How do i get back my self confidence that I lost?

Question

First of all, let me explain. In 6th and 7th grade I had no problems with confidence at all, but then for 8th grade my mother made me switch schools and it went down hill from there. Since i was so angry i started gaining alot of weight and became fat, i got made fun of at school and even worse my own mother.

My mother gets really angry sometimes and basically says im worthless, fat, ugly..everything you could think of. Well this has been going on for atleast 3 years now and at this point I hate even going to the mall because i cant stand seeing people my own age ( im 17)...If someone can please tell me how i can get my confidence and life back i would really appreciate it.

Please dont say see a doctor because i dont want to do that, THANKS

sry guys, i forgot to mention that i did lose the weight and am no longer fat, but i still get shivers when i even hear that word i think there talking about me, but anyway i did lose the weight and thanks for the help!

Answer 1

Yo man. I know how you feel. In middle school especially I got a lot of crap from people.

Then somethin happened bro, I grew up..and other people grew up. I got older (I'm 20 now) and I'll tell you straight up those things matter a lot less. In high school, what you're in now, kids are all punks who don't know anything. Granted I am still young, but the experiences and life changes you'll have and other people will have will definitley make them appreciate the people more than the looks.

Stay strong, KNOW who you are. Be comfortable with it, and just keep telling yourself you are able to think back and remember what tools those people are. Work hard in school, maybe move on to further education. Make yourself better and play off your strengths. People will respect you for it.

Find the people around you who are really your friends. Stick close and learn from them. Damn man, I'd totally be your mentor if I had the chance.

Beauty comes and goes, but personality and smarts last forever.

Someday these fools will be the same old crinkly people. It comes in cycles. Tell your mom you are who you are...doin the best you can. be straight up. assertive. Be willing to take a risk.

If you meet resistance, stay strong bro.

If you need any other kind words hit me up

[e-mail]

Always more than willing to mentor/big brother a little.

You've got a guy right here rooting for you to succeed, so go out there and do it. Prove who you are and not worry what a bunch of teenage punks think.

Answer 2

Depends on how badly you're damaged.

You have to believe in yourself and not really put so much stock in what other people say. If you believe everything everyone tells you - there isn't a lot anyone here can do for you.
You need to stand tall. Tell yourself that everything you say is important and that everyone needs your advice. You admit to having a weight problem. Gaining weight may be a mistake, but keeping it on is a choice.
You are the master of your own destiny. This is the United States. Anything is possible. The difference between trying and succeeding lies in a persons' determination - if you can want it, you can get it. Don't expect people to hand anything to you. Get out and do something to change your own life. If you can't, figure out what you need to do to change and just do it.
Confidence is something you create for yourself. Other people having confidence in you is something you earn.

The bottom line - it's all on you - no matter what you do. Your success or your failure, in everything, is a result of your own planning and execution.

Answer 3

First of all, your mother sounds like a real charm, but I digress.

If you've gained weight and not yet shed it, you may want to start there. It's superficial, but your external image has an awful lot to do with your self-image. Find some physical activity you enjoy, and do it faithfully - a sport, jogging, weights, whatever, just something to get you moving, exercising, and physically healthy.

Objectively assess your diet, and make improvements where necessary to help yourself get in shape. Don't get nutty about it, but if you find you're eating a lot of junk food or fast food, try to cut back on that in favor of healthier choices.

Confront your mother. Tell her how her behavior makes you feel. If that works, great. If it doesn't, try not to let her destroy your self-esteem.

Self-esteem is very important. You must be able to appreciate who you are as a person. Figure out who you want to be, and work towad being that person. Don't allow others to stand in your way or knock you down as long as you're working toward a goal you've decided is right (and healthy) for you.

Friends are also very important. Examine your circle of friends. If you don't like what you find, work on making some changes. Make new friends who share your interests, face smiliar challenges and can relate to, even if you challenge one another's perspectives on things. Nothing beats a good support network of friends.

Good luck.

Answer 4

You have to decide what you ware willing to do to get better. It sounds like you suffered or are still suffering from minor to moderate depression. Your mother sounds like a real worthless person, so do not try to imitate her. You may not need to see a doctor, but a therapist or counselor could help. Also try some exercise. It not only helps with weight loss, but can battle the symptoms of depression as well. The teenage years are difficult at best. Keep your head up and never give up on yourself. Do whatever it takes to make yourself better. You are worth the effort.

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. The same thing happened to me and I ended having to be homeschooled for 8th grade because the kids were so mean. Just let me asure you that things will get better. High School is alot easier. Just try to blend in as much as you can and keep your head high no matter what happens. Remember: It's more important to love who you are than what you look like. Try writing your mom a heartfelt letter expressing the way she makes you feel and how her comments are not going to make you any better. Take Care - God loves you!

Answer 6

your mother shouldnt be saying stuff like that to u she should be helping u thru this. but to get it all back just ignore what she says and yes it will be very hard but just tell urself that ur better then she thinks and then prove it to her. give urself a pep talk every day and be around ppl that like u for who u are. u just have to keep telling ur self that theres nothing wrong w/the way u look. dont worry about what other ppl think about u cuz no matter how good u look there is always going to be some one out there that is going to make fun of u just to make them look better and feel better. u just have to except u for u and start workin out, get a new wardrobe and a new hair cut. do any thing that makes u feel good and always tell urself that ur awesome and great no matter what other ppl say. good luck. i hope this helps and if u need anything else just email me and ill be glad to help any way i can.

Answer 7

First, you need to sit down with your mother and explain to her how her words have hurt you. This is unexceptable behavior for her. (I grew up with a father that did the same ..not fun)

Have your mother hand over the Visa card to buy you a health club membership.

Hang in there man ... you have lots of things to be thankful for. Look at the positive things !

Answer 8

Try to set daily and weekly goals for yourself and then you will gain self-confidence when you achieve your goals. Or, you can try talking to your school counselor or a trusted friend or priest.

Try to work on losing weight if that will make you feel better about yourself. Talk with your mother about what she says and how it makes you feel.

Answer 9

I would start walking around the block and gain urself again! when u felt good you were in good shape and eating sorta good. eat only when your hungry, snack only with carrots and vegs., when you get depressed take your stress out on working out! when u regain your ability to feel better, you will understand its just the weight!!!