I think my best friend might have an eating disorder. what should I do?

Question

she's been acting very distant. not only towards me but like everyone including her boyfriend and family. She won't tell me what's wrong. I don't think she's eaten anything in i don't know how long. i've noticed a big weight change, and she was skinny to begin with. she's always saying that she needs to loose weight. she was like a straight A student and her grades are really slipping. and i'm really getting scared because I heard she fainted or blacked out or something like that in the hallway at school today. what should I do? should i like tell her parents? i don't want to do that if im like jumping to conclusions. but I'm really scared for her. and i know if i go to like her parents, she'll like hate me for life. what should I do?

Answer 1

I have an eating disorder and my mom did not know until I told her, even then it was hard to convince her, but I wasn't starving myself. I don't think her parents know, but I would wait on talking to them. From what you have said, I would say that she is anorexic. Is she a perfectionist? A people pleaser? Is she a disciplined person? And has she been experiencing anything that may be stressing her out or does she have something in her past that is bothering her? You need to talk to her and ask her some of these questions. Make sure to include whether she was ever sexually abused-most people with eating disorders, especially girls, have been sexually abused by a family member or friend. If not, ask if she's ever been raped? These are tough questions and she may not want to talk about this stuff. Make sure that you let her know that you are there for her no matter what and that you will always be there to talk to her. However, if you find out that she was raped or sexually abused, she needs to seek counseling asap. That's very important, because she will never get better if she doesn't talk to someone about what happened to her. It would also be a very good idea if you could get her to go see a doctor, since her eating habits have caused her to black out. That happened to me before and soon after I quit starving myself, I began to binge, overeat compulsively, but if I had not stopped when I did-and it had only been three months-I would be dead now. I was that determined and that disciplined. Your mind plays tricks on you. I don't know how, but even at 103lbs., I thought that I was fat. And no one could convince me otherwise. She needs your help and the help of a counselor and a doctor. If you can't convince her to go and you see this behavior continue, then you need to speak to her parents. She may get really upset with you, but it's better than having her die. Her hair is going to start to fall out, she'll quit getting her period, she'll be really tired and moody, very irritatable. You can also ask her if she's experiencing any of these things yet. If she is, then she's already in bad shape and you may not want to wait long before you speak with her parents, because eventually her kidneys can shut down or she can die of a heart attack. Being anorexic can eventually kill you. Anyway, I really hope this helps and if she doesn't want to talk to you. You can see if she would want to talk to me. I wouldn't tell her that you talked to me about her, you could just say that you know someone who would be willing to talk to her about what she's going through. You can email me or IM me. I'm usually on the computer at night around 10pm central time for a couple hours or you can also catch me in the evening sometimes, around 4-6pm. K? I hope that you will write me back and let me know how things went. Good luck to you and God bless.

Answer 2

I think you need to encourage her to seek help.

Is there a way of letting her parents know without her knowing? In any case, wouldn't her own parents notice that something is wrong already?

If you need more information about this condition, here is a site that contains some information http://www.eating-disorder-research.com

Answer 3

You need to confront her and look for the physical signs...weight loss, weight loss supplements, diaretics, X-lax....my best friend in college had both major eating disorders and it got so bad, one night she almost died on my bed. She finally got help, but that is after I went to her parents, after I went to her friends and then later, I went to her doctor, who of course wouldn't acknowledge that she was her patient, but I made her listen that my friend was lying to her about what she was doing and that the habits were still there. You need to monitor her closely, does she go to the bathroom right after a meal? If you can, follow her in....quietly. Make references about weight and see what she says. Talk to her first, talk to your other friends and ask them to help out and to keep an eye on her, but doing nothing is the worst thing you could do. My friend hated me for six months because of everything I did to help her, but after she got out of the hospital, she thanked me.

Answer 4

It is ur duty as her best friend to take care of her, ask her first. Asked if she has been having problem lately n' make sure u tell her n' reminds her that u're her best friend, and that u care about her n' u won't stop till she tells u. good luck.

Answer 5

try talking to her returned. She might nicely be in denial. If she does not want to communicate approximately it or makes excuses, consult together with her determine/parent or somebody in college like a instructor or counselor.

Answer 6

You have to try to respect her by asking her the problem by focusing it on yourself and how you feel. example: "I feel that...I think that... I'm worried...." Don't do anything accusing such as "Are YOU okay?" "YOU've been acting weird" "I heard YOU..." Let her know that you are concerned and if she acts irrational you might have to tell the situation to someone of higher authority.