How do i teach my son what is right and wrong?

Question

My 6 yr old son is very energetic and intelligent. But he gets provoked easily. I hear that he does very well in school but he also fights with other children, only those who fight with him and not with silent ones. When I ask him how his day went, he lies and tells me that he never misbehaved. He is also very careless about his things. Please advise as to how I can make him realize that fighting is not allowed and that truth is very important. He does not fight with his cousins at home.

Answer 1

first find out why does he fight. since he does not pick on innocent ones he apparently fights to defend himself from the 'bad ones'. If you are going to tell him not to do that, for his age and maturity he will think that 'mom does not want me to protect myself' but not that fighting is wrong. this is why kids grow up to think that parents do not understand them and what not. So give him an alternative. Instead of fighting tell him to inform the teachers or something like that. let him realise that fighting will lead to worse things and only he will end up in trouble and not the ones who had troubled him in the first place.


First do not show that you are upset or anything like that about his behaviour. Do not tell him in any way that he is wrong. This will only repel him further away from you. Make him feel comfy.. so just simply ask him if someone has been bothering him and how he reacted to it. tell him everything with love and a gentle smile on your face that way he will not feel 'fear' and 'run away' or tell lies to you. do not rush him either.

when he starts to open up and stuff dont tell him right away that fighting is wrong - because to him it is not. when you tell the opposte of what he believes in, thats it. again he will repel from you. instead tell hi why did he fight and how did that make him feel. tap on his head or something that will make him calmer and releases him from his anger or whatever emotion he shows.

now you give him an alternative. tell him to this instead. again do not say that ' go tell your teacher but do not fight'. dont mention the words 'do not fight'.

instead move on and say that by fighting how the situation backlashes him instead.

now that he knows other ways to solve his problem and know why fighting is not the solution he wont fight again. but by any chance he did, ask him why and well make him speak.

about the lies... i think he is lying because he feels that you may not understand him. so let him know that you are there for him always and he can always share things with you. why dont you start sharing what happend at work or what you did at home. make some jokes out of it. tell him the drama/movie you had watched. tell him how some dude fell on his first day of work. that way he too will learn to talk to you about his day. you dont have to tell him to do that but he will automatically know this and will do that. be close to him. but just make sure that he grows up to be a cofdent, respectful, humble, obdient,cool, active, energatic boy but not end up getting behind mother's back every other time. let him think, use his brains, let him decide but yet come to you before doing anything becuase he knows mom knows the best.

Answer 2

He's a bit old to be starting that, but time isn't completely lost.

First, examine what you believe about right and wrong.

Do they exist as varying ideas for each person (is that okay?)?

Are there absolutes in life?

Do you believe in a source for these absolutes?

Social-Contract theory: there may or may not be absolutes but I know that I don't want you to steal my toys, so we are all going to agree that my toys are mine and yours are yours, and stealing will be punished.

Religious Doctrine: you shouldn't do ___ because Someone or Something is more important than you and has said so (this kind of takes the "Matilda" movie "I'm bigger and smarter, so you have to listen to me approach).

Some Spiritual beliefs: You'll get rewarded for following certain arbitrary rules in life (these rules are often the kind of thing that keep you from causing pain or loss in the lives of others).


Judeo-Christian: there are moral absolutes that are not defined by human beings. If you truly believe this, your life will change on the outside. Ex: If you realize God came to earth to save you, (instead of trying to selfishly save yourself by being nice to others or following arbitrary rules), you'll be a different person who will want to be kind to others so they'll reason you're different and want the same lifestyle with God you have, et cetera


Some existentialist beliefs: We can never know what is right or wrong in an absolute sense, because we aren't all-knowing beings, but we can try our best.


Plain and Simple I don't Want my Kid to be an Annoying Kid beliefs: control him so that you don't embarrass yourself.



Now that you've examined what's important to you, don't expect your child to automatically change right away. He's the way he is for many reasons. He needs a lot of support and love during the change, but he also needs firmness. He may be cute and cuddly, but he is also a human being with his own will, mind, and emotions.

Answer 3

By setting goals and boundaries. Giving your son lots of praise and encouragement when he does something positive shows him that he has achieved good behavior that is acceptable to you. Punishing bad behavior is the only way to stop it ! I don't mean with violence. Taking away a favorite toy, stopping favorite foods such as sweets, crisps juice etc. Timeout is another thing and also stopping him from activities he enjoys such as going out, tv, football. At home he is used to his cousins they all know their boundries with each other at school ther are manty different children with many different boundries all trying to fit into the same one !!! Good luck !!!

Answer 4

Your doing a super interest from the sound of it. It additionally feels like your recuperating consequences. I do think of that a 0.5 hour on the naughty step is alittle lots for a 6 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous, yet i'm not his mom.

Answer 5

have a meeting with his teacher, get the facts, and catch him in a lie when he says that he didnt get in any trouble. then have a serious talk with him...confronting him about the problem. and punish him for getting in trouble, and reward him when he doesnt. maybe you can get weekly updates on if hes fighting in class from his teacher, or updates every 2 weeks or so, so you can continue to do this until he breaks the habit.

Answer 6

If he is lying, it seems that he already knows the difference between right and wrong. That is why he is hiding it. It could be a plee for attention, or something like that. Yes, you definitely need to punish him for the wrong he does or he will neverlearn, but in all that make sure that he knows that he is your whole world!

Answer 7

you cant...if he gets provoked easly theres nothing real...my cousin was the same way...n when his dad tried to do something about it.. he went off on his dad!!! so yea how do you know the people fighting with him arntstarting it...maybe there saying something about you..never know talk to the others parents

Answer 8

your son needs a fren with whom he can confide. allow him to feel that your are in best fren. make him feel he can confide in you, at the same time dont pressure him much to be a dcent guy. he fights with people who foghts with him or else he is not a bully. whtx wrong in that he should know how to protech himself and his family but do make him feel that it was solved our wioth words and not alwz hands.