My husband and I are both very attractive and high maintenance people.When our daughter was born 16 years ago we were both expecting a beauty queen but were devestated by what we got.We've tried dealing with the fact that our daughter is ugly but it's been hell.We send her to boarding school where she's been since she started school but now she wants to come home and I don't know how to deal.I don't want to take her places or be seen with her really.My husband has been able to deal with it a lot better than me but I don't know what to do once she gets here.She has everything a girl could possibly want material wise but still can't make friends and I'm so ashamed of her for it.We've never called her ugly to her face or tried to put her down in any way.How in the world could this have happened?What's a parent supposed to do?
Why are people on here being so rude to me?I'm trying to do right by her!We've never done anything to make her feel bad about herself and we do love her.
2007-01-31 15:40:33 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yeah, sure. I think the question should be, what did she do to deserve these parents.
2007-01-31 15:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 18⤊ 0⤋
I am horrified by your question. How can a parent have such a negative attitude and feeling about her own daughter? As a mother you should have unconditional love to your daughter. Even a dog has unconditional love to its offspring!
About your daughter's ugliness, it's only skin deep. She needs your love and compassion, which any mother would readily shower her child. Appearance ugliness is not your daughter's fault. You, however, is ugly from the heart level. You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF instead of be ashamed of your daughter. You do not have the quality of a mother. You do not have a quality of a human being! Even a stranger would try to control themselves when wanting to say someone is ugly. You, however, incapable of controlling your ugly comments about her.
Have you ever considered the cause of your daughter's ugliness? May be you did something wrong while having her in your womb. Did you take care of yourself mentally and physically well during pregnancy? Or did you smoke, drink, use drugs, and having excessive sex without regard to your unborn child?
It is very easy to know that you were the culprit who created your daughter's suffering based on the fact that you do not have any consideration for your daughter's well being. The material things you gave your daughter does not mean anything! Do you understand?
I suggest you to start embrace your daughter as a whole person, give her unconditional love. May be with your love, your daughter will bloom into a beautiful angel.
2007-01-31 15:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
People are being rude to you because they think that your shallow and mean yourself.
The first thing you've got to do is present a good, combined front with your husband for your daughter. Maybe if people thought you thought she was ok they would like her more.
You may think she is ugly-how so? Maybe its make up lets say. You can suggest to her that you go on a shopping spree and show her the make up counter and see if she wants a free make up. (She may not know how to apply make up)
Talk to her. Ask what is the one thing she wants to change about herself-go from there.
No person is entirely ugly and some people don't feel the need to be high maintenance people. I think with a little communication you three will work it out.
2007-01-31 15:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My god, how where you raised? The only ugly people I see here are that girl's parents. Be thankful as the other person said that she's not handicapped, my sister who is beautiful and only 27 gave birth to a rare Downs Syndrome daughter who is amazingly beautiful, you are a snob and a socially materialistic parent and honestly, I have never said or thought this about anyone before, but with all the unfortunate childless couples out there and you have a child that all you do is complain about her looks. Did you you preview your question?
2007-02-03 13:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by Dolly J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is what you do. Find a family that will love her for who she is.....Or ...Second choice.....Go down to the local hardware store and buy this stuff called muratic acid. Poor some in a cup, go to the bathroom sink, because you don't want this getting on the carpet, and poor it in your so beautiful eyes. Then you will never have to worry about looking at you beautiful daughter again. At least you have a daughter, but then again, I have not figured out how you were blessed with children in the first place. Maybe God was trying to teach you a lesson for having an ugly heart. Just because you don't thing she is beautiful, doesn't mean that she isn't.
2007-01-31 15:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing you can add to this to make most people here not be rude to you. You and your husband are very ugly people just because of this. Looks are not all that makes a person beautiful. I hope someone takes your child away and loves her the way she deserves to be loved and respected. There are so many people out there who want children and cant have them and then their are idiots like you 2 that can have children and don't deserve them. You are horrible people.
2007-02-03 07:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you don't love her and she knows it. She also knows you think she is ugly and that is probably why she does not make friends. She can't feel good about herself.
You sound like you have plenty of cash to see a psychiatrist and I suggest you do. Some one needs to help you deal with this. Ask yourself; Is she really ugly or just not as pretty as you would like? Is she ugly inside or outside? Are you really as attractive as you think you are? How many real friends do you have?
These are questions you need to answer truthfully and it sounds like you can't do that alone. Get help now, before she gets home. Some people are simply not physically attractive - which is subjective, but when someone feels good about her self and are truly loved those who should love her, have confidence and are beautiful inside; fun and caring. Anyone who can be fun, loving, and caring have plenty of friends who also see them as attractive.
2007-01-31 16:10:20 · answer #7 · answered by howdigethere 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her then you wouldnt have to ask what did u do to deserve an ugly daughter. You act like you are the victim in the situation. Look at what you wrote. "I dont want to take her places or be seen with her really". You have a serious mental problem. Maybe you need to grab a hold of reality and realize that you are an egomaniac.
2007-01-31 17:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm am not going to pass judgement on you because that is not my job, but as a mother myself, i wouldn't care less about my child's outward beauty. Thats not what i want my kids to base their life on. I thank God everyday that my kids are healthy, happy, functioning people. What's more important to me is their self worth, morals, values and what they have on the inside. I would feel awful if my parents didn't want me to come home from school because of the way i look. Even if you've never actually spoke the words, a person, not to mention your own child would be able to sense feelings like this. Good luck to you and your family.
2007-01-31 16:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by believer26 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People are being rude to you because you are not trying to do right by her; you're trying to do right by yourselves and you place a high value on superficial looks.
She probably knows that you are ashamed of the way she looks; you don't have to do anything bad to her - she's probably smart enough to read between the lines. Thank goodness for her she only has a couple of years to live under your roof. I'd really hate it if my parents treated me that way. So she doesn't live up to your standard of beauty - poor you. What you did to deserve an ugly daughter was be ugly on the inside....
2007-01-31 15:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
First off you 2 dont deserve to have a duaghter. You need to stop being a couple of douche bags and realize that your daughter is beautiful, because she's yours. You say you are embarrased to go places with her but you love her? Get over yourself. Mabey your daughter cant make any friends because she has been poked off by her parents all her life and she never learned the social skills that her parents were supposted to teach her! But you couldent because you were embarased of taking her into public places and social settings. You 2 have to be the WORST PARENTS IN THE WORLD, AND I THANK GOD I WASNT BORN YOUR CHILD AND I PRAY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER! As for you 2, BURN IN HELL!!!!!!
2007-01-31 15:53:30 · answer #11 · answered by adam b 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋