Anyone else's toddler do this?

Question

Ok I try not to hit my son but I do warn him. When he acts up I tell him first to go to time out. Which is turned face around in the corner. But if he persist on acting up I tell him Im going to spank him. Which I rarely do. The most I do is pinch his upper arm. But there are times when he is acting up and I tell him to stop and behave. He then looks at me really angry and starts to slap himself. Hard too. Earlier today at the doctors office I told him to sit down quit running or I'll tell your dad. Who he knows his dad doesn't play. Anyway he started clawing his skin on his arm rough and I was like why are you doing that. Anyway is this normal behavior for a 3 year old.

Don't get me wrong he is a good kid even with manners. At times when this happens he is usually really hyper or we are out in public.

Answer 1

He is just angry and trying to get a reaction out of you, I work at a daycare and you would not be leave how many 3 yrs old hit themselves, bite themselves and pinch themselves to make them cry so they will get more attention. Not that i am saying that it is normal, you might want to take him to a doctor or you could just wait it out, children go through phases, if he starts to do it to other children is when you should get really worried.
Try this first it might be hard but give it a shot, next time you punish him and he starts hitting... himself COMPLETELY ignore it, don't finch or anything and see what he does. He could be testing you.
and dont let anyone tell you that you can not spank your child, it is not abuse when you do it with in reason, there are a bunch of hippies kids running amuck becaue they were given a "time out" like that will solve anything.

Answer 2

My 3 year old doesn't do quite that but he knows how to roll his eyes, play the delaying game if I send him to his room, make the proper grunts, etc and from time to time, do things that ultimately cause pain to himself. Simply put, he knows these things will get him attention(and they usually do) and give him some feeling of being in charge and then he usually goes into a crying spell. People don't give 3 years olds credit but they are VERY attentive and pick up on everything. My son knows when I am very serious and he knows what is next if he doesn't behave. I don't want to say it is a temper tantrum but it sounds like he is doing just that. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

No, it's not normal. Sounds like he is trying to express his frustration, and has found a way to do it (through beating himself up). You need to help him find a better way, teach him how to VERBALLY express himself, or find a good way to run off his energy.

Also, you might want to re-think the pinching. I know, I know, everyone is saying that. But seriously, I go through the same things with my kids, but when they won't stand in the corner, I pop them on the butt. The point of spanking is not really to HURT the kid, just to kind of SCARE him, let him know you're serious, etc.

Good luck- gotta love those toddlers.

Answer 4

i swear it is something to do with boys. my uncle did it when he was lil and my nephew did it.
grandma said it was only a phase.
i hope u get this part too. i just read about people saying not to threaten with a spanking or don't make dad the bad guy, oh and that he doesn't no what a time out is.
i discipline my 2 year old the same way. she fully understands what the time out chair is and i give her a lil leeway on a spank. and my daughter also knows that daddy does not play.

Answer 5

it sounds like he's sending you a message, one mommy don't pinch me, 2)don't threaten dad on me, he sounds like a bright kid, him hitting himself is as ridicules as you pinching him, why do you threaten dad, are you trying to make your husband the heavy you should both be, it also sounds like you make a lot of empty threats i will spank you, yet you say you rarely do, i think you need a time out chair not face to corner, start watching nanny 911 or super nanny to give yourself some other options you are doing this because you don't know what to do, you are not being consistent, and by pinching and spanking you are being cruel, your child is acting confused, frankly your behavior as a mom confuses me, try a parenting class, that's not saying your a bad mom it's admitting you need more options and support being consistent and fair

Answer 6

It doesn't sound "normal" persay, but he may just be getting a rise out of you. I'm having a hard time understanding why you threaten, threaten, threaten and then PINCH your child when he doesn't listen? Perhaps he'd do better at the listening and obeying part if you tried listening to him, hearing him out, being patient and being less passive. Telling a 3 year old that "I'm going to tell your dad" has about as much weight as a feather coming from you. I'd suggest looking into a way to distract him from his poor behaviior and re-enforcing the great things he does. Perhaps he won't act out as much. Good luck.

Answer 7

my son did this for a short period of time when he was around three. at first i was horrified. i thought he was starting in on some kind of self mutilation thing or something. each time he did it was after i would tell him that if he didnt behave i would give him a smack on his bottom. (i'm more of a time out person, but every now and then a quick swat on the butt gets their attention better). he would start hitting himself in the head and running his fingernails down his face. i freaked out at first, but then i got a grip and realized he was acting out. he was like, well if you're gonna, hit me, i'll do it myself.
i would get down at his level, take his hands and put them at his side, and tell him "this is not acceptable behavior" (i know, supernanny right?) and that he was not to do that anymore. i would say "you dont do that to yourself." he did it for about three months off and on until he finally quit.
kids do try different types of communication and ways to act out aggression or frustration. some mouth off, some throw things, some pout, and some are more physical. i wouldnt get too worried, but i would try to put a stop to the behavior and try getting him to "use his words" rather than physically harm himself.
also, i have three boys and i would say that the 3's were more challenging than the "terrible 2's". for me anyway!
good luck!

Answer 8

You know what I've noticed from my son's playgroups? The kids that hit, are the same ones that get spanked. I think it would be a nicer world if physical violence was never introduced to our babies. Get the Super Nanny book and try her tips on time outs.
Worked great for us.

Answer 9

How old is your child? Up until 2 and a half years you child has little to no concept of what a time out is...and you're just going to scare him by hitting him. Punishments rarely work b/c your child isn't truly even conscious yet (out of sight, out of mind.) Beyond 2 1/2, a child who is hit or threatened will expect it as normal behavior. If you don't do it, he will then do it to himself. You need to change the way you parent if physical punishment is even a consideration. Think about how you'd feel if a giant who claimed they loved you hit you or threatened you if you were only doing what comes naturally to you (acting out or running) and believe me...children need to run. If you are calm and give him opportunities to run or act goofy, then you will have a calmer child. If you don't and keep a combative posture with your toddler, you will have a combative and possibly disturbed child. Good Luck, and try it now before the only thing that works with your son is physical violence.

Answer 10

Avoiding the debate between spanking and not spanking, I just wanted to raise another point...

If you aren't actually going to follow through with a punishment, then you shouldn't threaten that punishment. Saying "I'll spank you" means nothing if he's already learned that you won't, it just teaches him that you aren't serious with your threats. If you don't want to spank him, don't say you will. And please, please, PLEASE don't set dad up as the disciplinarian. You're undermining your own authority, teaching him that he has to listen to his dad but not to you. And also what kind of relationship are you hoping to create between them if you use dad as the bad guy? Would you want your son dreading your coming home because he associated your arrival with punishment? Be firm, be consistent, and just make sure his nails are cut short so he can't actually hurt himself. He sounds relatively normal to me.