what are good redneck jokes??????

Question

tell me some good redneck jokes...the best will get favorite answer!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

OK, Here goes, Footballer!!! This yankee was doing some duck hunting near a southern farm. He spotted a nice duck, drew up on him and shot him down. Trouble was, the duck was on the other side of the fence. He was just climbing thru the fence, when he heard a tractor drive up. The old farmer on the tractor said,"What are ya doin'?". He said," I'm getting my duck." The farmer said,"Nope, that's MY duck!" So he said,"..but I shot it. That makes it mine!" Farmer,"It's on my land, so it's mine!, but we have a tradition here about these disputes. We can kick each other in the jewels and see who keeps the duck." Yankee,"OK fine!" (he's an old man, I got this!) So the farmer says,"I go first."
"(sure, why not?, I'll mess this old guy up!!)OK!"
So the farmer steps back and lunges with all of his weight into the city boys groin.
Now the city boy, after he's caught his breath and vomited, says,"ALRIGHT, MY TURN!!"
The farmer says,"Awe I reckon you can keep the duck!!"

Answer 2

you might be a redneck if your at a party, someone yells hoedown!, and your girlfriend hits the floor

you might be a redneck if You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

you might be a redneck If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.


you might be a redneck if You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"

you might be a redneck if You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

you might be a redneck if The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"

you might be a redneck if Someone in your family says "Com'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

you might be a redneck if You've ever slow danced in a Waffle House.

you might be a redneck if You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the backseat.

You might be a redneck Jedi if... Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come over to the darkside ... it'll be a hoot!"

Answer 3

You know you are at a redneck family reunion when you yell "Ho Down!" and all the men come running.

A redneck said to his wife, "If we get divorced, will we still be brother and sister?"

You know your a redneck when you mow your lawn and find a used car lot.

Answer 4

YA know when it's time to put pants on junior when he gets up to reach the greens and mama exclaims "paw, he just plowed a furrow thru the mashed potatoes" !!

And then another:

Show me a man that thinks he can , and I'll show you 10 women what knows he can't.....


If'n you can't love them, they're probably rednecks...and still using the 5 finger jive...

Answer 5

President Bush is a redneck joke

Answer 6

What does a redneck girl say after sex?


Dad, you're crushing my smokes.

Answer 7

How do you castrate a redneck?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

How many rednecks does it take to eat roadkill?
Three. One to eat it and two to watch for oncoming traffic.

These are the only two I know offhand

Answer 8

Q: what do you get with 32 rednecks in one room?
A: A full set of teeth!

Answer 9

...
if your house, is more mobile then your car,,,,, you might be a redneck

if you bring a cooler of beer to church,,,,,you might be a redneck

if your nipple look like tree trunks,,,,,, you might be a redneck

if you get remarried 4 times, and still have the same inlaws,,,,,, you might be a redneck

if you say, hey yall watch this, and all your relatives blow up,,,,,you might be a redneck,

if at your family reunion, the only relatives you have are your parents and their parents,,,,, you might be a redneck

Answer 10

You're a redneck if you let your 13-year old daughter smoke in front her son/cousin.