my dad and my mother in law are too smiliar?

Question

i hate my M.I.L cus she at every point tries to gas her sons head up into making him think im no good when she's not around he's totally ok she's the main problem and she promised me she will have me kicked out of his life she hates me just being there sometimes i get mad and want to leave then i think about how happy she would be and how sad i would be without my husband and he would be sad without me meanwhile she would be jumping for joy, i grew up and my dad is not a guy i would want around he always has negative comments and in his situation he doesn't have to lie to my mom so she can hate me but in this matter(the similarity to my M.IL) is he says im going to call your husband and tell him x.yz and im always quiet i never argue i just ask why me first him and i get married and now her i have gotten depressed due to this sometimes i think im going to die cuz im so sad i just want my husband and my kid to live our life,

i cant tell my hub of these matters cuz he will use it against me( on how im having probs with his mom and sisters) and say see ur the one whos wrong u have issues at ur house now u have issues here. and ill look like the bad guy what do i do im confused, not to mention now i got my uncles wife at it adding gossip and chatting with my mother inlaw there is no winning how can i live when the closest people to me r danger to my happiness

his sisters hate me also cuz he acts caring towards me and that pisses them off cus he used to give all of his time to them b4 getting married to me. he said hes tired of being in the middle, i dont complain to him about his mom but she gives him a daily complain report

Answer 1

First talk this over with your husband, let him know what both his mother and your father are doing to you. Then, the both of you together, go talk to your mother in law, then your father, and tell them that there is nothing that they can say or do to break you two up, that they can just quit trying. That all their talk will fall upon deaf ears. If they cannot accept the fact that the two of you are married and love each other very much, then they don't have to be apart of your lives. It's all or none.

Answer 2

Please try and get some help, start off with discussion with your doctor. Know this is not what you are wanting to hear but really and truly if you are a nice person (even a half nice person) it is impossible for all these people to have it in for you. Yes! I know you think I am talking rubbish and don't understand as you are 100% sure. However, there are more people that you imagine with the same feelings, whether about people disliking them or something else. Also if you think people do not like you it is likely you will retaliate when seeing them and giving off wrong vibes can then turn others against you. If you seek help and are told you are absolutely fine, which I really don't think is likely to happen then you would require to seriously look at yourself and see where you are going wrong. Give the doc a try it's amazing what talking it over with someone or what some light medication can do to help.

Answer 3

i think i can put my self on ur position.because i've been have the same problem as yours.i hope u can patient to pass this problem.i think u r not negative women.i knew it from ur story.u said u want to die.but,until now u still alive.that show me that u r very strong women.my advise are pls try to keep out ur self from this problem.i mean pls put ur self as the different one.not as ur self.try to find out what is the main problem that started she don't like u.is it because she hope another person to be her son's wife?or she just don't like u because u r not from the same level with her family?or maybe because u ever hurt her by acts or words that even u never release it?and there is only one way to find out it.ask her.try to have conversation with her.if she still don't want to,try to take her job( daily job such as cooking ,clean the house,gardening or else).the most important is communication.ask her to dining out.only both of u.maybe if she tired, go give her massage.give her cake or present not only in her b'day but in the usually days.give her ur attention.etc.but if u try it all and it's still not working.try to ask to ur husband maybe he can help u to be the middle 4 u and ur mil.and if it's still not working,too maybe u have to ask to ur husband about continue ur marriage.i think that's suggestion from me.i hope it's work 4 u coz' it's work for me.just be patient.and don't forget to pray to the god.

Answer 4

I didn't read your question all the way through coz I nearly fell asleep but I think you should start by becoming a bit more assertive tell your mil that she can screw her son and when your husband asks what the prob is tell him that he should grow a pair and defend you he must be a total loser if he does not know what is going on. It is apparent that either, (a) he wants his cake and eat it too or (b) he is scared of his mum either way short term misery for you is better than a lifetime at the hands of that harriden lol

Answer 5

i know what you mean, i have a very similar situation!! try to get your husband to see your point of view and your side of things. tell him that what his mother is doing is hurting you, and that what everyone else is doing hurts you jus the same. ask him why it's ok for her to put you down in so many ways when you aren't doing anything of that nature to her! you may also need to sit down wit your husband and his mother and discuss, as adults, why she is treating you like this and maybe think of ways that you could get along! i'm not quite sure what else to say, because like i said i'm going through the same thing and i've got to figure out how to solve it too :) hopefully things get better for you!!

Answer 6

From what I can tell, you have great difficulty communicating with your husband and other people, and so you spend your time guessing at their attitudes and motives.

Before you do anything else, you need to learn to communicate your feelings to your husband. After that, it will be more obvious what to do.

Answer 7

Tell the MIL and the rest of them to bite you. When your father tells you he's going to call your husband, pick up the phone, dial the number and hand the phone to him.

Answer 8

I would move has far away as possible from all of them Good Luck

Answer 9

look for some psychological help. all this 'issue' stuff is crap. life is life, if u cant handle it yell for help. & i am being genuine! sometimes honesty is the only policy

Answer 10

LEAVE THE STATE NOW!!!! You don't have a chance.