4months ago My ex left me after 5 years...she never really gave me a good excuse...some of them were I was 19 and you were 24 when we met...I'm changing now and that I'm not around a lot because of my job
any how, I knew she stopped loving me and I cant force any one to love me so I let her go and told my self it wasn't meant to be. I tried as hard as I could to get her out of my head. I succeed for the most part but sometimes she will pup into my head and when I start thinking how she broke it off it brings tears to my eyes...
why is this happening to me....am i no over her yet?
I'm a grown man for crying out loud and should be able to handle this like one to and not like a high school freshman
I'm kind of seeing this women right now, I like her a lot but not sure if I'll ever be able to love another women on a level that I did...had my hart broken one too many times.....
I'm almost 30 and I 75% sure that I do not want to get married ever and kids scare me too.....am I damaged goods?
2007-01-31 19:13:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I will answer this question with a quote for "The Godfather":
"YOU CAN START BY ACTING LIKE A MAN!"
- Don Corleone to Johnny Fontaine
2007-01-31 19:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by Tumbling Dice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damaged goods? It depends what else you have experienced. I think this is still way too fresh. Time will heal a broken heart. I think you will be able to love another woman even more...especially because when you know they love you & you love them....it's such a great feeling!
She is/was pretty young & when you get older sometimes things change...especially when you are a kid becoming an adult ya know? So my point about that is maybe this time you will find someone who is more mature & ready for what you are ready for...
4 months is a short period of time...although w/o her it may have felt longer. I think no matter what the age...a broken heart is a broken heart. So you are not handling this as a freshman...you are handling it as most humans would!! It hurts!
One thing I want to share: Don't go back. If by chance she ever came to you or you went to her and things were cool....I wouldn't do it cuz it will just prolong the hurt & BS. I say this because I was in a relationship and we went back & forth for a long time. He felt more for me though & at times throughout the relationship I knew I was playing w/his emotions..not intentionally but because he loved me...but I didn't have the same feelings as he did.
So if I was you...give it time. I wouldn't think that just because you have a girlfriend...she is the one either. No offense to her but you need time to experience a little now too. There is someone out there for you...patience may pay off and in the end you have the possibilities to be the happiest you have ever been...if you allow it.
About marriage....it's a scarey thing...I fear a marriage that could end after years etc....only to find out...he doesn't love me anymore? The only thing I can say about that is...PRAY. I will pray that God will bless me w/his will and I find love for the rest of my life. Otherwise we could spend our whole lives worrying about something we have no control over!
2007-01-31 19:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by tr95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here, I hope you don't mind me telling you my story, similar to yours, I was with this guy whom I thought I loved but not true anyways. So we were together for one year and eleven months, all of sudden it was over, I'm over him and when it ended I remember it was like a movie we drove our seperate ways and I looked behind me and said oh well things happen for a reason, and now I'm having a hard time doing or saying the things that I used to say and do. I can't really talk to a guy because I feel horriable, or I can't kiss a guy because I'll feel stupid I have no idea why I'm having the feelings that I'm having but he changed alot of the person that I used to be when I was with him and I was 16 when I was with him and he was 20 and now I'm 18 and I know deep down that I'm not the person that I used to be, but anyways back to you, I know that things take time, maybe it might take forever for you to get over it, Hope not! But you should go out and meet other people and even though sometimes you have her name across your mind think of something else, try not to think of what she did to you, because if it happend then it was ment to happen and crying about isn't going to change what happen between you two, and your damaged either, because I think I'm just scared of falling in love and giving myself to someone that I know is going to treat me good and adore me. You should let life come at you how it has to and don't worry about the past because if you keep on it then I don't think that you'll be able to live your life how your supposed to. Thinking about it, I should start taking my own advice because what I'm telling you to do I should be doing too. Oh well take care and Good Luck!
2007-01-31 19:25:25 · answer #3 · answered by natali3x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not damaged goods, but you're definitely on the rebound. Give yourself some slack. It takes twice as long to get over a relationship as the relationship lasted, so there will be reverberations for years to come. The feelings for your new friend will come or not. Keep an open mind and see things through. Getting married will come if everything is right. Same for the kids.
2007-01-31 19:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever is done can always be undone. Look on the bright side, man - you have a wealth of opportunity right there in front of you. Live how you want to live, and screw her. You've taken the first step you needed to take: Admitting that you can't make her love you. Now, all you need to do is find your balance again in stressful times. But now, you're a free man and whatever else happens is up to you. So, are you going to just sit around and cry, or are you willing to fight for something even better? If I were you, I'd find something EXTRAordinary.
2007-01-31 19:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♫!♫♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope you think that you had issues..I was married 23 years left her and was angry with everyone..I wanted to use as many women as I could and get even with as many as I could for the abuse that I had suffered I was a tough guy with a death wish and yes I suppose you could call me damaged goods but guess what ,as time went on and I kept swearing that I would be that stupid again and never never ever get married again..It took me about five years and I couldnt ever let my guard down but well one day I was looking for information about going to the philippines..I ran into this woman with the same feelings about marriage and men. .this is hilarious.I wasn t really interested in her and her neither with me..So well over time we spoke off and on and then more and more and then one day we found ourselves together and married four years and never regretted a day of it..So never write yourself off .. Just get angry and say that you will never get married dont look for anyone and dont give anyone your heart to stomp on.stomp theirs first then one day when you have come to realize that you are going to be happy alone someone will find you that isnt looking either and you will be fine and knows its the right thing cause neither of you were looking.. it happened to me and im not that special..fate comes looking for you ..and does things that you almost always say you will never do.. go good luck keep on living and let your hair down and pamper you for awhile.really it will be ok
2007-01-31 19:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you are definately not over her, second you will get over her but from the sound of it she was your first love and so you need to just move on. You will always remember her fondly but eventually you will appreciate someone else for entirely different and special reasons and she will be your new love. Frankly you may go through many girls but remember it only takes one to be THE ONE. Even if you loose 40 thgat last one that lasts forever is all it takes.
2007-01-31 19:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Twi Light 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not damaged. Your okay. Sometimes grown men have to cry out loud too. I think she is still in your mind and you think of her, but that doesn't mean you won't forget her. Maybe you should try harder and just don't allow your feelings to become so involved in a person if you can help it.
2007-01-31 19:17:07 · answer #8 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, youre really damaged. But, in due time, you'll heal. Youre gonna find "the right one" one day but until then, worry about "the right now" girls. Oh, and yeah, youre over her, youre just not over the pain that she caused you...thats why you cry when you think about what she did. If you werent over her, then you would be crying about her not being there anymore.
2007-01-31 19:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by jayfreeze18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooo, well, you are just heartbroken... you were with her for a while. it does hurt!
about the other girl, gie it time, it could be a rebound, or it could be something good! dont worry, just take time!
2007-01-31 19:18:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋