12 years ..should i leave? is this unhealthy?
2007-01-31 17:19:25 · 11 answers · asked by darkling 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
If you say tired & drained, that tells me that you have questions about your relationship, and you are STRESSED OUT......Am I right...? Been there that's why I say that..... I would have to ether leave or separate one of the two..... That way you can clear your head and figure out what you want to do.....
DON'T STRESS ON THE MESS.........
I just looked at all the questions you asked....There's alot of questions about your 12 YEAR RELATIONSHIP......
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.......NOW!!!!!!!!!
UNLESS YOU REALY LIKE THE WAY YOU FEEL.........
GOOD LUCK..............
2007-01-31 17:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by adevilchild38 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
12 years..... that's a long time. You say you love him.... You say the "relationship makes you feel tired and drained".....
There is no doubt in my mind that you "love" him, but my question is do you feel passion for him? Or.... is this an habitual love of sorts? Is it more routine? Does it feel like a chore rather than pleasure?
There are lots of questions you need to ask yourself. Questions that no one knows the answer to but you and you alone, and the ones you don't know the answer too are the ones you need to find the answers to. This may mean taking some time apart so that you can get a better idea of who you are on your own.
This is alot eaiser said than done, but the point is you are "tired and drained"....therefore you are not happy and content.
I'd like to recommend a book for you to read that might help. It's called "Boundaries" written by Dr. John? Townsend and Henery Cloud. I've read it twice and it's helped me in more ways than one. I've recommended it to several people and each one has told me that one or more chapters have really helped them to view their life in a different way. Perhaps it will help you to better evaluate your own situation and make the choices you need for a healthy and whole relaltionship within your "self".
((( tender hugs )))
2007-02-01 01:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by mazewalker1963 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Perhaps consider counseling for the two of you. It is better to try and rejuvenate a relationship than to dissolve it. If you think being in the relationship leaves you feeling tired and drained, a divorce will not be the spring of energy you seek - but just the opposite.
2007-02-01 01:23:26 · answer #3 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why stay with an emotional vampyre ?
What is the point in wasting your life like that ?
And you could end up like April Barber, killed by Justin Barber (also an emotionally draining person) who ended up killing her after taking out a big insurance policy.
When will women get that some men are parasites and NOT salvageable ? 12 years of BS ? Why ?
Cut your losses and free yourself to find a winner instead of a loser.
2007-02-01 01:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you want to do is up to you. I would say though since you been in this relationship for that long, there must have been something there that keep you together, something that kept that relationship alive. I would say you need to try somethings different with your partner, go somewhere or do something different. Something you both haven't tried before. Maybe a vacation or even something special on valentines day...
2007-02-01 01:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by summi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Your partner judges you.
Is there a maturity difference between you are your partner?
12 years is a good run! You should be proud it has lasted this long but it is time to call it a day.
2007-02-01 01:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe a seperation is in order, just so you can " be yourself" and see what it really means to be without a partner, and i dont mean date other people, but get in touch with who YOU are... i think you'lll soon realize that if you stayed this long it was for a reason, sometimes you just need a break to assess things and see whats really important
2007-02-01 01:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are too many unanswered questions for me to answer that..except if your tired... i'm guessing you are either making yourself love him or trying to make him love you....you can't"make" love
2007-02-01 01:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by Chris B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself.....what is the underlying issue here.....What is making you miserable?
2007-02-01 01:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need some time alone... Do you have any hobbies, friends, ... that you don't share with your partner ?
2007-02-01 01:29:57 · answer #10 · answered by nebben76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋