Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 1/2 years. A year and a half into our relationship we began having some problems. He was jealous of me hanging out with guy friends and yelled at me when my friend's boyfriend gave me a ride home when my car was messed up. I was really unhappy.
Eight months ago, he started acting weird. He became distant, and seemed like he only cared about sex. I knew he was cheating. He then said something about breaking up, and when I agreed that we should, he freaked out and said he loved me too much. Back in August, I found emails he had sent to two friends of his. He told these girls he loved them more than anything. I broke up with him, but he freaked out. I took him back and things seem better. He's more mature. I'm worried that he'll cheat on me again. He does so much for me and I know he loves me...but he took advantage of me and freaked out when he knew I might leave him. He has been his old self again but should I trust him again?
2007-01-31 20:15:06 · 14 answers · asked by In_Love 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He lied to me about these girls and said nothing physical went on...but how do I know he's telling the truth about that? He lied about these girls in the first place.
I don't know what happened with the 2nd girl, but he spent more time with the 1st one than me for weeks and even had her over at his house to spend time with him and his family.
I'm having serious trust issues with him now. Sometimes, it just doesn't feel right with him anymore. I love him and I want to make it work but I just can't seem to move on and I keep thinking he might do this again. I'm still just so hurt by everything. He tells me I need to move on but I'm just too scared that he'll do it again.
2007-01-31 20:19:02 · update #1
It seems to me that in your hart - you already know the answer to your question. I know it is hard and that love and breaking up is pain full, but if a guy cheats on you once, chances are very good that he will do it again. If you keep on giving him another chance - it just shows him that he can cheat, you won't leave. If he gets angry with you and threatens you when you want to break up - it means danger! You sound like a nice person - you should get out of this while you can, get yourself a guy that appreciates you and treats you with the respect you deserve... Good Luck in what ever you decide.
2007-01-31 20:27:22 · answer #1 · answered by Juanita L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u have lost ur trust on him, then it's time to let go or problems will start rising...anyways, lots of guys/girls misuse the word LOVE, they can say it bt can they mean it?? Once again, a cheater will always be a cheater. Guess he is just trying to be selfish, keeping u and having another girl at the same time, if that girl ain't there for him, u are...that's why u said he only cared abt sex...think abt that! Am a guy...i've heard weird things coming out from guy's mouth myself and i totally disagree with that behaviour. A guy friend told me once, one girl is never enough. Another friend, before he was married, hangout in those clubs whr beautiful girls gives u "extra service" while having a great gf which he actually married and have 2 great kids and stop going to those places.
2007-01-31 20:27:26 · answer #2 · answered by DooGie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he must have cheated on you for some reason, maybe he wanted a change, sometimes guys get- well not exactly bored, but they take their partner for granted. Being with him for so long may have made him think that you will never leave him. But when you did, he woke up. and knew that he can lose you and that your not gonna be forgive him or overlook things.
Trust him for now, but if he repeats it again or acts weird then don't 'break-up' with him, but at least take a break. Opt to see other people and see if you two are happier without each other or happier with others.
2 and a half years is really long gal! congrats!... keep it strong and if he acts a little distant don't suspect, get all angry or disappointed, maybe he just needs space... all guys go through it!.
c ya! take care!
2007-01-31 20:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by Trisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know most women will disagree with me but I will say it anyway...it is not natural in the animal kingdom for one male to be with one female...in most instances. It is a battle that most women have several times in their lives. You have to understand that part of nature before you can start to heal. I say this because like you I was cheated on. At first I was angry and hurt and by all means you have every right to feel disrespected and used.
There are many things you can do.
The most important thing to do first is to be tested for all STD's. In women most STD's go on without any symptoms and without treatment you can become sterile, get cancer, or even die.
Next, you need to seek therapy on your own to find out why you allowed him to mentally force you to stay with him by his "freaking" out. You are mentally weak and he is playing on that to keep you. The reality is you have used the word "might" and it needs to be I am or I am not. You need to learn to follow through. If not he will continue to cheat because he knows you will continue to stay.
Then...ask him to go to counseling as a couple to determine if and how you both can get past this. If he says no or is uncooperative then it is time to leave him.
Lastly, I would think about the fact he had this girl around his family. That is major to me and frankly it is a deal breaker...I'd run for the hills and be thankful he saved you money on the divorce lawyer.
Good Luck
2007-01-31 20:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by aprildin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to make a go of it then I would suggest that the two of you get counseling. Tell him that if you mean that much to him he will go with you.
This is a hard thing to fix... my ex husband cheated on me and then begged me to come back to him when I got tired of it and left.
I am now married to someone else and he lives with the last person that he cheated on me with.
I don't want to say "once a cheater, always at cheater" because that is not always the case... unfortunately it often is though and trust is such a hard thing to get back.
Good luck, I hope this helps.
2007-01-31 20:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we have the same problem with our boyfriend evrytime we caught them they freak out.and we thnk that they love us and they try to get us back.but u know what this are all an act.all i can say is that thnk it any times try to separate the good thngs and the bad things that ur bf do to u if the bad are many then leave him.thats what i do to my bf yes admit i still love him but i cant take it anymore the pain he gave to me.so i better broke up with him rather to stay in pain forever.dont worry it hurts in first but after u will be fine
2007-01-31 20:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by krizzy83 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. Since you are an expert at dumping people, you have nothing to worry about, give him all the trust he need and if he abuses it, since like I said before dumping powers are vested in you , you know what to do
2007-01-31 20:30:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
oy. that's a pickle and a half. my experience - once a cheater always a cheater. BUT i'm cynical because i have been burned lots in the past. you've already been through hell, so who knows, it can only get better, right? here's the thing, when you KNOW it's over, just make sure that you actually end it.
2007-01-31 20:24:57 · answer #8 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh come now!!! Get rid of him if he's a cheater he'll always be one, his jealousies aren't going no where he is an insecure simpleton that takes things for granted, just cuz he's done things for doesn't mean it makes it all better,everyone does things for others, but if you are willing to take him as is then stop asking questions and just put up with it with a sigh as your only reaction to his where abouts.
2007-01-31 20:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet like Sees Candy's!!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know where Ur coming from my daughters father cheated on me not once but 5 times and each time he did he told me to get over it he wasn't gonna do it again.if i were u i would give him a second chance,and yes u will feel like hes gonna cheat on u again.it hardly never goes away.if he cheats on u again give him the boot.
2007-01-31 20:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by hotmamma19 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋