I have 2 kids and when my oldest(2) starts cryin and getting into everything and then my daughter (1 month) starts crying and wont sleep thru the night i feel like im going to loose my mind. ihave never taken it out on the kids but sometimes i have the most awful thoughts of what i want to do to them or my self. i know i would never hurt my children but i cant say the same about hurting myself. is it normal to feel like that under stress sometiimes or should i do something about it? im scared to tell someone cause i dont want them to think i might hurt the kids and take them. i love them so much but its hard to do it on my own
2007-01-31 19:19:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Everything is normal, besides the fact that something has crossed your mind of possibilities of what you would do TO them. I suggest dealing with your stress in a better fashion, even though it's hard to be a single parent (I could imagine). And please, for their sake, don't do anything to yourself either, okay? That's never the answer to any problems - that's just running away. If you think you need help, it's probably not the worst idea to ask a professional about how you feel. I wish you all the best.
2007-01-31 19:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♫!♫♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your doctor about the possibility of you having post natal depression honey.
Of course you get stressed, but you need some help to deal with things here.
Your children will not be removed from your care because you have admitted your thoughts, no one can have their children taken from them because of PND unless it's extremely severe, yours doesn't sound too severe.
Relax, and make a doctors appointment.
Can you have someone watch your children whilst you get more than two hours sleep? I know that coping in a sleep deprived state is almost impossible some days, so get someone to look after them whilst you rest! Perhaps you could go to some mom and baby/ toddler groups, make some friends there who understand the pressures of motherhood and see if they would be willing to start a babysitting circle- where you look after each others children from time to time, not for money, but for some time off from mothering because soon, you will look after their children in return...just a thought.
I hope that things get better for you soon :)
2007-01-31 21:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pleeeeease, talk to a doctor about this. This is your warning time. This is your chance to do something positive for yourself and your children. You know that you are slipping into dark thoughts or you wouldn't have written this question, so part of you knows that you need outside help. Don't worry about your kids being taken from you because your doctor will see that you are admitting this because you want to feel and do better. This is normal after childbirth, you have a flood of hormones and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I wish you all the best and I hope you can start to feel better soon.
2007-01-31 19:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by jillo4113 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. I'm sure every mother has had similar thoughts and feelings at least once. Only the strong ones will admit it. When I start to feel frustrated with my son, I walk into another room, take a deep breath, remind myself that I am in control, and I go back to him. The one thing about being upset with your child is that it melts away so quickly, without any grudges. Being a Mom is a stressful "job", but don't forget it's also the most rewarding and fullfilling "job" you'll ever have...:)
2007-01-31 19:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by joupedamom 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depression and stress aside, give yourself a break. Consider leaving the one or both of the kids at a relatives house or your parents if they live close. This may seem like a weird suggestion but this is very common among other cultures, for example Asian or South American. Remember, you're in this for the long haul baby, so pace yourself and start planning some 'you time'.
2007-01-31 19:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by grifokid 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not getting enough sleep and the constant stress of two little children can certainly strain one's sanity.
the good thing here is that you realize you are close to a breaking point and know that you need to do something about it.
if you can't get a friend or relative to help out and take care of the kids for a little while while you take a break, then you really do need to talk to a professional about how to manage problems.
start with your doctor and see if he can recommend someone, or call your local free mental health clinic, find a friend who is a nurse, call your pastor, but find someone you can talk to who can suggest what or who can help you.
remember, you can't hurt your babies, and if you hurt yourself you are hurting your babies' mother, and the babies need you to be healthy and happy.
2007-01-31 19:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by july 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, to a cert in extent this is normal. It is really horrible to have little babies sometimes we love them but we get tired to and you need to realize that you are going to be feel frustrated and upset. Just take some time to yourself leave someone to cry if you have to so that you don't get to upset with them. they will get bigger and it will get easier I swear. In the mean time If you do get really stressed out it is OK to tell someone. If you go to people for help that is what you will get if you didn't love your kids you wouldn't be there they would know that. You may have postpartum depression I had that and had to take meds for it I was very suicidal after my 2nd. So just know people understand hang in there.
2007-01-31 19:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by Jani Maia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a bit of post partum depression. Go see your doctor now and get some help. You would be hurting your kids just as much if you hurt yourself. Especially if you are all they have. Trust me, this to shall pass. Please make an appointment immediately. They can help you. I will pray for you. I was also a single mother but of only one child so I can only imagine what you are going through. Please feel free to email me I would be happy to talk to you to help you out. Do you have any kind of support system?
2007-01-31 23:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by peach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes what you're feeling is normal. I think every mom goes through it. Go and see your doctor who might say you have post natal depression. You also need a break from your kids sometimes, whether its going for a walk, shopping or reading - you definately need to have some you time and let dad help too.
2007-01-31 19:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by Tabby T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to feel withdrawn and not loved after a pregnecy. It will all go away in time. Just love those babies and quit thinking the harm you want to do to yourself. What would they do without you. Talk to Mom, a Sister, Aunt or anybody you feel comfortable talking to about this. they will be there for you.
2007-01-31 19:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by ECNAV61 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋