Why is he doing this? I can't cope anymore!?

Question

To cut it short: I split up with my ex a month ago because i hardly saw him, he never called etc. I was getting sick of it. I was crying at night worried what was going on. I ended it. It was hard because we had soo much planned together, we planned to get engaged this month, and try for a baby at the end of the yr (due to my medical reasons). It was hard to deal with. He were contacting me here and there, saying how bad he was and that he loves me, and misses me. But never really said what he wanted, so i was confused! Then last week he said he wanted me back, so we agreed to meet up yesterday. I text him to confirm, and he said he couldnt because he had to fix his car (2nd time that we've arranged to meet he has said this) and asked if we could meet sat. I basically told him where to go because he was messing me about and told him to leave me a lone, then sent a text saying 'Sorry ***. dont know what ive done. I do love you and want you back! Where did that all come from?'

So i sent him a msg explaining that i was sick of him messing me about and if he ever cared he wouldn't do this. The thing is, we i went away at the weekend too and i got asked sooo many questions, who i went with, what i did, did i meet anyone, what i did on a night? Why is he doing this? He contacts me says something...then a couple of days later he'll contact me again! As i said to him, if he really wanted me he'd do something about it and he's hardly rushed to doing it. I'm so torn, part of me still loves him and thinks he's the one, so it's hard to let go, the other...i can't go through this any longer. I've had four weeks of this on and off. Please help! Sometimes i feel as if i don't want to be here anymore!

Answer 1

It sounds like he's been neglecting you. If you have broken up with him because of his never being around and rarely calling and he is now flaking out on you when he's supposedly trying to get back together with you ... he's not into you. I know that hurts but it's true. Listen, the plain and simple truth is that if he KNEW that you were the ONE for him... he wouldn't hesitate to do any and everything to make you happy. He's not doing that. He makes excuses. He isn't available for days because of his car, blah, blah, blah. You deserve better. Don't drag this on and don't text or call him... no matter how badly you want too. Maybe when you're really gone he'll know what he had... just make sure you make yourself a little unavailable... or he'll go right back into his old ways. I personally think you should just cut your losses now and move on. You deserve a guy who really cares and SHOWS you that he does. Ever heard the expression "actions speak louder than words" ?

Answer 2

You know the answer. I think you are in denial.
Wake up and smell the coffee .
Your "boyfriend" is immature and if you go along
with his behavior then you better expect more
heartache but some people keep going into these
relationships as we are all too blind to see our own
needs. A weak person cannot help another weak
person. Someone has to be strong or you end up
going from relationship to relationship repeating the same
mistakes over and over because you are really dating the
same type of losers. You really fear finding a strong man or women so as maybe you don't feel adequate enough for them.
Yeah, this is a lot of psycho babble but we are our own worst
enemies when it comes to love and relationships. Methinks you
expect too much and only when be disappointed. Put your trust people who are worthy of your trust..enough said

Answer 3

you two must be together for a while to discuss about engage and babies. So did he start act distant after the discussion? if yes, maybe he's anxious about it. I guess speaking for myself - not good at handling emotions and deal with it, so been easily misunderstood by others. so now I try not to make quick assumptions on people's behaviours. the best thing is to talk to him and ask if he's sure about the relationship and how does he feel - whether it's positive or negative feelings. he might not want talk about it but worth try. especially when you feel you are receiving contradicting messages from him. better do it face to face in a quiet and relaxed envoironment. listen to his words but also watch how he responses (body language and fascial expressions).

As you maybe aware, when two people separate, depends on the situation, it's common for them to miss each other. takes time to adjust to being single and alone. so it is possible he is trying to adjust to that, which might explain the phone calls.
I think we need to clear things out first then we can move on with our lives. so confront him. if he's one of those people who can not open themself then better leave him alone. because without open communication, there will be endless unhappy things ahead......
hope you can get some answer out of this and good luck!

Answer 4

When you say you don't want to be here anymore...are you contemplating hurting yourself? It sounded like it to me...honey you need to talk to someone professionally. No man or anybody should make you feel this way. If you think you might hurt yourself please dial 911 or contact your local crisis hot-line. You are worth it. As women somehow we have been taught that we need a man to complete us...and it just isn't true. Do you have a job? take a mini vacation and try to reflect on your life and how you can better yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you and aren't going to play mind games. You are above those type of people. So please stop letting them bring you down to their level.

Answer 5

i know it´s hard to let go and as you have said yourself if he really loves you then he will do everything to keep you.

it sounds like he´s just holding on to you because he himself is not sure about his own feeling to you,if i was you i would try and move on he´s confusing you and the more he does that the more you will begin to hate him for it and that's not good.

if you like give him 1 and only 1 more chance to prove himself and when he fails then shut down all contact believe me it is better for you.

life is to short to be always waiting and you never know what you have missed on the way

i hope all the best for you

Answer 6

there's a reason why you made him an ex, girl what are you doing let him play you like a yo-yo? tell him to go give his car a lube job and and do a bro-die on his *** and speed off to next fine individual that comes into your peripheral view.

Answer 7

He doesn't know what he wants. He is playing games. Forget about him. Find a guy that wants you by being with you not saying he wants to be then flaking off.

Answer 8

id just leave him alone and forget about him. hes just playin games with you. he knows that you'll take him back so he just keeps doing it. i'd get rid of him and find someone new

Answer 9

my ex acted similar to this. its not worth it sweetie. i know it hurts, but hes prolly just playing games with you. move on!

Answer 10

your setting yourself up to be hurt again, just ignore him and move on.