My boyfriend and I have been off and on for nearly two years and even though things have never been perfect I can't seem to force myself to stay away from him. Everytime we split up I tell myself that it's for the best and I'm done with him. Then he calls me and as soon as I hear his voice I'm in love all over again. He always says that things will be different and that he will try harder to be the man I need him to be and he does for the first couple of months and then everything falls apart again. I don't know what to do.
2007-01-31 21:11:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The hardes thing to do is say goodbye to bad rubbish. I remember a guy I had it bad for. I couldn't see mylsef with anyone else. He treated me like crap all of the time. I was in love with being in love. Plus, he did have a couple good qualities. But, you have to ask yourself do you like yourself when you are with him? Do you feel complete with him. Are you a better person for being with him. If you can't honestly answer these questions with a yes then you need to say goodbye for good. Sounds like he likes knowing you are there when he is ready for you. He might be using that. That is what I found out I was. I was being used like a wet dish rag. I met my husband and learned you don't have to put up with guys who use you like that. He will never be the man you need him to be. You can't change a person. We are who we are. Wait for the man who will treat you with real love and respect. You will know when you find him. You will like who you are when you are with him. I am a better person for knowing my husband-if you can't feel you are a better person for having this guy in your life move on. There is a good man out there waiting to find you.
2007-01-31 21:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Off and on" for two years seems quite rocky to me. If you can't force yourself to stay away from him, it might mean a part of you really still WANTS to be around him. Now, if you DECIDE you WILL stay away from him, that might be more effective if you back it up with action. Meaning, be aware of thoughts and actions that draw you to him and consciously steer yourself away.
You said it yourself, you are better off without him. For your own sake, don't waste any more time on this guy. You deserve someone who'll make you happy and treat you the right way.
Being in love is a beautiful thing, but you have to remind yourself that in a successful relationship, love is not enough. There has to be mutual respect, understanding, compromise, a sense of responsibility, the desire to want to keep the other happy, etc. He acts as if he has changed for a few months because he thinks he can keep you this way but this is a vicious cycle that will keep happening over and over again.
Is this what you want for yourself? in five years? in ten?
I know this is a harsh wake-up call, but when you see the situation for what it truly is, I trust YOU will know what to do.
2007-02-01 05:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBearKnowzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people always view relationships as complicated. Everytime a question about relationship was asked, the response would be: its complicated. It always is huh??. If i were you i would view it in a wider and different angle. Seeing what had happened, it was a constant loop that you made due to repetetive mistakes. He may feel that he needed you sometimes but he would not bother most of the time. That is why he is doing this. Im sure u could guess my answer. Arent they simple? There are only 2 options in these kinda questions, what's so difficult?
2007-02-01 05:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by Christopher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!
If you are able to figure that out then you know what will follow. Sometimes you know what you want but you don't wanna do what needs to be done..and that's the trouble.
Sweety, if you can't live without your bf, be prepared to go crazy..haha..jk..but seriously, you already know what happened and therefore you can anticipate what will happen again.
If you choose to start a new life without him, stick and stand by it..all things will come to pass..you just gotta be stronger and prove to your bf that you can't be fooled..the reason he's prolly doing the same thing is because you're "too soft" and can easily be fooled. show him you're serious and give him some ultimatum. and don't be afraid that your bf will find someone else because if he really loves you, he wont..but if he doesn't love you things will just go on and on..worst, he would just leave you for someone else. point is, don't look too needy for his love.
a relationship should make things good for you, make you feel happy, complete..better..NOT BITTER.
Goodluck!
2007-02-01 05:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by TessA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AM GOING TO BE STR8IT FORWARD WITH U. A PERSON ONLY GETS SO MANY CHANCES. TIME AND TIME AGAIN HE SAYS IM GOING TO CHANGE, AND B THE MAN U NEED ME B 2 B. 4 AWHILE HE DOES AND THEN HE CHANGES. U DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE BY BEING ON A WILD ROLLERCOASTER RIDE WITH HIM. TELL HIM THAT U R TIRED OF PLAYING THIS GAME. EITHER HE GETS SERIOUS OR GET MOVING. A LITTLE HARSH BUT MAYBE HE'LL GET THE POINT THAT U MEAN BUSINESS.
2007-02-09 04:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by glamorousbitch09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what he has done to make you not want to be with him anymore... you need to take a month apart. 30 days. no contact. this is the best strategy. that way you can start to get your life in order and see how life is like without him. if you like it, then you are already half way there. if you realise he is the one, then you will know that for sure too.
2007-02-01 05:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by SaintAnk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to "Forlorn Hope". Take the advice and change your number right away. Don't waste anymore time on this guy. Time to move on and look for someone that is going to treat you right all of the time.
2007-02-01 05:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by sheilanoel23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find yourself a good counselor. You need to figure out why you keep going back and how to move forward.
2007-02-09 03:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by lvslwnrdr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to change your phone number(s)... Just make a complete break and have nothing further to do with him... You are obviously not meant to be together... :D
2007-02-01 05:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f is not responding your love in same proportion as you desire him. He is taking your love as a routine whereas you are very serious in his love. He is taking you as an ordinary person. and does not return your feelings of love.
2007-02-01 05:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋