Do you *really* think there's someone out there for everyone?

Question

I'm beginning to wonder about this... I'm 21, and I never had a girlfriend (though I've tried). I don't consider myself unattractive, in fact, I've been told by many people that I am good looking, cute, and one girl even said I was hot. I feel like I'm doomed to be alone in life. Every girl I talk to seems to brush me off or loses interest in talking to me any longer. A few of them have said I'm not talkative enough (I can't help that, I've always been like that). I'm kind and respectful, don't smoke, don't do drugs, I don't even drink, but they just don't seem to see any good in that. It's really depressing how no girl wants me. I used to have a lot of confidence, but with all these rejections, I am losing a lot of it.

Answer 1

There isn't someone out there for everyone. That's part of the reason some people stay alone. But that doesn't mean that all single people don't have that other person they have yet to find. It just means they haven't met them yet, they're looking in the wrong places or they are trying too hard or even not enough. Yes, there are a number of reasons people are single when they'd rather not be, BUT DUDE, you're 21 years old! You're very young and why the heck do you want a girlfiend? These are the best years of your life- enjoy them. If you want to just have fun and meet girls, then do it. Ask a bunch of girls out (but not just anyone of course) and believe me, someone will want to go out with you. Someone will see that you have all the qualties you say you have. The absolute worse thing that can happen is a girl brushes you off. So what? Go to the next. Some guys you may see with a girl in their arm, but how many times do you think that guy flirted around till one of these girls actually gave him a chance? You have to either try a little harder (because many of us women love to play hard to get) or don't try at all. But don't expect instant results unless you're a Bradd Pitt or Jared Leto. It's just the way it is. And most importantly, don't EVER look like you have no confidence. If a girl senses that believe me, you've already lost the game. It's a total turn off when a guy is unsure of himself. Also, you say that you use to be confident, but not anymore because of the rejection. Don't ever let yourself get to that point because a girl should never determine your self-worth. Keep your head up always and trust me, you will find someone.

Answer 2

There is absolutely AT LEAST one person for everyone. There has to be.

Consider this: How many people in the world would you estimate have happy marriages and would attest to having found their "soul mate"? Now consider how many people there are in the world and how unlikely it would be to find that ONE soul mate if there was indeed only one per person.

I think it's safe (and wise) to conclude that there are many people out there that would be excellent matches for one person.

From what you've said my suggestions would be to...

(1) be patient! You're only 21. You're not old. I'm 26 and I've had several relationships but I'm not married yet. After each relationship I can't imagine finding a girl better than the last, but it's always happened so far. The last girl was amazing but it just didn't work out for a few reasons.

(2) get your confidence back. Girls like confident guys. It's a numbers game just like sales. Ask enough people to buy your product and someone will.

(3) consider what kind of girl it is that you really like and compare that to the girls you've sought in the past. Do they match that picture?

(4) be talkative! You CAN change this about yourself. If the girls say you don't talk enough, TALK MORE.

Good luck.

Answer 3

not having a girlfriend doesn't really....mean anything. you're probably a great guy, and from what you said it seems like any girl would be lucky to have you! Maybe...have you tried to do something new with a girl you like? like instead of using your old ways of "trying to get her" .. mix it up a bit, maybe its just what you're doing that's not working, you know what i mean? and maybe the, not talkative thing... maybe that can tell a girl that ur not interested when you are! it might give a wrong impression, especially on a date. so when you're out or when you're talking to a girl you like... just bring up topics! what you used to do, high school, the past is a really good place to go cuz there are a tons of stories from there! and get HER to talk too, make her feel good about herself and listen. listen. and...DONT lose your confidence, because a guy with no confidence is just worse! a girl wants a guy that at least has a handle on what he's doing and has a good self-esteem! and i doubt that NO girl wants you! because.. you know i've found that for every one person that rejects you, there are probably twice more wishing to go out with you! so don't lose hope, don't give up! keep trying, and it'll happen. you are not doomed to be alone. no one is. i think that there IS someone out there for everyone... but its not limited to one person. you can have multiple soul mates =)))) Good luck!!

Answer 4

God loves everyone, belivers and non-believers, those who sin the most and those who sin the least. He loves us equally, but he has laid down a pathway to heaven that you must follow to live with him for eternity. You follow the path out of love for him, not fear as many people like to claim. Why doesn't he answer all prayers? Good question. There are many possible explanations: He can't control people's free will so you may be asking him to do something that he can't because he has no power to control another person's free will. He also stopped interfering with life on earth after he sent his son Jesus to die for our sins. It is possible that what we are asking for does not fit into his plan for our lives. And some of the things we ask for are silly: asking for a new car, asking for a million dollars. Our society makes us believe many things that are important that are not. God does however promise us food, clothing, and shelter, the three basic things we need. We all do have to die at sometime, so he may not always save our dying loved ones when we would like, if its time for them to go, its time for them to go.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that..........try not to lose your confidence and be depressed. Unfortuneately, there's a lot of girls out there like the guys that are really tough, have good conversation,etc. Once I had a guy like yourself and didn't want nothing more than being friends...........He was hurt!! I tried to be nice about it. Anyways, later on I regret not going with him cuz I learned that these types of guys don't want a relationship to last. Can't turn back the clock - You sound honest, sincere and a very nice guy. So, don't lose hope. I'm sure one day you'll find a nice girl. I hope this was helpful?

Answer 6

I think there is someone out there for everyone. In your case, just keep on going. You won't have to change yourself or your beliefs when that person does come along.

Yeah, it can take awhile! You have to be patient. Be positive about the feedback you get. You've obviously been told that you're good looking. That's a good thing, right? You can be confident in that.

Everyone gets rejected. There's no magic answer to this question...just be patient! I know that sucks, but waiting for the right one is far better than settling.

Good luck!!

Answer 7

Yes, it's hard to believe it after a while. Just wait until a woman you grow close with picks up the vibe and realizes you like her and says she sees you as a friend/brother/uncle and that's all you'll ever be.

I've heard that you end up finding somebody to date (or marry) when you stop looking for it. Maybe because you focus elsewhere and start to seem more confident, less desperate. I don't know about that, because every time I decide to give up dating, I meet somebody new who makes me hope again, and it doesn't work out, and I try to date for a while, give it up again, meet somebody new... and so on, ad nauseum.

Answer 8

You sound like one heck of a good guy, your only 21, there are lots of girls out there, you just haven't come across the right one for you yet. You know what they say, love will bite you when you least expect it!! Don't give up!! Keep all you wonderful qualities, someday, someone special will appreciate you for who you are. It's the wait that is so difficult though.... Good Luck!

Answer 9

Do you have a hobby?

Example: Jazz

Go somewhere that plays jazz music, maybe you'll meet a girl who shares your same passion for jazz.

You seem like a good guy, you don't need to change. Sure, more talking would be nice, try, current events, bands.

You're probably just meeting these girls at the wrong places.

Answer 10

First of all keep your confidence, but dont be cocky. The only way you can find a gf is if you go out so first of all go out. Do stuff in your community or wtv.. Also maybe first make a girl.. friend. So u can get use to being around girls and stuff, then she can show you around and then you will meet other ppl. i wish you luck!