the other wedding odds and ends can be also be kept sweet, simple, and yet special. Talk with florists and bakers. I'm sure they will have lots of ideas for you.
The reception/dinner isn't required. Ask your favorite restaurant about arranging a luncheon type meal instead. Some friends of mine simply had a catered picnic in a local park. The guests thought is was an wonderful switch from the usual wedding fare.
The honeymoon can come later, if you have already stretched your budget too far. Promise yourselves a special getaway - time and place to be something you two can dream about and look forward to.
Keep the wedding simple, yet meaningful. Fill your lives with love, that is what is truly important. And now that you did not take out that loan, you can set aside what you are not paying back, and give yourselves to the occasional treat or trinket to continue celebrating your lives together.
2007-01-31 23:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by sandyblondegirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the middle of planning my own wedding right now...I am a full time student and my Fiancee is the only one working so technically he is paying for just about everything (I use my extra student loan money also when I can)...
If he wants to then go ahead but I would never take a loan out for a wedding...we know we're on a budget and a tight one at that so I'm sticking to it. My dress is under $500...the cake is just over $100 and we are having it outdoors at a local park so we don't have to pay a site fee...I wouldn't say you should sacrifice your dream wedding...just do some research and compromise...what are the three most important things to you...flowers, food, satin table linens? Then budget the rest...go cheap...you can find awesome wedding gowns on Ebay for under $100...
My no compromise was a professional photographer...I want pictures to remember...so I went for a cheaper dress then the $3200 one I wanted to accomodate for the photog....menu was cut too...cash bar...and we are having pizza (everyone loves pizza!..and there is actually a local pizza place that caters and uses gorgeous silver stands for formal affairs)..so our reception cost for food is under $500 for almost 200 people!! and that includes drinks, salad, pasta, and bread...in my opinion it's only important that you have a good time and the end result should be the same no matter...you say I do...then get on with the rest of your life....budget...do some research and find the best deals.
2007-02-01 00:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for most people I'd say a loan is fine even though it is stressful simply because money doesn't matter that much when you don't have children. Because you have a baby on the way, I don't think that taking out a loan or even spending a lot on your wedding is a good idea. Babies are expensive very very expensive and forget how stressful they are on their own! Since you are choosing to have this baby, you are choosing to make all kinds of sacrifices and your dream wedding just happens to be the first one. Kiss romance goodbye and welcome motherhood. In about 18 years when your child has grown up you can have a renewal of the vows ceremony and party, but by then you might want to be spending money on your child's college education and his or her own wedding. Life is choices. You've chosen. Now, live with it.
2007-01-31 22:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been given married at Latham Park in Sioux city, Iowa.20 years in the past it value only $one hundred fifty for the day. I doubt that's as much as $500 now, besides the reality that that's totally widespread as a marriage venue. that's quite appropriate. you very almost do no longer desire plant life or decor for the venue because of the fact the gardens are so attractive. in spite of the undeniable fact that, others are good -- you're able to probable be looking someplace close to to the reception venue. call around to the stunning lodges in the area and notice in the event that they're going to lend you a ceremonial dinner room for some hours so which you would be able to beautify and have your rite. there is not any reason it would be greater effective than $50/hr. or you may attempt to barter that.
2016-11-23 19:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see it as a problem that your fiancee pays for the wedding, especially under these circumstances; but like another responder has already said, there's no need to have a wedding that is way out of the range of affordability. Just have a simple wedding. If you need to take out a loan for this I hope that it is one that you can pay back in a year or less. Spend wisely and cut out things that you know are not really necessary for the ceremony and reception.
Good Luck!
2007-01-31 22:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by asreid14 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
civil ceremony should be the way you go. Get married, save your money and several years down the road renew your vows. Or have a reception for family and friends after the civil ceremony. It's not worth going into debt having a wedding.
2007-02-01 12:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him save up for the wedding (I think it's really sweet). Try to get by without taking out a loan, you will have enough on you both when the baby comes without that added strain. I'm getting married on $2500. My wedding is comming together nicely. If you take the time to look, you can find lots of things on sale. Look on e-bay for decorations and try orientaltradingcompany.com I think that having a wedding (Even an inexpensive one) is important. It is apparantly important to both of you as well.
2007-02-01 02:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be surprised how many ways you can cut down on expenses.Food is the easiest way.The family can help lots.Ask the mothers what they can donate for food.Simple is the best.Huge salad fixins,breads,pasta salad,potato salad,baked orchili beans,the meat can be simple chicken thighs with apricot glaze.Filling and easy,just ask different ones for their contribution.Decorations are simple, go to theDollar store for the flowers and lacy dollies to decorate the tables.For your dress---simple and elegant.Your local church can be the easiest place to get for the service and reception.Start planning and buying now,so it will not be a last minute grab no matter the cost.Congratulations...
2007-02-01 07:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise NOT taking a loan out, although I am sure some people will say it's fine, but taking on a huge financial commitment for the sake of one day can lead to huge pressure after the event in paying it off, mounting interest etc. It is not wrong for him to pay for it, why not? House-hold money is pooled money, and I am sure that if you do return to work that your wages will contribute to the house hold income.
2007-01-31 22:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋