can someone please give me some advise?

Question

my ex husband wants to go down and inform my daughters school of his address so he can be notified of things like parents evening. my ex just has her overnight once a week (however i do not know where he is living even though he has my daughter overnight). my ex was violent with me but never with my daughter and im fine him having her overnight once a week but i just cant stand the thought of having to go to parents evening with him. if it is in the solicitors papers that he just has her once a week then does he have any right to start trying to interfere in everything. ser5ious advice and answers only please.

Answer 1

First of all Babe...you need to be finding out where exactly your daughter is staying when she isn't with you.
Secondly...& I understand where you're coming from here...your daughters rights are in question not yours or her fathers...however unfair that may seem to you, your daughter has the right to have her Daddy along on parents evening...it is his daughter afterall & you can't shut him out from stuff like that...as time goes on it will bother you less & less so don't let it get to you too much sweetheart...good luck for your future & good for you for sticking up for yourself & getting the hell out of there. ♥

Answer 2

Basically saying what some of the others have said, he's her Dad at the end of the day no matter what. But I would urge to find out where your ex lives so you know where she is when she's staying there, not just for piece of mind but as someone pointed out what if there was an emergency!!! Try and arrange different parents evening appointments, the school have got to be understanding about this situation. I know its hard but your daughter still loves her Dad not matter what you think of him, she'll realise the truth and make her own mind up when she's old enought o undertstand, good luck.

Answer 3

The main thing is that your daughter grows up with two loving parents who care for her welfare. I would therefore let him have the opportunity to go to parents evening if that is his wish. I'm sure your daughter would want him there - after all, he is her Dad and nothing can change that. I know that you probably want this man out of your life (and for good reason) but this may cuase problems for your daughter in the long run.

I grew up with my divorced parents at each others throats - and to be honest, the fact that they don't get on has affected so many occasions in my life......I remember I felt incredibly uncomfortable at my own wedding worrying about stupid things such as where I seat them both, the speeches, who I spent more time with etc etc.

I don't condone violence in a relationship AT ALL, but I also don't believe that he will be violent to your daughter because he was violent to you (I'm not saying you can rule this out however). The love you have for a daughter/parent is usually unconditional.

Only you know the extent of the problems that this situation could create, so I'm sure you'll make the right decision! Good luck.

Answer 4

it is very hard to deal with these things as your emotions are involved..so dont take the critical comments to heart. he does have the right to attend, i have the same situation with my ex.. we jsut organised different times to attend the parents evening so we didnt even see each other. i also spoke to the school headteacher, because there were other problems surrounding him abusing me so they were very careful about the information they gave him. the other serious point is you do not have to send your daughter overnight and not know where she is.. my ex also tried that but my solicitor said i had a legal right to know and could refuse to send them in those circumstances. unfortunately there are many occasions when you both need to be in the same place..school plays etc and they are hard, but just try to do separate times for everything...that way there is no aggro and this is better for your daughter than a tense mum because you are trying to be together at these events. good luck.

Answer 5

He is her father & so has every right to be fully involved in his daughters life, just as you do. I understand that you may be fearful of him if he was violent but i'm sure a parent - teacher meeting would not hurt your child in anyway - it's just hard for you. You need to remove yourself from this situation & think about what is best for your daughter. Another suggestion may be to have copies of reports etc sent to her father & different interviews for parent/teacher nights. If you speak with your child's school & explain the situation they may be able to accomodate this request. I think in the long run your daughter will benefit from an involved father even if it's to your disliking. I didn't get the impression you or your daughter were in danger with the current situation.

Answer 6

hello, i am in the same situation as you, well nearly. your ex does have the right to go to parents evening i am sorry. i see many people have said to you that you can get appointments on different days of even times this is true. go into your daughters school and tell them what is happening and they should be able to sort this out for you. You must find out where your daughter is when she stays with him that is your right. He has to tell you this. He can not start telling you how to bring up your Daughter as you have parental control. please keep a close eye on her he may start on her and if you are in any Way not sure don't sweep it under the carpet sort it out. good luck i know how hard it is.

Answer 7

Let him do what he wants it's his daughter as well at least he is still having an interest . Then inform the school that on parents evenings that it would be best if you were given different appointments to see teachers the school should understand your circumstances and accommodate you, as single people and not a couple.Check your papers and see what it says about schooling etc

Answer 8

If your ex has parental rights then yes, he does have the right.

If you were married when your child was born and his name is on the birth certificate then he has parental rights.

If your child was born before 01/12/2003 (which I'm presuming she is as she's at school) & you were not married to him (his name on the birth certificate or not) he will not have been granted parental rights.

Without parental rights he does not have any legal standing on your childs welfare e.g. contact from the school, GP etc.

I'd make a point of finding out where he lives as your daughter spends the night with him, for your own peace of mind if nothing else.

I would be at my wits end having my daughter spend a night away from home and not know exactley where she was. Know matter who she was with.

Answer 9

I'd be finding out where he lives if he had my daughter! Does he help pay for her schooling? If so then yes I'd say he has a right to be involved that side of things. If you were to go to a parent evening try to see teachers etc at different times so you don't have to see him. You'd really have to speak to your solicitor about the legals of it all. Ultimately you have to think what is going to be best for your daughter. Goodluck.

Answer 10

well Its his daughter and he has the right to know whats going on at her school , even though he has her just once a week he still has every right to be involved in her education and her life , why don't you know where he lives ? that sounds a bit strange to me what if you tried to call because of an emergency and couldn't get him, you couldn't even go to his place or send someone there . you need his address !!