Met a girl who trained me at an old job of mine. Ever since, we'd have deep convos where she'd usually call me, and confide in me about a lot for hours on end. She also would laugh at things I didn't mean to be funny, and was apologetic alot when she didn't need to be. She would also call me up during a holiday and also spent 5 hours on the phone with me the other night, apologizing saying how she had been busy because of her job.
She does have a boyfriend though, that's why I'm not pushing it. They been together for 4 years, but she'll tell me that it's not the greatest, and when she goes over there she makes it sound like its a night job rather than spending time with him. She also says to me that she's faithful.
What is it that's going on......exactly? Is there more to it than can be assumed already?
BTW, here relationship is on the outs and she's telling me she's getting rid of him soon. I asked her to my work's christmas party, which she apologetically never got back to me abo
2007-01-31 12:53:59 · 17 answers · asked by heymanchase 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
UPDATE: I recently told her how I felt, and she greeted that with nothing but LONG silences on the phone. She then tells me she cant' think of anybody else right now but her unstable boyfriend because last time she didn't keep her focus on a failing relationship, lots of bullshit came out of it and she doesn't want to complicate anything.
Does she like me? How come when I finally called her out on it in a tactful but firm way she was dead silent? And how come she wants to talk more about it and is telling me I can tell her anything about it? When I asked her if she had interest in me she said "Well, we do have a lot in common, but I can't think about that right now"
Ladies, what's the deal?
2007-01-31 12:55:14 · update #1
She's telling you that she has enough on her plate. She isn't the type of person who can jump from one bad relationship, into a transitional one. She's just not ready. Believe me...if you care about her, YOU don't want a transitional relationship with her either! They never last. You will be better off in the long run if you wait. Right now, she's got a lot of emotional baggage and you don't want her projecting her OLD boyfriends issues onto you. She needs time to deal with that.
2007-01-31 12:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it sounds like she liked you alot and considered you a trustworthy friend while she was in her relationship. However, when she no longer had an excuse to keep you at a close but distant level, she backed way up.
Doesnt sound like she knows what she wants. She liked the idea of flirting with you and you her while she was in her relationship. It gave her some excitement, and because she was in the relationship, she knew you wouldnt persue and you guys were free to flirt without commitment.
This all changed when her relationship failed. She now has to face her actions with you prior to the split, so she is backing off a bit.
It doesnt mean she dont care for you, but reality wasnt quite as fun this way.
Back off from her, and give her some space. Dont allow her to think she can come and go whenever she chooses with you. Playing with peoples feelings isnt cool.
Dont wait around on her.......date other women.
She will either come around or she wont.
Its a toss up honestly.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-31 21:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She likes you and trusts you as a friend. She wants a neutral male friend who will care about her and not expect more of her. If you decide to stay in her life, it would be best to accept that role and not push for something more intimate at this point. Even if she was to break up with the bf of 4 years, she will not be ready for another relationship for at least several months later, maybe even a year or more. She will need time to pick up the pieces and gain a new perspective. Any sooner would very possibly be setting you both up for a let down. She knows how you feel though. If she remains in your life, it probably means she likes the idea.
2007-01-31 21:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she sees you as a very close, trusted friend. Since she is going through this potential break-up, she is turning to you for help. This can lead to something in the future, but right now I'm afraid you are stuck in the friend role. That is not necessarily a bad thing since some of the best relationships start out as friends. Just be there for her and see what happens.
2007-01-31 20:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what you should do? Just get her and kiss her. If she really likes you then at that moment she would forget about her guy or she would just not care about anything in the world except you two. Its true I felt that way before by one magical kiss. But if she pulls away and says this and that then Im sorry but you need to stop talking to her. She might be doing that to mess with your head and get some kind of pleasure of the thought that your constantly thinking that there can be something between you guys. Either way you need to figure it out fast before you really get hurt. Good Luck to you and if you want email me to ask more
2007-01-31 21:01:52 · answer #5 · answered by wildiva3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you have been branded as the "gay friend" or best friend. I bet you she just want one of those guys who can listen to her(or them) talk to on hours and expect nothing from the guy.
I don't blame you for the way you are feeling right now too. She has been leaning on you a lot. And now you expect a little something something in return.
Either get the facts straight and move on or confront her or set some limits. You have let her be too greedy with your time. You have a life too. Set a limit to yourself. Find the need for yourself too.
2007-01-31 21:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by debah v 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's using you. It will never go anywhere, so just be content to be her friend if you are okay with just that. But if I were you, I'd not let her use me like that. Find a girl who will really appreciate you and want a relationship rather than this girl who just wants you when it's convenient.
Chances are that if you did find a girl and start dating, this girl would act much more interested. If this happens, ignore her. She still isn't worth it.
2007-01-31 21:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
playa stay away from her right now. I mean let's look at the signs, she confides in you, she talks to for five hours straight, and she says that she sorry that she hasn't talked to you in a while. Either she sees you as a very deep friend who she can confide in, which I highly doubt, or she does like you and she is just afraid to admit it. In either situation though dude if you find yourself getting pulled in, that drama just may translate over to you.
2007-01-31 21:00:23 · answer #8 · answered by Bobby G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl's crazy, thriving on chaos and drama. Run the other way NOW!!!!!!!! You can not save her from her problems. She's going to jerk you around, flirt and be close then be, Oh I'm not ready lets be friends! If you get played, don't come crying on here asking
" why's she doing this to me/ why did she dump me"
You've been forewarned......
2007-01-31 21:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by thegoosegod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey brother, she is using you man! That same crap happened to me. They get out of you what they cannot get out of their boyfreinds. She may not want to cheat on the guy, but she is needy, so she come to you for convos, and all that mushy stuff that her guy dosnt give her. Dont waste you time with her and direct your attention to someone who is willing to give you as much as taking from you.
Wish you da best brother!
2007-01-31 21:07:36 · answer #10 · answered by bipyramus 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋